Husbands and In-Laws

[hopeful_mama]

DH's family is in Romania; he calls every Sunday, generally for over an hour, plus holidays, birthdays, etc. If he doesn't have the time, he'll at least call to let them know and try to call during the week. Since we get to see my family more often but his only rarely (only twice in the 9 years I've known him), I try to treat the phone time as sacrosanct, and never suggest he shorten it or call them at another time, even if we're late for somewhere (he will often decide this on his own if necessary).

They rarely call here. Largely this is because it's cheaper for us to call, but also I think they don't want to interrupt things. I rarely speak with them, due to a language barrier. Having said that, MIL did just call this week after seeing reports of all the storm damage on tv; I knew she was asking something about water, but didn't understand what, but I did communicate that I was fine, the baby was sleeping, and DH was at work. We have an easier time communicating in person.

[Indianamom2]

We live about 2 hours away from my in-laws. He talks with his parents at least on a weekly basis, usually more often. They text back and forth and call, both he and his parents doing the initiating.

They are a very close family, however.

[BabyMine]

We live about 8hrs from my IL's. He only calls every once in awhile. He doesn't care for all the drama so he tries to limit contact.

[hellokitty]

I don't nag my DH to call his mother. It's his mom, he should call her. It's not like I expect him to nag ME about calling my mom. MIL went through a period during our first five yrs of marriage of constantly calling him, even several times a day. It got really bad when he was laid off from his job, she would call us 5x a day to ask if he had found a job yet. He finally cracked during that time and told her to stop calling so OFTEN, b/c all it was doing was stressing us out. So, she got angry and hurt and did a 180. Rarely ever called us and went around telling other family members that we told her not to call us! That is NOT what DH said. He told her to stop calling us like 5x a day! I think for normal ppl that 5x a day to ask if you have found a job counts as psycho and it would bug 99% of ppl if their mother did this.

I think now DH talks to his parents at least a few times a mo, she calls at least every other wk that I know of with some medical issue that she thinks is an emergency where she thinks she is going to die or something. I don't know anymore, b/c we got rid of our landline (best thing ever if you have mil issues) and she just calls his phone and I never have to deal with her on the phone anymore. I know that last night he was upstairs on the phone with his mom for an hr, sounding unhappy. He came down and I asked him what happened and he rolled his eyes and sarcastically said his mom thinks she has anthrax. The only time she calls me is if she calls DH's phone and he doesn't answer, and then she calls me to ask if everything is ok, b/c of course in her mind if DH doesn't answer the phone when she calls (even when he is in the middle of a case and can't be on the phone), that means he something awful must have happened to him.

[ged]

I didn't nag him to call at all (they have both since passed away). He called his parents more than I call my parents. I am glad he doesn't nag me to call my parents either. Every now and then he might hint that I should give my folks a call, and I can handle that...and appreciate it, I guess. But, really, I just don't like calling and it's not my thing. My parents and I email back and forth often enough.

[pinkmomagain]

DH's family is in Romania; he calls every Sunday, generally for over an hour, plus holidays, birthdays, etc.

Had to comment that my dad is Romanian (from Sibiu)! We no longer have family in Romania, but would love to see where my dad was born and lived for 30 years or so. The language is difficult (although it is a romance language) so I can imagine how tough it is to communicate with your dh's family.

[pomegranate]

DH doesn't talk to either his mom or dad very much. His parents are divorced. FIL lives about 7 hours away, MIL lives 1.5 hours way. DH talks with FIL about once a year and MIL more now that we have DS, who is 2. Before DS, DH talked to his mom maybe 2-4 times a year. His mom doesn't have anyone else either. She'll call and need someone to talk with and usually chats with me for a while. I have other things to do, so find this kind of annoying. I remind DH that it's his job to talk with his mom, not mine. Anyways, I do drive DS to see his grandma about 4 times a year (without DH) because I want DS to know his grandma.

DS is my one and only. I hope he doesn't grow up to ignore me like his dad does to his mom.

[k_null81]

My MIL and step FIL live about 20 minutes from us. My DH speaks to his mom maybe twice a month and talks to his dad maybe 3-4 times a year and he lives about 40 minutes from us. I think because he was the 1st born for his mom and dad and the fact they were never married and they both married and had kids a couple years after having him makes the relationship what it is. I do mention that he should call every once in awhile but that's only because she complains to my mom that she never hears from us. UGH! She is a very self absorbed person so I can only handle her in small doses.

As for me I live 10 minutes from my mom and dad. I speak to my mom almost daily even if it's just 5 minutes.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Distance doesn't matter. Whether we have lived near or far, dh calls his parents too little for my liking. I think once/ week or every 2 weeks would be nice. I talk to his mom far more often than he does.

I talk to my mom almost daily.

Beth

[maestramommy]

When Dh was single he used to call MIL once a week, just to check in a reassure her that he was alright When he got married she said he didn't need to call so often because now I was taking care of him, so she didn't need to worry anymore

Lately, esp. since we moved here, I think he hasn't been calling her often at all because she will call ME, always when the kids are napping, which is considerate in some ways, but a little annoying in another way. And it's usually because she called him at work and he either didn't answer the phone or told her he'd call her back later because he couldn't talk at the time. The last couple of times she called it was to tell me some health rec she read that he should know about, or to admonish him about safety because he bike commutes! My Dh is one of the most safety conscious people I know, ESPECIALLY about stuff like that. But telling her doesn't seem to matter. She thinks since I am his wife I need to get on him about it, just in case

I love her though, and we have a good relationship, so both of us just kinda roll our eyes and laugh when we reconvene later