For those of you who were around 40 when TTC

[cindys]

I had my 1st baby when I was 29...

I remarried at age 40 and we started trying right away...It took us 4yrs of fertilty treatments and lots of money before we got our little boy..

Because we wanted another and I wasnt getting any younger we started trying again when our little boy was 6mos....we didnt get pregnant again until he was 2 1/2...

As many know fertility treatments are stressful, sometimes painful and expensive....AND the risk of downs and miscarriage is so much higher..

I would not put off trying but I get that men dont really get it...My DH wanted to wait a year before we started trying but I was like NO WAY but we ended up having to have treatments anyways.

It was all worth it though!

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...19, 4 & 19mos

[rgors]

It's not just about financial security. What do you want to be doing in 20 years? From the time you conceive, it's roughly 20 years before the kids would be out of the house and your daily obligations/responsibilities go drastically down. If you have hobbies you plan to pursue, or other plans for retirement, each year that you put off TTC, also means one year less of retirement that you get to enjoy.

[Beth24]

I had my first 3 children at 32, 34 and 37. I am now 44 and pregnant with my 4th. Due July 7. I had no issues getting pregnant with the first 3, but this one took a lot longer and has been a lot more stressful because of all the increased risks that come with what the experts call "advanced maternal age.". I don't feel all that differently physically this time, but I do have gestational diabetes, another age related issue. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you.

Beth
Mom to DS age 12, DD age 7 and DS2 whom we lost almost 2 years ago to brain cancer.

[triple_j]

hhhmmm..

I had my first at 37. Took 8 months to get pregnant, had 2 miscarriages, and then got the 3rd to stick. :-) So, about a year total to get a viable pregancy.

Am now 39. Went off the pill on April 15 thinking it would take a few months to get pregnant and we'd have a nice, late spring or early summer baby. Nope. Got a positive HPT on May 16. Surpise surprise!

I vote with the "go for it" club!

[09Mom]

Found out today AMH was 1.5 which is considered low fertility. UGH.

[chozen]

Found out today AMH was 1.5 which is considered low fertility. UGH.

what is amh?

[dogmom]

OK, I'll be the dissenting voice and say I would wait, and I did wait.

Had my first at 37 after some difficulties conceiving, started infertility workup and got pregnant after the hysterosalpingogram. (happens sometimes) Did not want to try right away for various reasons, including spacing. Also wasn't even sure I wanted to go down the fertility treatment road. I had already decided I would not do IVF. Did clomid/IUI, got pregnant at 40, miscarried at 12 weeks. My doctors were pushing me to start right away with another cycle I told them I was going to wait at least 6mo, which I knew might mean no second kid. Got grief from the docs. Got pregnant on my own unexpectedly and gave birth at 41.

So the real question is, Why does your husband want to wait? Is it just he doesn't want to be rushed? Are there specific reasons? How do you feel about not having a second child? I was OK with. My opinion is having two kids close together is hard on an older body, and hard on a marriage. Other people may not feel that way. You husband may be willing to risk having only one child and not have them close together, you may not. But the two of you are parents, he's not just a sperm donor, so he has a right to contribute to the decision. Or maybe he just thinks you are being overly dramatic. That's a whole other problem that probably should be worked out before getting pregnant.

I realize I'm a odd duck about this. I wanted kids, but I had seen some very terrible outcomes in my career, so I knew what I was willing to do and not willing to do. After 30 fertility declines, after 40 it falls off a cliff.

[09Mom]

DH says he would like to wait because he wants more us time. DD was not a good sleeper so it hasn't been that long that we've been able to feel "normal". I think he doesn't understand decrease in fertility issues. Most of his friend's wives are 5-10 years younger than me.

I do think he as a little bit of "perfect child syndrom" (other than the sleeping issue.) People stop us when we are out to comment on DD, and DD has been ahead of the curve for most developmental milestones. DH's brother has some issues and at 36 does not work and still lives at home, which is a huge emotional strain for his parents. We had discussed the importance of having a sibling. He is 1 of 3 and I am 1 of 4. However, when I discuss that there is a greater chance of issues as I get older I think he has a fair that we could have a similar situation to his brother.