What is Acceptable?

[sectorQ]

Just FYI. This is a shortened version of another post I submitted in the wrong thread. I apologize for the confusion (if any).

I’d like to know what is acceptable as far as my networking/career goes.

I’m a graphic artist/web developer. My wife is in the first trimester and we have a 2yr old daughter.

I currently freelance (i.e. WAHD) and have partnered up with a design agency that gives me work. I live in Florida, the agency is up North. Although things have slowed down and I haven’t worked in a few weeks.

I have a part-time job doing manual labor to get some sort of income during slow times. Once things pick up again with the agency, I’ll go back to working 40-50 hrs a week.

I belong to an illustration collective. We get together once a month (or two) depending on everyone’s schedule. A lot of the illustrators in the group are also dads with kids that range from new borns to 13yr olds.

As a freelancer, I need to go out and network. The more people I meet, the better chances I have of increasing my workload. I want to get to a point where I don’t have to go too long without work.

The illustration group is more of a creative recharge, although we do end up working on projects together. I work on said projects when I have time during the day, or after my wife and daughter are asleep (late nights).

My wife hardly goes out, although she wishes she had more girls night out, but when the opportunity arises she chooses to stay home. I would love for her to go out and enjoy herself because the few times she does, it makes her happy.

I’m home a lot. I like being home, but I also like blowing the stink off. My wife and I do a lot together with our daughter. She works at Disney, so we have free reign of all the parks. Plus with connections to SeaWorld and Universal, we visit those parks as well.

I do the cooking; wash dishes, do laundry; clean litter box, bathrooms, and handy work around the house. Plus I’ll be doing more since my wife is pregnant.

My questions are as follows:

1) Is it acceptable for me to go out and network a couple times a month?

2) Is it acceptable for me to meet up with the illustration group once every month or two?

3) Is it acceptable for me to go to a convention once a year or so?

I appreciate all honest answers.

[BabyMine]

What does your wife think about it?

[edurnemk]

My questions are as follows:

1) Is it acceptable for me to go out and network a couple times a month?

2) Is it acceptable for me to meet up with the illustration group once every month or two?

3) Is it acceptable for me to go to a convention once a year or so?

I appreciate all honest answers.

Totally acceptable by my standards. With my DH, networking happened a lot more often than a couple times a month. Of course he's a consultant and at times I feel like a single mom because of how many hours he works and how much he travels. So to me your plan for outings and travels would be a great improvement from what I'm used to.

Just make sure she has some help when you travel or go out for long periods, i.e. help her arrange for a sitter/cleaning lady/mother's helper/friend to come over... that would be a really nice gesture. And of course talk to her about it, set clear limits, etc.

[sectorQ]

What does your wife think about it?

It depends. For a while she didn't like me going. She used to go with me so she knows what goes on at these events. But I think at times she tolerates it, but would rather me stay home.

[niccig]

What does your wife think about it?

Yes this.
I would ask HER. What I think is acceptable and what she thinks may be totally different. If you have an honest, open dialogue about work commitments, need to recharge for the BOTH of you, and that there is give and take, I think you will be fine.

I will also say that with the difficult economy and work, I am very very lenient with DH's work commitments. I'm a SAHM, even if I was full-time I don't earn enough to pay the bills. We need DH's job. At the moment he is stressed, people are being laid off etc. He is networking more, spending time with colleagues at other companies for dinner/drinks and I am all for that - we may need those contacts if he gets laid off. Your wife may be like me, and she might understand that you need to have contacts to get more work. Talk with her about it.

[BabyMine]

If I remember correctly in you last post you mentioned your home is in mod/forc. Correct me if I'm wrong. What about another job until you get definate work?

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin...=1#post2663637

[sectorQ]

Yes, we are in the middle of a home mod and stopping a foreclosure. To be honest we're not sure which way to go. Either let the house go, and focus on our finances, or fight for it.

Here's an article that explains more: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...144657512.html

Our main mission is to save, save, save.

[edurnemk]

I just read your other post, in the other thread. I wanted to comment about what you said about your DW being alwyas tired and in a bad mood, and the fact that she's 7 weeks prego... I don't know about others, but for me the first 12-14 weeks of pregnancy were terrible in terms of this. I was always very tired and had no desire to socialize, just wasn't myself. So maybe her pregnancy is making these issues worse for her. I had my share of disagreements with DH during that period because of social engagements. But after a while I felt better and things didn't look so grim.

[hillview]

Assuming it is for work what you describe would be okay in my house. But as other posters have said, it depends on what your wife says.

In my house I am out 1-2 times a month late networking with co workers as is DH on different nights.

HTH
/hillary

[sectorQ]

Yeah, I know that she feels bad because of the pregnancy. So I'm trying to be extra nice and helpful to help her.

I'm sorry for not clarifying. There's just so much going on.

Her coming home in a bad mood and tired is something that is normal outside of her being prego. Her job pushes her to the brink of depression. I am so sure if I can get her to leave her job, she would be waaaaay happy. Very happy.