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  1. #11
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    I hope you can get your dh more supportive of the nursing in public. You'll start to be really limited if you get pressure not to NIP. The hassle of pumping just to feed when out seems like too much for me but I know some people do it. i don't know. One of the best things about nursing was being able to do it wherever and whenever needed, kwim? No one should be offended by a baby needing to be fed and bf'ing is a legitimate choice that people shouldn't frown upon.

    I nursed in a Catholic church last year (I am a very lapsed Catholic). No issues there.

    Practice w/o the cover being discreet and no one needs to even know you are nursing. Baby could just be resting in your arms.

    Beth

    totally agree. we go to Mass every week and have since dd2 was 2w old. (with dd1 I skipped it till she was about 8w old) We sit in the 2nd row and I nurse right there - no cover or anything. I also nursed dd1 through just about EVERY mass as an infant. every Priest has commented on how nice it is to see me nursing baby just as Jesus was. I think you're ok wherever, but if you're in the crying room and have a cover, there's no reason to hide even further.

  2. #12
    DebbieJ is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I would totally nurse in the crying room!

    Our church has a room for nursing moms that has audio of what is going on in the service. I really appreciate it.
    Last edited by DebbieJ; 02-08-2010 at 12:24 AM.
    ~ deb
    DS1 Dec 2003
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  3. #13
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I haven't read the other replies but I'm Catholic and breastfed my babies under a very light blanket in the nursery/cryroom. I rarely got a second glance. During the summers it got very hot in that room and I asked the lady in charge of Sacraments and Worship if there was another place I could nurse so I could remove the blanket. She was wonderful and suggested a room right off the cryroom that wasn't in use. She also said that if that was too hot, I could go in what used to be the pastor's apartment which was still occasionally used for visiting priests but mostly empty. Lots of comfy chairs up there!

    I would be EXTREMELY surprised that the Catholic Church has any kind of rules on breastfeeding. Although, i agree with you that if you were near any older folks who were praying, the cute little suckling noises might cause them to lose their place on the rosary..... I know that when i start breastfeeding in front of my dad (who is very modest, rather conservative but pro-breastfeeding), he kind of misses a beat and forgets what he is saying in an effort to not look. Oops, sorry dad....

    If your husband is that shy about it, rather than get into an argument about it, simply call over to the church tomorrow and ask if there is someplace comfortable where a breastfeeding mom can sit in privacy during mass. I'd be surprised if they weren't willing to help!
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  4. #14
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    infomama is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I am not catholic but I do go to church. With Dd1 I was new to NIP so I sat on a big bench in our women's lounge. It was OK but still a bathroom. Eventually I got more comfortable and moved into the nursery where there was a big recliner. I asked the church to put up these signs http://breastfeeding.blog.motherwear...breastfee.html and they did. They also did a little blurb in the bulletin explaining the sign.
    With Dd2 our nursery was much more active so I moved into a small library. I shut the door and hung a little sign on the knob that said, 'enter quietly, mother nursing'...no one ever bothered me.

  5. #15
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    This is kind of a different viewpoint, but I hope you'll take it to heart. My DS NEVER bf in public. NEVER. I tried and tried in all sorts of quiet, calm places and he was just a super-finicky baby. He wouldn't nurse in our car, parked in the far corner of the parking lot near absolutely noone and no noises, when we went skiing. He wouldn't nurse in the spare rooms at other peoples' houses...even my IL's. He wouldn't nurse in the lockerroom for our swim classes when every other mother had a baby latched on. I (or DH) even had a hard time getting him to take a bottle outside of the house. He would only nurse in his own room, with the lights off...with noone else around or making noise. And would *maybe* tolerate DH sitting there silently as well. People couldn't even walk past his room when I was nursing or he'd pop off.

    My point? If your baby is hungry and grabbing for the breast - capitalize on it! You DO NOT want a child that won't eat (in any format, LOL) outside of their own home. Please take advantage of your child's willingness I cannot tell you how difficult my son's feeding habits made his first 1-1.5 years of life.

    And more on topic, I'm not Catholic, but I have a friend that nurses during the service, in the regular pews. Every Sunday. Noone knows what she's doing (unless they're former bf'ers themselves ) and she never wears a cover. Some women, and babies, are very quiet and get quite good at it. If you're worried, ask your church, but don't be afraid

  6. #16
    JenaW is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    I think you should let your husband read this post. Maybe it will help his discomfort over NIP seeing that it is a common thing.

    I nursed EVERYWHERE, church, restaurants, grocery stores, Lowes, etc. Based on the suggestion here when I was nursing my 1st (about 6 1/2 yrs ago), I practiced in front of a mirror at home a few times to make sure I was totally covered from an onlookers point of view. When you look straight down, you can see your own brea$t and it can be disconcerting thinking that others can see it too. While I always attempted to be discrete, and would not whip it out just for show or because I could, my children would never tolerate a blanket over their heads. I also nurse longer than many think is acceptable, and still nurse my 16mo old in public if she wants to. Moral of the story - you need to find what makes YOU comfortable and try and ignore everyone else. It WILL be very hard for you if you can't NIP, and I think by and large most people are accepting of it. If not, unless you are making a huge display, it is THEIR problem, not yours.

