work options after baby...

[♥ms.pacman♥]

argh, well this week was my first attempt at going back to working from home after DS is born. man, i knew it would be hard, but i didn't know it would be THIS hard. my DS is almost 3 months old, and i figured now was a great time to start since now he naps a good 3-4 hrs during the day, plays on his own for about 1 hr a day, and sleeps about 11 hours at night (awakes once around 4 am for a feeding). i figured since he was a pretty easy baby and i had been working for home at this same pt job for almost a year before he was born, it should be easy. yeah right.

anyway, i don't make enough with this job to really warrant hiring childcare for the time that i am working (the amt of work varies, but it's typically 10 hrs per week or so). we don't have any family in the area that could babysit so that's not an option. my main reason for going back to working from home is that i thought i could just easily do work while he was napping or while he is quietly playing on his own in the same room. i figured it woudl be an easy way to earn some spending cash. well, easier said than done. working is a lot harder when you can typically only work in 45min-1 hour chunks (i am nursing, and now is apparently growth-spurt time). and even for the days that he naps for 3hrs straight, i typically have to use at least some of that time to take a shower, eat lunch, do laundry & other household chores, go to appointments (i'm in physical therapy 2x a week) and/or run errands (my DH, who works from home FT, watches DS when i go out).

also (and this is the main thing that bugs me) is now that i have work to do, i feel like i can't enjoy the time i have with my baby boy.when he is awake i'm always wondering when he will go back to napping so i can get work done..how awful is that! i feel like i should be enjoying the time i have with him now, and it's hard to do that when you are thinking about the work you have to do in the back of your mind...plus i feel like i could probably be better mom to him if i actually can use his naptime to instead do fun things like, i don't know, rest? lol

anyway, i don't know what i should do at this point. i really want to stay at home with DS but i hate how my resume will have a gaping hole showing that i didn't work for X months...that is part of my main motivation for keeping this PT job, so at least it shows that i have been working. in my field (electrical engineering) staying current with the latest technology is very important. if that wasn't an issue, i would be fine with staying at home with DS for the first year (or even 2 years, especially if i had another baby on the way, so i could go back to work after 2nd kid is born & few months old, and not have to worry about working while pregnant, taking maternity leave, etc).

another option is finding a FT job out of the house within the next few months. if i did this, it would almost double our income. but not sure if i'm ready for that yet. it would involve a decent commute for me. plus, not sure i want to deal with being pregnant and/or getting maternity leave after being at a job for less than a year, especially with having another baby already.

anyway, just wondering if anyone out there has some advice, suggestions, etc. sorry for the long post.

[twowhat?]

I couldn't do it. I tried, even had nannies. Didn't work out, way too hard. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you are financially able, ENJOY the time with your baby boy. When you are ready to go back to work, you will find something. Things will always get re-evaluated and things will work out. Staying at home was the best decision I ever made, and though I do consider myself lucky to be returning to work FT soon, I am very very sad about it!! They are only this young once, and you will NEVER regret staying at home. So...my 2 cents is that if you can afford it and would be happy staying at home, DO IT!

eta - having been outta the healthcare/pharma industry for so long, yes I have catching up to do. But it will get done

[AnnieW625]

Can you give yourself a weekend day to get some of the work done until the baby is bit older and has some more of a set schedule? This way your DH and baby could have some bonding time too?

I was only off work for just about 4 mos. post DD and you don't know how many times I wished DD would go and take her nap because I wanted some me time or needed that time to iron the laundry! That's perfectly normal. I wouldn't feel bad about wanting that. I think we'd all be insane if we didn't have thoughts like that.

DH is a mechanical engineer and while he has no interest in going back to school he'd go stir crazy too if he wasn't able to keep up with what was happening in his field on a regular basis if he was a SAHD.

Good luck!

[kozachka]

I would give it some more time. You might be able to settle into a routine with work and taking care of the personal stuff. You also need to decide what's the main reason for you doing PT work now (money or keeping your hand in the industry), if it's the latter maybe outsource some of the chores or get more organized about them. Also think about what happen if you don't work PT from home now. If it means you'd have to go back to working FT in a few months, whether you'd rather do that.

Good luck deciding. I took time off when DS was born, and it was tough to get back into the corporate world. And when I did, I was behind my peers.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

thx for the replies you guys! i am leaning towards just staying at home now and just forgetting pt work. it just doesn't seem worth it for the little extra $$. i think i'd be a lot happier as a SAHM just caring for DS than one with a bit of extra $$ but always struggling to get stuff done.

as for weekends, yeah i suppose i could have DH watch DS while i do work, but i just hate working weekends...i feel like that is the only time we get to spend together as a family and to go out and do stuff with friends etc, so i would hate to sacrifice that part.

also, and this is a big thing...i have a feeling that working from home sans childcare will just get harder as he gets older...sure he may get into more of a schedule, but he will nap less during the day, will become mobile (eek!) and then will REALLY require constant attention, etc. as soon as he's crawling, etc i can see how just being a SAHM (with no extra job) will be hard enough as it is.

about working FT, i guess the one thing i miss about it is the satisfaction of completing a project, etc. i spent a total of SIX years in graduate school to get a PhD, so it just feels weird to spend the day changing dipes and doing laundry, KWIM? also i miss the daily interaction with other adults. but i have gotten it used to it though. internet makes it easier. thank god for Facebook, otherwise it would have seemed i dropped off the face of this earth. lol

[niccig]

I just started a work from home project for my previous employer. DS is 5 year old and now in school 5 days a week. It's taken me several weeks to adjust to working from home. I was stopping work to make phone calls/laundry etc. I've had to set a routine. It's gone out the window this week as DS is on spring break, but I can catch up next week.

When DS was younger I would take once class through our university's extension program. I would study/write papers while he was napping or at night. I did up a weekly routine with all our commitments, and then blocked off chunks of time to get the study done. Once he started preschool at 3 years, then I had those mornings to study.

I've been out of work for 5 years, and it's difficult to get back to work. I'm lucky that my previous employer had a project that they offered me, it's my first paid work since DS was born. It finishes in August though. It's a very difficult time to be applying for jobs, but even more so with a 5 year gap on your resume. If you think you could get into the swing of working part-time using naps/nights/weekends, then I would keep doing it if you do plan to go back to work at some point in the future. Just my $0.02, as 10 hours a week from home would have be a great gig for me when DS was little. But it only works if you can be disciplined with your time when you have a chance to work, and not get stressed when DC don't cooperate. Anytime I had an exam, DS would not nap that day, so I never counted on that last day to study. I'm now looking for part-time work outside of the house, as part-time might be easier to get than full-time, and I can work back up to full-time. And I'll have to take a pay cut - can't go back at the same level I left at. I knew all of this before quitting work, and it wasn't an issue then but now that DH has had some pay cuts and his work is laying people off, well I wished I had kept a toe in the workforce.