3 year old comfort nursing - want him to wean

[deborah_r]

Help! DS1 stopped BFing pretty easily at age 3. DS2 is being stubborn. I don't think I have any milk, but he still wants "nee-nee". It is uncomfortable and I pretty much hate every second of it. Any tips for weaning? He naps OK at school w/o me, but if I'm around he wants to nurse to sleep. When he knows he's getting his nee-nees he's is so happy and even sits there singing "happy, happy, happy" sometimes while he waits.

[DrSally]

Awww, well if it's miserable for you, it's time to stop. I started reducing feedings sloooowly at about 2 yo, and had to actively wean DS at 3yo. Every child is different, some will just stop on their own, some need more nudging. At 3 yo, I found DS was old enough to talk with about it. We had several discussions up to that point about when he got older, he would prob not want to nurse anymore. He vigorously protested that wouldn't be true. I did finally tell him one day that it was time to stop, and that I would snuggle with him and read instead. So, for awhile in the morning (his nursing time), I would hold him and read to him for as long as he wanted. This helped him a lot with the emotional loss, and it really only took a few days until he was fine with it. You'll get a lot of protesting at first, but as long as you don't go back on what you say and nurse him, he should adapt quickly. FWIW, DS was also nursing with no milk, he just loved nursing so much.

[Katigre]

I would wean in that case or else cut it down to one short session a day and no more than that (depends on how you think he'll do with the process - some kids do better with one session left for them to drop on their own, others do better with mom making a hard and fast decision about weaning and sticking to it).

How to handle it is to talk with him matter of factly and say that once X day comes (pick one on the calendar) that will be the last day for nursing and instead he will get a special toy (or something else he's been wanting that can mark this as a significant milestone).

He will most likely have conflicting feelings about it, be sad at times, ask to nurse again, and even be angry. Parent him through that - reflect his feelings, offer cuddles, redirect him to other activities, and above all appear confident about the change and don't waffle - stick to the weaning that you previously decided on IMO.

[MommyAllison]

With both of mine, I've shortened the amount of time we nurse at bed/naptime, and when we are done, I sit next to them and rub their backs, sing songs, whatever to help them fall asleep the rest of the way. Keep shortening until you are just doing the other soothing activity. I would definitely talk with him about it at other times too. Good luck!

[daphne]

I weaned my dd just 2 wks shy of her 3rd b'day. I started talking about it a few weeks before, then made a chart to count down our last 10 sessions. She knew she'd get a "big girl" prize when she was done. Shockingly, that's all it took. We crossed off the last day, then she didn't ask for it again.

[deborah_r]

Great ideas, thanks so much!

[babybunny]

We planned a half birthday party for my then 3.5 year old. HE got to pick out the Carvel ice cream cake at the store. We called it his BIG boy cake. His teenage cousins came over and helped to sing Happy Birthday to the big boy and eat the cake. After that - NO BOOBIES. He wa a little upset for the first night....a little less upset the next day . After a day or so it was over. Who knew? He picked up a habit of tickling my husband's ears after that.

He is now almost six. I purchased a My Breast Friend pillow for a shower recently. He was inspecting it and asking how it works. He said he remembers nursing at 3, but not at 2, 1 or 0. I had to demonstrate the use of the pillow and how one would nurse an infant. He thought it was funny.

[llama8]

Just stop cold turkey. After 3-4 days of complaining, he will realize you are serious and get over it.