1x/month is about as good as we do. I've tried to up the number but it keeps on falling back to that level. Early on, my sex drive was much higher, but it plummeted when I went off the pill. DH has a very low drive, so we fell into the 1x/month pattern.
After DS1, sex was very painful - pins and needles, felt like I was tearing back open. I finally went to the OB and she removed some granulation tissue - basically excessive scar tissue from my tear/episiotomy/tear that I was left with after a malpositioned baby/high forceps delivery. I don't remember how long it took to resolve after that, but it did permanently resolve.
Now, the last 9 months, it has only happened 3 times. But there are plenty of other issues going on that makes sex not appealling at all.
Single mom to
DS ("twice exceptional") - September 2002
DS - February 2006
DD - July 2009
DD - July 2009