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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    660

    Default So angry - need to vent about a stupid comment

    At the risk of turning this forum int Pepper's Personal Problems, I need to vent about something a family member said tonight...DH is away for a week on business and family member (FM) called to see how I was doing. FM knows that DS1 is having a really hard time with DS2's arrival and that this week has been particularly tough with Daddy away.

    To paraphrase, FM said that he sympathized with me b/c "it's hard to have patience with kids that are not your biological children. You have more patience with your own kids." (Note:FM is not an adoptive parent, just a bio one. And so has no actual experience on which to base that comment).

    To which I replied, that's bull-poop (except I didn't use the exact word "poop"). They ARE my kids, because I'm raising them. Who else's kids would I be raising??!?

    Sorry for the rant - just feeling deeply disappointed that after almost 4 years and 2 kids, FM is still apparently very clueless about our family. Sadly, FM has a history of saying hurtful things without seeming to realize it...I wish their "filters" were a little more active.

  2. #2
    Minnifer is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default

    Ugh, what an ass. I bet he's basing that brilliant comment on his experiences w/how he feels after hanging around other people's children, which is obviously a completely different situation. I can't believe he actually implied that your kids are not your kids - OF COURSE they are, whether or not they are genetically related to you. It never ceases to amaze me how clueless, and insensitive, people can be...
    Lucky single mama to DD 5/08 and DS 6/11

  3. #3
    swrc00 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    How rude! Why can't people just keep their thoughts to themselves. I know how tough it is to be home with one while DH is away. I can't imagine two and then having someone calling you to check in and say that. I hope your day is better tomorrow.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    California
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    Default

    Well, some people are just stupid, aren't they? Sorry you were the recipient of that particular bit of idiocy.

    Catherine

  5. #5
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Oct 2003
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    Oh, what a jacka$$. Seriously, what would make a person even THINK that that could be accurate?

    I am an adoptee, not an adoptive parent but hell, I take offense to that statement!

    Good for you for defending yourself to the know-it-all idiot.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #6
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default

    Oy vey.

    Great job on the come back!
    lucky single mom to 20 yr old dd and 17 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

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