"Relations" with DH?

[PMJ]

There was a post about this in Jan 2010, but could not reply to it since it had been too long.

Just wondering what is considered "too long" to not have relations w/ DH.

It's just embarrassing to admit how long it has been for us. When I ask DH about it, he tells me "We have both been very tired, work keeps me busy, It'll happen".

I don't think about it as much as I used to, but of course it bothers me.

thoughts?

[Corie]

My husband thinks that if we have gone a few days without sex
then he is going to die. Seriously.

I think this is all he thinks about.

[Melaine]

My husband thinks that if we have gone a few days without sex
then he is going to die. Seriously.

I think this is all he thinks about.

My DH thinks once AF is over that it was a tortuously long drought and we have to hop right to it immediately.

[sunshine873]

I don't know what the answer is...I suspect it's different for everyone. I have a friend who's husband expects it every night (he'd be sorely disappointed in this household.) Here...2 times a week is just about right. Unfortunately, since DD was born (over a year ago now) I am still waiting on the return of my sex drive. Where has it gone? Will it ever come back? So it really ends up being once a week or even a little less. Which is sad...and somewhat embarrassing. I feel bad for DH who is trying to hard to be supportive, but is obviously getting really frustrated.

[JoyNChrist]

I think it varies from marriage to marriage, and from time to time within each marriage. When DH and I first got married, every other day was the norm. Now, he starts whining if it's less than once a week, which I consider a practical "goal." So that's what I try for (my sex drive is nonexistent while pregnant).

Luckily my DH is very sensitive and understanding (and it sounds like yours is too). But I do still try to make sex a priority when I can - it is an important part of marriage (moreso to men I think, but I realize that may be a generalization).

[jacksmomtobe]

My husband thinks that if we have gone a few days without sex
then he is going to die. Seriously.

I think this is all he thinks about.

Same thing for my DH. It would be amazing what he could do with all the energy he currently focuses on obsessing about us having sex. Maybe solve World Hunger or create World Peace. :0

[hillview]

Couple times a week if we are both in town. We don't count days so it isn't an issue. I think it is TOTALLY a YMMV situation and as long as you are BOTH okay with it, it isn't an issue. There is not "right" answer if both folks are happy.
/hillary

[doberbrat]

somewere between once a week and once a month here. We're busy, tired, and have opposite schedules.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think it all matters what you are ok with. If you are both ok then that's the right answer. Like Dr. Phil says,
"Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale.""
http://drphil.com/articles/article/26

I get twitchy after 4 days and dh is probably 3 days. We try to go for 3-5 x/ week, that way all is happy.

Beth

[AshleyAnn]

We dont go longer than a week, generally we do it twice a week, except when I was PP (didn't even make it a full 6 weeks and I had an episiodomy and 2 natural tears) and when he's gone with the Army. Hes been gone a month and we're both coming out of our skin but only one more month. Then he's home for 3 weeks then gone for another month. So I should be having another baby in 10 months if the last time he did extened training sets a precedence.