things the prego books don't tell you.......

[newg]

I've been laughing at myself all day thinking about the silly stuff I have to remember now that I have a belly...........things those pregnancy books don't tell you!

So please add your own........I can't be the only one!!!

* when I dry off from a shower I have to remember to dry under my belly, because my normal "front-side pat down" stops at my belly button now.

* I have to check my shirt before I leave the house.....lifting up the shirt no less.....to make sure there aren't any hidden surprises in the "blind spot"!!

* if I sit in a deep chair or couch I need help to get out.

* I now need two napkins when I eat..........one for my belly and one for my lap!

uggghhhh........and it's only going to get worse!!!

[SkyrMommy]

* When you're pregnant in the summer... wear sandals & if you have your toes done make sure they're the right color (especially if your DH helps!)

* Turning quickly near the right level tables can sweep things off - with the belly!!!

I like this... reminds me of the funnies of being pregnant!

[sewarsh]

That the "stomach massage" the OB gives you after delivery to rid your body of the after-birth/uterus is NOT what i would classify as a massage.

[ewpmsw]

Seems to be an unwritten rule that maternity undies and materntiy pants/shorts will never be in sync. If one is having a good day and staying up and in place, the other is sliding down.

[boogiemomz]

that you will basically need 3 entire new wardrobes--1) transition clothes for early pregnancy while maternity clothes still look ridiculous but your pre-preg clothes are too tight, 2) maternity clothes, and 3) clothes for the year or so after delivery when your body is pretty much unrecognizable. and start over for next pregnancy, unless the timing (in the calendar year) is almost exactly the same as before!!

[WatchingThemGrow]

If you take Zofran, add colase to the routine also.

[VClute]

If you take Zofran, add colase to the routine also.

I think colace should be a part of ANY pregnant woman's routine - zofran or no.

[AnnieW625]

I think colace should be a part of ANY pregnant woman's routine - zofran or no.

No Zofran here but DH would not agree to me taking colace. I usually have IBS w/constipation soo bad that I have to cut out most wheat out of my diet just so I can be regular. With this pregnancy I have clogged the toilet so many times it's not even funny, and I am still not 100% regular. My IBS is in reverse. It's driving DH nuts.

These are funny. Thanks for sharing.

[fortato]

Cross your legs if you feel a sneeze come on... or if you're going to laugh... or if you're going to cough...or breathe.

Your kids are going to notice the cup of pee that you have ready to take to the doctor, but they won't mention it until they get to preschool...and need to tell everyone during circle time that "Mommy has a cup of pee in her pockybook!"

And.... those preggo farts you had with your first child are much more discreet than the ones you have with your second...because the first child WILL again, tell his class that "Mommy's got a tootie ass".

[newg]

Cross your legs if you feel a sneeze come on... or if you're going to laugh... or if you're going to cough...or breathe.

Your kids are going to notice the cup of pee that you have ready to take to the doctor, but they won't mention it until they get to preschool...and need to tell everyone during circle time that "Mommy has a cup of pee in her pockybook!"

And.... those preggo farts you had with your first child are much more discreet than the ones you have with your second...because the first child WILL again, tell his class that "Mommy's got a tootie ass".