    GL!

  7. #17
    hellokitty is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Another person urging you not to be embarrassed to NIP. Feeding your baby is not only natural but necessary! If anyone gives you a hard time it is THEIR problem, not yours, understand? You are not doing anything wrong. Nurse with or without a cover. My babies HATE getting covered up, so usually, I use a blanket to get latched on and then move the blanket over to the side so it basically just gives me some side coverage and it isn't over the baby's face. I use my coat as a, "pillow" under my arm when I NIP in the winter time, or if I don't have a coat, I cross my leg (not knee to knee, but ankle to knee) and that helps to give extra support under the baby on the side you are nursing if that makes any sense, so the side that you are not nursing on is the side where your foot is on the floor, and the side you are nursing on is where your leg is, "crossed," but only to the ankle, not knee.

    I don't think you even need to go to the crying room to nurse, you can nurse in the pew! I think ppl forget that formula has only been around for so long, ppl used to HAVE to nurse their babies everywhere they went. Somehow our society has decided that bottle feeding is the norm, not BFing, which is twisted, seeing how BFing was how things worked from the beginning of time! You do NOT have to pump milk and feed via a bottle while out. If you do not normally pump, pumping just for church and then trying to get a newborn to take a bottle could screw up your nursing efforts, not to mention, if they were like mine, they totally refused bottles. You may not even get that much, b/c you aren't use to pumping anyway. I tried and tried and tried and just gave up (baby refused bottle), it wasn't worth it and since I was a sahm, I thought about it and decided there really wasn't any particular reason for me to HAVE to pump. If you are wohm, then I could see how you could just pump, but then I would also think it would be important to nurse your baby when you are physically present and able to nurse your baby too. Oh, and trust me. Ppl don't want to hear a baby cry! If nursing your baby fixes the crying issue, I can guarantee that everyone is going to be 100% for that!!! DS1 was 5 mo old when we took a cross country flight and I nursed him frequently. He was the ONLY baby on the entire plane who wasn't screaming his head off, even the flight attendant's noticed that we had the only calm baby. I think everyone around me saw us and gave us the look of dread, but I bet they were sure appreciative that my boob made my baby happy, while other ppl sitting next to babies had to endure hysterics and babies even throwing up from being so upset.

    I really recommend you attend your local La Leche League mtgs for BF support. It helps sooo much. I did not join LLL until DS1 was a yr old and I was pg with DS2 (and freaked out about nursing while pg... which btw is totally fine and normal). I really wish I would have had LLL as a support during those early months to help give me confidence on BF and issues like NIP. I was so nervous about everything and had no guidance from my mil or my own mom about BFing. My mom, esp would make me feel bad about NIP by having other families do stupid things like form a human wall around me if I had to NIP. Go to www.llli.org for your local mtgs.

    PS- I want to give you a big pat on the shoulder for BFing your baby too! You're doing a great job mama!
    Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs

  8. #18
    Roni is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    I was sooo afraid to nurse in church when my dd#1 was a baby, but I got over it. I think the first time I did it I was in the crying room, and I saw someone else nursing. I was so miserable back when I was afraid to do it, and it was so awesome when I got over the discomfort. I had a wonderful Christmas Eve experience, nursing my baby as Silent Night was being sung. As someone else said, Jesus was a breastfed baby. BTW there was a very pro-breastfeeding encyclical that came out (I can't remember if it was from John Paul II or Pope Benedict), so I'm sure you're okay as far as the Catholic Church policy. My state has pro-breastfeeding laws, so it's not an issue.

  9. #19
    mousemom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    I just wanted to encourage you to do whatever you feel comfortable with. My own level of comfort with NIP was pretty low (DS tended to be one to get distracted and pop off frequently, which didn't help), so I only did it a handful of times when there was no other option - really only when in the airport or plane when we were travelling. Otherwise, I was always able to find a somewhat private, quiet place to nurse. Our local mall had a nursing room, other times I nursed in the car or used a dressing room.

    So, if you feel comfortable nursing in the crying room, do it and don't worry about what others may think. As others have pointed out, you really can do it very discreetly so that most people won't even notice what you are doing. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then I would not hesitate to see if there is a more quiet, private place that you could retreat to if needed. Personally, I definitely would not go to the trouble of pumping and bringing a bottle. Oh, and nursing without all the pillows, etc. is a real challenge at the beginnning, but it will get much easier as your child gets a little more head control. Other posters' suggestions about using coats, etc. to prop up the baby are good.
    DS 11/08
    DS2 3/13

  10. #20
    wellyes's Avatar
    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    I've seen women nurse in crying rooms in a Catholic church. Always attempting to be discreet but not always using a cover. No big deal.

    Being a new parent is a hard adjustment and I understand it takes a while to figure out comfort levels. I always used a mother's room or a dept store dressing room when available and convenient. But I encourage you to NIP rather than miss Mass by hiding in the bathroom.
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

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