"Relations" with DH?

[catpagmo]

Well, this is embarassing but honest...

I don't think I'm the norm, but we haven't had relations in such a long time. It'll be 2 years in June. DH and I are having a hard time adjusting to two kids, I guess. We are both tired, and I think I had undiagnosed ppd. Also, I was nursing for what felt like all day up until DS was about 12 months old. Now he's only nursing 2 times a day, and my drive is coming back. It's been so long that I can't even remember the last time DH made any kind of advance. We haven't been seeing eye-to eye on lots of things lately, so it will probably be a while longer.

We went for a long time after DD was born also, so I'm sure we'll do it again someday. Honestly, it's not much of a priority for me right now, but I do worry about it from time to time.

[calv]

when AF is present, that's our 'vacation' from each other. sometimes it's enjoyed sometimes the witch can't leave soon enough. LOL.

[Globetrotter]

It'll be 2 years in June

We once went 1.5 years, partly due to pain (for me, intense needle-like pain) and also work stress for him.

You're not the only one and I found my nursing hormones contributed to it, despite trying lubricants, etc... plus I was already tense anticipating the pain! i used to use my birthing from within breathing techniques during our attempts, if you can imagine that, but eventually we just gave up. I was much better after I stopped nursing, sad to say (and I'm a huge BF advocate, so this is hard for to say), plus dd was in the room with us... so many factors!

I was still having pain if we waited for than a few weeks in between times, but then I tried a, um, toy a few times (the one that is named after a cuddly animal with long ears) and that helped a lot. Since then, no pain! I can't believe I just posted that, but it really helped me so why not? I was really getting desperate to solve the problem without medication, but medication is also an option. I only wish I had discovered this earlier..

Things are much better now, but I am finding it's true what the PP said, that it works if both parties are satisfied, whether that's once a month or every day ( to those of you who manage that!). I do believe it's worth doing something about it b/c it is an important part of marriage.

[Globetrotter]

Do you all not do it during AF? We actually do! In fact, during the years when I had intense pain, that was the one time I was relatively okay with it!

[Corie]

Do you all not do it during AF? We actually do!

AF doesn't stop us either.

[Gena]

We practice NFP, so we abstain during the 10-12 days that make up my fertile phase, which comes to about 1/3 of my cycle.

We do not avoid other times of the month.

[Babymakes3]

AF doesn't stop us either.

Hmm...I am wondering about this, how do you not make a mess, lol?!

[maylips]

I will admit that we, too, have gone too long at times, so don't feel alone, OP. Thankfully, I also have a really patient, supportive spouse, but I also have to remind myself that men have needs. I've also dealt with intense pain that eventually led to surgery and there is a ton of mental issues that accompany that. (which is why I'm VERY interested in your long haired buddy, Globetrotter!)

Anyway, what I wanted to post is that I once heard Oprah's sex guru, Dr. Laura Berman, say that couples should never go longer than two weeks without sex.

[PMJ]

Anyway, what I wanted to post is that I once heard Oprah's sex guru, Dr. Laura Berman, say that couples should never go longer than two weeks without sex.

GREAT, WE ARE WAY.......past the two week mark !!!

[smiles33]

GREAT, WE ARE WAY.......past the two week mark !!!

I haven't enjoyed it since DD2 was conceived (she's almost 1 year old). We didn't even try while pregnant as I wasn't in the mood and DH gets skeeved out. We've tried a few times (5 or 6?) since she was born last June but it hurts even with artificial lubrication. I'm also still nursing and plan to do so until June, so I'm hoping it improves dramatically after that. When I'm not nursing/pregnant, it's still 1-2/month at most.

I'm VERY impressed by all of you able to do it more than 1/week. How do you find the energy? Where do you get that kind of sex drive? I want some of whatever you're having!