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  1. #21
    mamica is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Moved back, yes. Successfully, not so much. I'll just leave it at that.

  2. #22
    Ceepa is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by brittone2 View Post
    I wish you the best. I may be visiting the BP more often in coming months
    Same to you. I hope everyone has mellowed. We can hope, right?

  3. #23
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    Well, my family is relatively normal, loving, and helpful. So we moved back in August and I could not be happier I have ready, willing, and able babysitters that I can truly trust. I have been stressed out lately and out of the blue my mom called and offered to take the boys for a sleepover last night and it was heaven. I also hated where we lived before and we had no help.

    I'm not sure I could handle living near DH's family though, but that won't ever happen anyway. It would be a terrible career move for us to go to Canada.
    Mama to my boys (04,07,11)

  4. #24
    brittone2 is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceepa View Post
    Same to you. I hope everyone has mellowed. We can hope, right?
    Oh yes, we can hope. I'm very curious about where things are going for us with the ILs in the next few years!
    Mama to DS-2004
    DD-2006
    and a new addition-ds born march 2010

  5. #25
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    jent is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Kind of. We didn't move, but my mom made good on her threat to move closer to me. She came to visit for what was supposed to be a long weekend, went house hunting & fell in love with a house on the first day, and extended her stay while she met with a realtor and put in a bid. I thought I was going to go crazy, but it has actually turned out well. As DH pointed out, now that she lives within driving distance, at least she doesn't come stay in our house for extended periods of time. She has done backup child care for DD & now we have a standing "date night" when she babysits-- I'm not sure if this is for DH's & my benefit, or my mom and DD's!

    I have to say, DH got the raw end of the deal, though... last summer he got roped into mowing my mom's lawn every week. Complete with bringing our mower there each and every time b/c he is too nice and just told her "it's no big deal" and not to bother buying her own. Fortunately she just got a good deal on a riding mower for this summer, so he's in the clear.
    Jen, mom to "Little Miss Tiny" 4/07

  6. #26
    DebbieJ is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by C99 View Post
    DH and I did it and it's gone very well for the most part. There are certain family members that we avoid or w/ whom we limit our contacts, but it has not been very bad in setting up boundaries.


    After some rocky patches, we have now set some better boundaries for ourselves and things are going well.
    ~ deb
    DS1 Dec 2003
    DS2 Sept 2009

  7. #27
    salsah is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    we live near my parents (always have) and my sister and her family used to live in this area too. my sister moved away and when she came back to visit after several years, it was really difficult for everyone. my sister and her husband forgot how to deal with my parents. unfortunately my parents are not the type that we can successfully set boundaries with. my sister's visit destroyed her relationship with my parents (and worse, it ruined the relationship between my parents and my sister's kids).
    dh and i know how to deal with my parents, actually, we know how to keep the peace -- usually. there are certain things that we don't talk about, things that we don't tell them, things that we ignore, things that we do, all just to keep the peace. so although there is a lot of stress on our end to keep it up, it is better than the stress that would come from the conflict if we didn't do it. we do talk about moving away from them though, to reduce our stress and to limit my mom's influence on the girls.

    anyway, if you decide to move closer, i suggest trying to set boundaries, if possible, and figure out how to keep the peace.

  8. #28
    LexyLou is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    I haven't read the other replies but yes, we just did this.

    We've lived away from family for over 8 years, with 4 of them being clear across the country.

    Yes, our families are totally crazy, lol, and moving back gave me total anxiety but I gotta tell you it's been SOO much better since we've moved back.

    It's put so much less of a strain on our relationships since they can come over for a couple hours at a time vs. staying in our house for 1-2 weeks.

    We had so many bad experiences when our mothers, specifically, would come to visit. Inevitably, the would have some weird temper tantrum and we'd go weeks without talking.

    Now, they girls have such great relationships with our kids and we can now let go some of the things that drove us crazy before because we can leave after a couple of hours and just laugh about it.

    HTH
    Alexis
    DD #1-9/26/05
    DD #2-8/14/07

  9. #29
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Yes, we moved to be near family 3 years ago. We're now all within an hour's radius of each other (the closest is 30 minutes away). Successful? I guess so, given how much we like this area. Frequently maddening? That too. Really nice to have, now that we are expecting an imminent new arrival? Seriously yes. And wonderful for DD to get to grow up with her cousins and get to know her grandparents better than she would have had we lived across the country from them. I think the place makes a big difference - if we were leaving a place we liked for a place that sucked to be close to family, I think we would resent them and regret the decision. Quite the opposite in our case.

    So it's a mixed bag, but overall, we're happy about it. Good luck!

    for Sandy Hook



  10. #30
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    My family are crazy and I don't know if I could live close to my mother again. I have gotten better at setting boundaries. I don't go into detail on things. A simple answer without giving an explanation gives her less room to judge. If you're far enough away, so they don't always know your business, you can get by without telling them about things they don't need to know. If they'll know every single little thing and constantly comment or want you to be at every event, then yes I would have some trouble dealing with them.

    I do see the point about it being easier to deal with people when it's a few hours here and there. My parents last visit was 5 weeks -and it ended very badly. We've since visited them but only for 2 weeks, with lots of activities out of the house.
    Last edited by niccig; 05-01-2010 at 04:04 AM.

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