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  1. #1
    conniez is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default What would you do? DH & wedding dilemma

    As most of you know from my various posts we'll be going to Disneyland from June 18-22. This last minute trip to DL was planned when DH found out he'd be going to E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) from June 15-17. Not only was it his dream to attend E3, but he would also be making valuable contacts since he finally graduated last Aug. w/his BA in 3d/modeling.

    Anyhow we just got an invitation this morning that his cousin will be having his wedding reception on the evening of June 18th (right in the middle of our trip). Now this cousin & his wife have been married for 2 years already! They had a baby so got married before the wife gave birth, but because the wife is the flashy kind she decided to wanted to spend $3000 a table on their wedding reception. DH's cousin could care less about having an "Official wedding gala". But now DH is stressing over it since he says he CAN'T miss it because it's his cousin. They are not particularly close, but DH is the type where he just can't stand for anyone to be mad at him & he really cares what everyone thinks.

    DH is now talking about skipping out on E3 altogether OR driving from LA to SF to attend the wedding on Friday then go back to LA again for a one night wedding reception. That $ could go towards our daughter's vacation in DL. I told him it's not worth it for him to spend half our trip doing that & that I'd rather just go without him or take someone else in his place (we got a promo. on the hotel so everything is pre-paid). I mean, what's the point of him even going if he'll be gone half the trip? What do you think? Am I wrong to feel seriously annoyed? I doubt the cousin's wife would even care since we aren't really close...he!!, we'll be saving them some money, right?
    Last edited by conniez; 05-01-2010 at 06:58 PM.

  2. #2
    m448 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Send a gift, a nice hearty congratulations and enjoy your vacay! Seriously I would have no qualms even IF this were a real wedding with someone close involved to say, "I'm so sorry but we have this trip planned. Besides, who gives 2 months notice to a wedding in the middle of summer?
    Herding my flock of 4 kids, all 12 and under.

  3. #3
    conniez is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by m448 View Post
    Send a gift, a nice hearty congratulations and enjoy your vacay! Seriously I would have no qualms even IF this were a real wedding with someone close involved to say, "I'm so sorry but we have this trip planned. Besides, who gives 2 months notice to a wedding in the middle of summer?
    I told him that I would just tell cousin's wife that he has an expo. to attend & that we're coming with him. This will be DD1's only "fun thing" planned for the whole Summer & DD1's first trip to DL, so I'm really irked right now that he is even considering missing it or ruining it by trekking back & forth.

  4. #4
    JBaxter's Avatar
    JBaxter is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    We would be going on the vacation ... Did I read it right they have been married for 2 yrs already? Yup.. the vacation !
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  5. #5
    conniez is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
    We would be going on the vacation ... Did I read it right they have been married for 2 yrs already? Yup.. the vacation !
    YUP! They have been married for 2 years (they got married at city hall) & they have a 2-year old. If it was ME, I'd be spending that money on my daughter, but apparently cousin's wife loves to be the center of attention & she just loves spending that $. Even DH's cousin admitted to me he didn't really care if they had the "official wedding/reception" where the whole family gets to see them get hitched. Cousin's wife, let's call her "N", apparently wears the pants in the family; last time I saw them, cousin was telling me that "N" wanted a 2nd child, and it was probably going to happen with or without him! lol

  6. #6
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    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    OK I am someone who had a reception after the wedding. In my case it was 2 weeks later because we got married in Jamaica.

    I never ever ever would have DREAMED that anyone would skip out on a family vacation just to go to my reception. No way! It's a fun thing for the couple to do, a way to get family together..... but not an obligation for your DH.

    Send a good-humored congratulations card with a note saying you'd love to attend but have previously scheduled plans for that date. Send a small gift too - maybe a bottle of wine. Then don't think another thing of it.
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

  7. #7
    conniez is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by wellyes View Post
    OK I am someone who had a reception after the wedding. In my case it was 2 weeks later because we got married in Jamaica.

    I never ever ever would have DREAMED that anyone would skip out on a family vacation just to go to my reception. No way! It's a fun thing for the couple to do, a way to get family together..... but not an obligation for your DH.

    Send a good-humored congratulations card with a note saying you'd love to attend but have previously scheduled plans for that date. Send a small gift too - maybe a bottle of wine. Then don't think another thing of it.
    Hello to my doppelganger! Sorry if my initial post came off like I was complaining about people having their receptions after the wedding. I have no problems with it....I think it's just the fact that I know she's spending big bucks just so people can spend a whole day admiring her/dress/makeup, etc. her despite the fact her DH doesn't even want this. She's the type that drops big bucks on Juicy Couture clothing for her infant so people know she's got the $. I mean, if you have it, by all means spend it, but her motivation is so people know they've got the money.

  8. #8
    JBaxter's Avatar
    JBaxter is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I didnt think you came across saying anything about after the wedding receptions.. I had one in Maryland 2 weeks after we got married at DH's grandparents ranch in California. But TWO years? Thats a stretch.
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  9. #9
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    I guess the issue is dh. He really seems to want to go. While I would skip the wedding, I would have a hard time doing it if my dh was really against it. I would reschedule the vacation if he was so, so committed to the wedding. But, I know I would try really hard to convince dh to skip it!! I would suggest inviting the "newlyweds" to a great dinner when you get back into town.

    Beth

  10. #10
    conniez is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
    I didnt think you came across saying anything about after the wedding receptions.. I had one in Maryland 2 weeks after we got married at DH's grandparents ranch in California. But TWO years? Thats a stretch.
    That's good...I didn't want my irritation with DH to be mistaken for disdain w/delayed wedding receptions. I agree...2 years is a bit of a long wait. I guess she wasn't getting enough attention & needed a reason to feel pretty again...so BINGO, let's get married again!

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