Update -- success with positive renforcement

[hillview]

DS1 is 4.5 and some of you have been so kind to help me come up with some ways to help him with his anger and some sibling rivalry. We went with a sticker rewards chart -- school days you get a sticker for "respecting others" for positive behavior from the time he gets home from school to dinner; weekends he is eligible for stickers for positive behavior til lunch and another sticker between lunch and dinner. 5 stickers and he gets a toy. He just got his 3rd toy in 2 weeks. It is TOTALLY working. I met with his teachers today and they remarked at the progress he is also making at school (no stickers) but he talked about how he is working to "respect others." It is not perfect but a huge step forward. I feel like we are on the right track.


/hillary

[ShanaMama]

Wow, good for you! DD1 is exactly his age & hitting some behavior snags too. I try to do lots of one on one time to prevent bad behavior, but it's hard to fit in. And she's a master at pushing my buttons!
I'm so glad you found something that works for you.

[Twoboos]

Great news! Good for you all. DD2 is the same age and she is a terror - the word NO from me, or any conflict with her sister, brings major screaming meltdown. Things have to change around here.

[vludmilla]

Yah! I bet you won't even need the chart anymore in no time. Kids often just internalize the motivation to behave in the desired way.

[DrSally]

Great news!!!

The trick will be over the long haul, upping the ante and having a longer interval btwn rewards until they gradually fade out and the behavior is internalized. I know that's a long way off, but something to think about for the future. Congrats, again on the great job!!

[hillview]

The trick will be over the long haul, upping the ante and having a longer interval btwn rewards until they gradually fade out and the behavior is internalized.

Good point and something I've thought some about. Any tips?
Thanks!
/hillary

[DrSally]

Well, I when I used a chart with Pting, I just upped the number of stickers he needed by 1 each time. You can get a feel for when it feels discouraging/too long to wait, etc. and hold the number of stickers steady for awhile if you need to. Also, DS was in charge of putting the sticker on his chart, and at a certain point, he didn't even remember to do it, so I didn't remind him. That would stretch the time out btwn rewards even longer, and at a certain point, it was just natural to drop the chart.