Husbands and In-Laws

[crl]

We live on opposite coasts of the US. I have no idea how often he calls because we don't use our landline. Ever. So they talk on his cell, mostly when he's at work (works long hours plus time zone difference). I did ask him to call his parents on Christmas Day the second year we were married--he was stationed overseas and I was there to visit. But when I realized that his parents had not called him once in the 6 months he had been over there, I never asked him to do that again. (They are reasonably well-off so there wasn't a cost barrier to them calling him.)

I talk to my parents (live in the mid-west) once a week. I talk to my brother (lives in the mid-west) once a month or so.

Catherine

[Raidra]

DS is my one and only. I hope he doesn't grow up to ignore me like his dad does to his mom.

This is what worries me, too. I've even wondered if that's the reason why I wanted a bigger family, to make sure at least *one* of my kids will stay close. I'm close with my family (we share a two-family with my parents and 22 year old sister), we see my mom's extended family regularly because they live pretty close. My dad's, not so much, 'cause they all live further away, but we get along great when we can manage a meet up. For the vast majority of my childhood, we've had extended family living with us.. different aunts and their families, grandparents, etc.

My husband's family is just totally different. Not very big, and they don't get together that often. They're all very nice people, I especially like his dad (he's more fun and interesting, whereas his mom has 'aged' prematurely from socializing only with her mother and her mother's friends). His sister is great, and we've gotten along wonderfully with her and her family the few times we've met, but they only talk once a year or so. She's more than 10 years older than he is, so they've never been close.

I guess I'll just have to hope that the sort of family 'style' we create for us will lend itself to our kids keeping in touch a lot.

[caleymama]

We live about 2 hours away from my in-laws. He talks with his parents at least on a weekly basis, usually more often. They text back and forth and call, both he and his parents doing the initiating.

They are a very close family, however.

Except we are 5 hrs from his parents. He texts and talks to his mom, dad, one sister, and brother regularly (at least weekly?) and also sees them all on FB. His other sister he also sees on FB and texts but he doesn't actually talk on the phone to her as often (she's Cali and we're NY).

[Twoboos]

DH's mom lives across the county. He talks to her mostly every day, typically on his drive home from work (on the headset!). He will also do a conference/video call on the weekends so she can talk to DDs. He says this all helps to keep her living on the other coast, LOL!

FIL he talks to oddly - sometimes once a week or every few days, or sometimes not for months. I never nag about this - he can call FIL or not, I don't care (I'm not a fan of FIL's, to put it nicely).

[hillview]

DH's family lives in the UK and he calls his mom every week without fail (nearly). I never nag him and it is not my job but he does it of his own free will.
/hillary

[jgenie]

DH rarely calls his mom - used to be her bday and major holidays only. Since DC arrived he calls about once a month. He rarely talks to his siblings - just bdays and holidays generally. I talk to my mom almost every day and my siblings every other week or so.

[wellyes]

I bug DH to call his mom these days because they are both going through a difficult time (she is recently widowed / he lost his dad) and keeping them close to one another is the best way I know how to help.

Under normal circumstances, no I don't bug him to call more or less. His relationship with his family is his own and I respect that boundary.

[KrisM]

DH talks to his mom once a week. He talks to his brother about every other week. He talks to his sisters (3) maybe twice a year - birthday and Christmas.

[Clarity]

My MIL NEVER calls me- she always calls DH's cell phone or emails him. I've told her a MILLION times that if she wants photos of the kids or of our family, wants birthday or Xmas gift ideas, she should call me, not DH. But she never does. I must be really scary!

This is funny. I'm always practically begging my dh to tell my MIL to STOP asking to talk to me. She's HIS mother, he can talk to her! I am not a fan, not a fan at all. I do email a periodic video or picture to her, but otherwise I'd be happy with only having contact with her when we/she visits. (about 4 times a year)

OP, my dh talks to his mother about once a week, give or take a few days. She used to call every freaking Sunday at 11:00a.m. on.the.dot. but we "encouraged" her to call on other days so that I could stop dreading my Sunday mornings. I guess I'm not a particularly nice DIL.
(In my defense, I am capable of liking a MIL. I LOVED my Xdh's mother and still talk to her periodically 10 years after her son and I divorced.)

[Seitvonzu]

my husband wouldn't even call his parents on holidays if i didn't remind him. he DOES call on their birthdays, and remembers that on his own ( i don't even know their birthdays!!!!!!!!) i do know the months and remind him to get a card- -his mother is SUPER into cards.

in DH's defense, they never call him at all -- not even on his birthday!!! it makes me really irritated and i used to tell him it wasn't right for them not to call, and he needed to call. (i still do this on christmas) the last time i made him call on thanksgiving we found out there was a family dinner we weren't invited to, even though his mother had told his they "weren't doing" thanksgiving. it was super awkward and i don't want DH to have to go through that again (even if he said he wasn't bothered) we live about 6 hours from the inlaws and 14 by car from my parents. dh has 3 siblings too, and i can count on my fingers how many times they've called him (we've been married 7 years in may)-- this is including when we had the baby/announced having the baby.

we used to do a family chat with the inlaws, but we don't do that anymore--it was just to hard for everyone to find the same time they could get online.

i call my parents a couple times a week, sometimes more. it's a weird week when i haven't talked to them at all and usually just as soon as i think "i need to call mommy" she'll call me.