How do you handle when your older DC needs more sleep than your younger DC?

[HIU8]

Mods--you can move to the sleep forum, but I know more traffic is here.

DS is 5. He needs at least 1- 1.5 hours more sleep than DD. Right now DD goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up at 6:30 or 7. If I put her to bed earlier she is up in the middle of the night for several hours or wakes up at 4 am for the day (I mean if I put her to bed at 8 pm or earlier). She no longer naps either. DS, OTOH, refuses to nap and he could use it. He really needs to go to bed between 7:30 and 8 pm. Right now he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9 pm and wakes up by himself sometimes around 6:30--usually closer to 7. Lately he has been sleeping until 7:30. That is the absolute latest I can let him sleep if we want to make it to preschool on time. It would be so much better if DS could be in bed by 8 and DD by 8:30, but so far DS has been resistant. How do I handle getting DS to bed before DD (He normally pitches a fit b/c he feels that DD get to "stay up" later than him)?

[TamiRuns]

We're in a similar situation except younger ds still naps and needs his nap...he could easily stay up an hour (or more) later than big brother (also 5).

No real solution here...we put them both to bed at same time (~7:15)....ds 1 goes right to sleep and ds 2 plays (sings, kicks crib, etc) for 45-60 minutes before falling asleep. I'm actually looking forward to him dropping his nap so they both are on a similar sleep schedule.

Good luck!

[wolverine2]

I put mine to bed at the same time too. Actually, I put DS2 in his crib first and then read a book to DS1 and put him to bed. (They share a room). DS1 falls asleep immediately, and DS2 hangs out in his crib and I put a few toys/book in there and he seems happy enough to just do that for 1/2 hour or so- sometimes longer! If your DD isn't napping though and just needs less sleep, that's a hard one. It sounds like your DS goes to bed too late... he's right though, DD does get to stay up later than him and I could see how he could be upset.

[egoldber]

My kids have never gone to bed or woken up at the same time. When younger DD was in infant/toddler, she went to bed much later than older DD. and woke up earlier. Ugh. But older DD never really said anything about it . I dunno, it's just how it was.

When she got older and dropped her nap, she started going to bed earlier than older DD.

[almostmom]

My kids are exactly the same way. DS is 6.5, and whether he naps or not, he can go to bed at 8:30, sometimes even 8. He sleeps until 7 or 7:30. DD, who is 4, naps some days still, but if she does, she can easily stay up until 9:30 or 10. I usually wake her up at 7:30 to get ready for school. If she doesn't nap, she can go to sleep around 8:30.

On the nights when DS is tired and she isn't, I still put them to sleep in their rooms by 8:30, but I let her keep her light on and play quietly. Their rooms are right next to each other, and the walls are THIN, but DS falls asleep quickly, and once he's in bed, he really wants to sleep, so he doesn't mind if he hears her playing. And her play is pretty quiet - dolls, puzzles, etc. She can do this alone for a long time at night, and she often comes out when she's ready to go to sleep and we tuck her in.

Maybe having a "be in your room" time will help for you?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ds2 has an hour later bedtime than ds1 because ds1 has to be up earlier. It's as simple as that during the school year or anytime there is a wake up time. Some things aren't fair and I guess that's just what I say.

Beth