Went to an interesting lecture that reported on public perceptions of SAHMs

[wellyes]

But by the same token, how do you think BMFL felt when she posted her feelings on "I don't know HOW you stay at home with your kids." only to then have that very statement defended by other posters?
Was that rude of them, knowing she was hurt by the comment and arguing that it must have been meant in a positive way?

I think the reason that post had the response it did was the rest of the anecdote about replying "I don't know how you send your kid to daycare" (something like that.) I can admire an aggressive response when you feel insulted ---- as someone who tends to be too meek in those situations, I do cheer on women who with more spunk than me. But that was a very provocative thing to say so naturally it brought forth more discussion.

I REALLY don't want to pile on any more. I feel like in threads like these, so many of us get very sensitive. I'm glad the mods kept it open so that we get a chance to clarify / discuss. Even if the discussion is not always fruitful, the opportunity to learn from one another is better than not being able to talk at all. I've learned a thing or two, for sure.

Trust me, I have so many opinions that I am trying hard to keep to myself! I keep getting ready to say something, but then I think, "no, that might hurt someone's feelings..." and thus, it is better left unsaid.

Restraint is beautiful, it's a virtue I know I need to be better at!!

[buddyleebaby]

I think the reason that post had the response it did was the rest of the anecdote about replying "I don't know how you send your kid to daycare" (something like that.) I can admire an aggressive response when you feel insulted ---- as someone who tends to be too meek in those situations, I do cheer on women who with more spunk than me. But that was a very provocative thing to say so naturally it brought forth more discussion.

I REALLY don't want to pile on any more. I feel like in threads like these, so many of us get very sensitive. I'm glad the mods kept it open so that we get a chance to clarify / discuss. Even if the discussion is not always fruitful, the opportunity to learn from one another is better than not being able to talk at all. I've learned a thing or two, for sure.

I completely agree, well said.

[mommylamb]

But by the same token, how do you think BMFL felt when she posted her feelings on "I don't know HOW you stay at home with your kids." only to then have that very statement defended by other posters?

And that is why I said that if I heard something like that I would have thought of it in a "wow, what you do is really hard" in a respectful sort of way (kind of like saying to a surgeon, wow I don't think I could do your job), and that I know now that I should never say something like that because it could be taken as a put down when I would never mean it that way. It's a learning experience sometimes reading people's posts. But, in the same way, I would hope that someone who might have retorted "I don't know how you send your kids to daycare" or make comments about DCPs raising a WOHM's child would learn a thing or two about how that would make someone feel and wouldn't say things like that. To me, that's something that is obviously a cruel thing to say.