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  1. #1
    ewpmsw is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default What is your plan for this?

    Wondering if other couples have a plan in place when it becomes clear labor has started and it's time to let Dad know. I'm nesting and super planny right now, so getting this resolved and checked off the list seems like a big deal. Since we'll have to make arrangements for DD #1's care, etc., I feel like he needs to know pretty early on that the baby has finally decided to get the ball rolling.

    Tonight, he asked me, "If you text me that you're going into labor, is it okay if it takes, like, an hour for me to get back to you?" Well... No, DH. Since you don't want me to call you, and you may not have your computer to check email and will be otherwise unreachable, I think making the effort to briefly respond to the text in some way would be appropriate.

    He doesn't want to be rude and interrupt a meeting to see what's what when he learns I'm in labor. He does not have the kind of job where this would be a big deal. In fact, he says that people surf the web, play games, buy concert tickets, etc. during meetings every day. So... he can't glance at the text and excuse himself for a few minutes? The people looking at personal Facebook stuff while discussing credit card marketing strategies might get miffed? I'm all for professional behavior during meetings and don't like to bug him at work with texts, calls or emails, but I think an "I'm in labor" text deserves higher priority than waiting an hour to respond.

  2. #2
    HonoluluMom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    My plan was to call the Dad-to-be on his cell phone. He knew that if he saw my number, he was supposed to answer ASAP. If he absolutely couldn't answer my call, the backup plan was that I would call my sister and she would help me and at the same time she would try to get in touch with the Dad-to-be.

    I think for your DH, based on what you said, I'm more than willing to bet that they'll be fine with him responding to your text. In fact, if he doesn't answer your text, you should call his office's main number and have someone pull him out of the meeting. I bet everyone in the meeting will be happy to hear you're in labor and will chase him out of the office!

  3. #3
    swissair81 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    My DH knows by now that he either has to have his phone free or check his blackberry messenger. I am under strict instructions to come in as soon as I think I'm in labor. In fact, last time I almost got induced because my doctor was afraid I wouldn't make it in. If my dh procrastinated like that, I'd either have the baby at home by myself or I'd be calling an ambulance.

    ETA- my parents live about 2 minutes from my house. If my dh couldn't get there in time, my mom or sister would round up the kids & drop me at the hospital.
    Last edited by swissair81; 07-28-2010 at 10:02 PM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by HonoluluMom View Post
    I think for your DH, based on what you said, I'm more than willing to bet that they'll be fine with him responding to your text. In fact, if he doesn't answer your text, you should call his office's main number and have someone pull him out of the meeting. I bet everyone in the meeting will be happy to hear you're in labor and will chase him out of the office!


    Our plan is for me to call DH at work...he is military and isn't allowed to take a cell phone in to work. So I'll call his office. If he isn't in, the guys in his office usually answer his phone. So, I'll tell one of them what's going on and they will go hunt him down so he can get home ASAP. We have to get someone to take care of DD too. Our closest family is my MIL/FIL and they are 2 hours away. So, if we have to, I'll call the neighbor to take care of her until my in-laws can get here. This is *if* baby comes before my mom gets here a week before I'm due.

  5. #5
    sste is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Well, after LONG practice of tracking down my DH, I attempt contact in the order listed below:

    1. cell phone
    2. pager
    3. pager with our special numerical code for family emergencies
    4. calling his departmental secretary
    5. locating him via hospital overhead page
    6. calling our doula who we hired in small part because of my insecurity that DH will himself be involved in a medical emergency and I will be panicked and alone
    7. paging my ob (I have her direct pager)

    I will say that my DH, who can be very rigid about not interrupting his work schedule, was at our house for pregnancy #1 ten minutes after I phoned him about my water breaking . . . and his commute is usually 20-25 minutes.

    For childcare, I have already created a document with three different options in order of preference (we lined up three childcare options because no one could absolutely commit to any/day time across a five week possible delivery window). I, DH, and our doula all have copies of the childcare list and also other vital numbers and info (ob pager, pediatrician phone number, etc).
    Last edited by sste; 07-28-2010 at 11:30 PM.
    ds 2007
    dd 2010
    baby dd 2014

  6. #6
    wellyes's Avatar
    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    My first labor was pretty standard, 16 hours or so.

    My second labor I went from "hmmmm that might be a contraction" to 3 min apart, nearly fully dilated in a little over 1.5 hours. And had the baby about an hour after that.

    For childcare, we were lucky, DD was in daycare through the whole thing & there was plenty of time for MIL to go pick her up. We'd lined up some neighbors to take her in case labor started before family could get there.

    The majority of my labor was spent in a car in traffic, which SUCKED. But I think it'd be even worse to spend your labor waiting for your DH to get back to you, especially since he's probably your ride to the hospital.

    In short, your DH is nuts. Labor is unpredictable and 2nd/3rd labors can be FAST. He needs to be on-call full time from 37 weeks onwards.
    Last edited by wellyes; 07-28-2010 at 11:32 PM.
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

  7. #7
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    We made an agreement. I would only text or call him if it was the real deal, and he would always take my call/text immediately. He also gave me the phone numbers of his co-workers just in case he was away from his phone so that they could get him immediately. He communicated in advance with his boss, so that they understood that he might need to run at any time.

    In the end, this didn't end up mattering, since we went to the hospital at 6am on a weekend. For some reason, everyone I know went into labor in the middle of the night/early morning, so it was more convenient.

  8. #8
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    I don't have a plan, but I know that when I'm in my last month, he's going to be responding to phone calls and texts pretty quickly! I was lucky that he was with me the other two times.
    Boy (4/03) -- Girl (12/05) -- Boy (11/10)

  9. #9
    ewpmsw is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by sste View Post
    For childcare, I have already created a document with three different options in order of preference (we lined up three childcare options because no one could absolutely commit to any/day time across a five week possible delivery window). I, DH, and our doula all have copies of the childcare list and also other vital numbers and info (ob pager, pediatrician phone number, etc).
    This is a great idea! Adding it to the to-do list...

  10. #10
    elektra's Avatar
    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    It sounds like he needs to nut up and check his frickin texts!
    From your description, I have a job similar to your DH's and it would be no big deal at all to check a text.
    If he is the one presenting in a meeting, I can see how he may need 30+ minutes to an hour to finish speaking and get to his phone.
    But seriously, from the President on down to the intern, I think you are off the hook if your wife is going to go into labor any day, when it comes to checking your phone more often than usual.
    DD - 9
    DS - 7

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