would this bother you?

[AnnieW625]

No it would not bother me that much because well DH and I spent the first 5 yrs. of our relationship living in different parts of the state (first for college, then for jobs) and so we learned to trust each other. We've lived in the same household since 3 mos. before we got married 7 yrs. ago. Honestly guys can pick up women anywhere, a lounge watching a game is just as much a pick up spot than going to a club. I love sports and love having conversations with guys about sports. Now would I cheat on my husband with a really cute jock, but no, but I know I would at least enjoy the company. Have you seen Up in the Air? Just a movie, but perfect example you can meet someone and pick them up anywhere. I think you need to be honest with your DH and tell him that it bothers you that he goes to clubs. Honesty sure beats dancing around the issue and if it causes a fight let it cause a fight and then maybe DH will realize that it does bother you.

[lcarlson90]

99% of the time DH travels alone and he does not know people at his destination so that is why he goes alone. When he is with co-workers he goes out as a group. When we travel he likes going to clubs with me too. I really think he just enjoys going out to different bars/clubs. I do trust him. If he wanted to cheat he could do it anywhere. I guess the hard part is getting past the jealousy.

[maestramommy]

Yes, it would bother me a lot. Partly because I would be very resentful of Dh having that kind of fun while I'm at home with the kids. Even if he was working. But partly because to me it's a little weird that a married guy with kids still wants to go clubbing. Alone. Different if he was going with coworkers.

Now Dh used to occasionally go on a climbing trip without me once the kids started coming. That didn't bother me a bit. Because I knew his friends, and knew what he was going to be doing. I'd tease him about staying away from those hot climber chicks (there never were any).

I think if it bothers you, that's enough reason to at least talk to him about it.

[mamicka]

Yes, it would bother me. I used to travel for work, pre-kids. Out to dinner with co-workers seems normal. Drinks at the hotel bar alone or to chat with whomever/watch a game seems normal. Going to a club by oneself doesn't seem normal to me. I don't know your DH personally, obviously. But I've seen a lot of "innocent infidelity" during my travelling career. No way would I be comfortable with DH going to clubs while travelling. Because that in & of itself seems fishy to me. I trust him completely & I'm not insecure in our relationship.

[MelissaTC]

I agree with the others in that I would feel uncomfortable and it does seem strange to me. But I don't have a clubbing kind of DH. He travels and goes to a place like Outback or Chilis near the hotel and catches dinner at the bar. He will usually talk to someone at the bar or the bar tender. A big outing for him would be if there is a casino nearby. When visiting Minnesota, he headed to the casino for some video poker and an all you can eat steak buffet. Otherwise he is room service and ESPN.

[cuca_]

I would find that weird. Sitting in the bar in the hotel watching a ball game is fine, but going clubbing, not so much. But then again, we're old fuddy duddies anyway.

[hillview]

This would be fine once or twice but as a regular thing I would wonder what the heck and not be ok with it. But this is MY DH so YMMV. My DH does hang at the hotel bar when traveling to watch a game etc. That is not an issue with me.
/hillary

[TwinFoxes]

What's the definition of a club? Like a small club/glorified bar with a band? That wouldn't bother me. Some big crazy dance place/pick up joint would bother me. But it wouldn't bother me from a "he's cheating on me" perspective, but it just seems weird to me.

ETA: My DH is in Vegas as we speak for a conference, and I'm not at all worried about what he's doing. If he went to a club it probably wouldn't bother me. But I'd be really distracted by the pigs flying past my window. He's totally anti-social...he's the sit at a bar talking to the bartender reading the newspaper type.

[wellyes]

If my DH was leaving me home alone to go clubbing, that would bother me. But in your situation? No, it would not bother me. He's away from you because he has to be for work. That means many hours free every evening alone. Now if it were me I'd sit around playing solitaire, surfing Wifi, watching HBO. But I'm not extroverted. He obviously thrives on meeting new people and socializing. There really are very few ways to talk to meet strangers and get into actual conversations - bars / clubs fit the bill. If there was some other reasonable outlet for him to be social while alone in a strange city I'd recommend it but there really are very few. Going to a baseball game is the only other one that comes to mind right now.

[pinkmomagain]

He obviously thrives on meeting new people and socializing. There really are very few ways to talk to meet strangers and get into actual conversations - bars / clubs fit the bill. If there was some other reasonable outlet for him to be social while alone in a strange city I'd recommend it but there really are very few. Going to a baseball game is the only other one that comes to mind right now.

Admittedly, I am an introvert so it's hard for me to understand the "need" for someone to go out and meet new people and socialize on a business trip. But that aside, I think there is a difference between say a sports bar and a club. In my mind, a club is a place where there is really loud music playing and people dancing and there is not so much conversation going on. But it's been a looooooooong time since I've been in a club, so maybe my perception is wrong.