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Thread: Anxious DHs?

  1. #1
    sste is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default Anxious DHs?

    Anyone here with DHs that are a wreck during pregnancy? My DH is having a tough time - - this is #2 and he won't let me lift anything, insists I sleep in every morning, worries constantly, is always trying to drop me off at work or shoving cab fare at me. In many ways this is great and a huge reversal from dh's pre-pregnancy workaholic mindset but the poor man is wearing himself to a frazzle. During my first pregnancy the anxiety was so bad for him that he found it difficult to be around me (which actually caused alot of tension and I much prefer his approach this time around).

    Anyway, anything you have found to calm the anxious dh? My husband works in health care and has actually "delivered" a couple of babies during his training so for him it is not lack of education.
    ds 2007
    dd 2010
    baby dd 2014

  2. #2
    swissair81 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    That's actually unusual. Usually after number one, many dh's are completely indifferent. My dh was rather scared when I had complications, but otherwise he'd like the house to be operating on schedule.

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    sste is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Swissair, I think it is unusual - - some of it is very sweet and is occuring because DH knows I have a tough time emotionally with pregnancy, but MUCH of it is the product of an overpowering, irrational anxiety. DH is not a generally anxious person but for some reason major, major triggers for him are anxiety over me when pregnant and also he is beside himself during the infant and even early toddler period fretting about the new baby.

    I am going to start slipping xanax in his cheerios if this keeps up (kidding, kidding!).
    ds 2007
    dd 2010
    baby dd 2014

  4. #4
    brgnmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by sste View Post
    Anyone here with DHs that are a wreck during pregnancy? My DH is having a tough time - - this is #2 and he won't let me lift anything, insists I sleep in every morning, worries constantly, is always trying to drop me off at work or shoving cab fare at me. In many ways this is great and a huge reversal from dh's pre-pregnancy workaholic mindset but the poor man is wearing himself to a frazzle. During my first pregnancy the anxiety was so bad for him that he found it difficult to be around me (which actually caused alot of tension and I much prefer his approach this time around).

    Anyway, anything you have found to calm the anxious dh? My husband works in health care and has actually "delivered" a couple of babies during his training so for him it is not lack of education.
    my DH also works in health care and just started his fellowship. We are expecting our second child as well. Initially, very early on in my pregnancy, he expected me to do my usual work load around our home, but during my second trimester, maybe because I'm showing, he has insisted on doing a lot more -- like bringing the stroller out to the car and lifting it into the trunk, so that I don't have to do any lifting. He has also taken on grocery shopping at Costco's. I don't see it as a sign that my DH is anxious, but more protective of me during this time.

    I can't really offer much advice on how to calm an anxious DH -- I do think it's great how your DH is more concerned with your well-being and your baby's. I usually encourage my DH to play his PS3 video games, if he needs another outlet.

  5. #5
    swissair81 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Funny, in my house, I'm the one with the health care background. Whenever I try to point certain things out, my dh calls me paranoid.

  6. #6
    newg is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My DH is an anxious one too. It doesn't help that DD1 came early either. He has a hard time I think mostly because he can't see her. So I am trying to let him feel her as much as possible because I think that helps reasure him a bit.

    DD1 2/08
    DD2 8/10

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    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I don't have any btdt, but have you tried asking him about his anxiety? Would he be open to some type of help whether it be medication (I know, I know, a dr. never wants to be the patient, but maybe.....) or cbt? Out of control anxiety is simply horrible.
    K

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