After taking a 2.5 year hiatus, I've finally returned. After six long years, a slew of new medical diagnoses and five losses, we finally made it to the second trimester with a little one. This is our complete miracle baby. I wanted to share a bit of our story.
We began trying to grow our family in 2004. Over the years I would be diagnosed with PCOS (along w/ pre-diabetes, hypertension & high cholesterol), stage 3 endo, blocked fallopian tubes, hypothyroidism, and a rare auto immune disorder that promised a 30-70% miscarriage rate, higher if we pursued ARTs. We even pursued an adoption lead that led to the emom's abortion, devestating us. We did IVF twice and a host of other lower-tech ARTs, losing both babies to m/c. In 2008, I suffered a cornual pregnancy that grew into the interstitial portion of my tube, and it nearly took my life and almost cost me a hysterectomy. A year later, a 3rd IVF cycle got cancelled halfway through due to the fact that the residual mass (remnants) from that cornual pg were still in my upper uterus & tube (we used medicine, not surgery, to resolve the pg). I was scheduled for a very complex surgery at the NIH in Wash DC that fall, but I spontaneously became pg again, only to lose it weeks later. This providentially cancelled the surgery and gave my team of OBs more time to think through a myometrial resection. My RE literally told me it was time to look into adoption again, and that there was nothing more they could do for me. By that fall, I had lost over 70 lbs and was (and still am) in my healthiest shape ever. I began running road races that year, and by the start of 2010, I was training for a 10K. On a trip to San Diego this February, we miraculously and spontaneously conceived this little miracle, and this little one has grown perfectly ever since, defying immense odds along the way. Due to the residual mass, which is still lodged in the myometrial wall of my uterus--although not interfering with growth or health of the baby, I will be delivered by C-section in mid November. The damage and scar tissue is the equivalent of having a mid-line C-section, with a high risk of uterine rupture should I be allowed to labor. My high-risk OB is great, though, and I've received top-notch care and LOTS of ultrasounds!
During this entire time, God has performed so much healing in my heart. I literally felt like a broken woman at the end of her rope, and He just never let go. When I had nothing left to offer--no way I could "fix" the situation or make it better through science or money or research--I placed my emptiness at the hypothetical altar and waited for His perfect timing. It was one of those situations where it could only be a God-thing. And while this pg has been rough in a good way, it's given me this beautiful and intimate relationship w/ my Maker.
This has been a long time coming. I am so incredibly happy.