do i need a doula?

[citymama]

You'll get many different replies to that question, as you already can tell! So I can just speak from my personal experience.

I had a doula with DD2, which was a VBAC, drug-free delivery (which was what I wanted). Hiring the right doula, and having her at the birth and during the labor at home went a long, long way towards my having a successful VBAC the way I wanted to. Her experience and personality were a big. big help. IMO, delivering in a VBAC friendly hospital with a VBAC friendly midwife attending also made a big difference.

I didn't even think I needed a doula with the first baby - didn't really know what they were. I thought they were kind of peripheral ladies in waiting! I also thought that having a midwife would somehow automatically mean I would be able to have the kind of natural childbirth experience I wanted. Wrong. In hindsight, it's possible that having a doula like the person who I worked with for DD2's birth would have prevented my c-section (which was partly precipitated by positional issues, partly by a reaction to an epidural I never wanted). Or maybe I'd have needed a c/s anyway - hard to tell. I did work with a midwife practice with a very low c/s rate, but I still didn't have the hands-on support I sought through the labor, and that my doula provided the second time around.

I will say that the key to a good doula is finding someone with experience and skills. In my case, I think had my doula with the second baby been present at the first, she might have helped with positional issues that my midwife wasn't able to address. And she certainly would have helped me go on longer without the epidural. So if you do hire a doula, pay the extra dollar to get someone really highly recommended and experienced, and whose personality clicks with yours. I also talked to my docs about her, and they referred to her as the "gold standard in doulas" - which was a big relief, because I wasn't hiring a doula to protect me from my doc/midwife, but to work with them and me as a team.

All the best, and congrats on the upcoming baby - and on asking the right questions early on!

[Uno-Mom]

Didn't read all the posts, maybe somebody already said this ... I got a doula mostly for my husband! I knew he would be my 100% support but I also knew he would need support. She was great. It was good to have someone with us the whole time who was a hospital and birth "insider."

My labor was really long and we had complications. That meant I had to make some tough choices - it helped a lot to have a neutral but informed helper. But we were careful to find somebody who wasn't a rabid anti-intervention type. She was open-minded.

My hospital has midwives (w/one doc around as well) but they worked shifts and weren't able to give me any more consistant support than a doc would have. They were lovely, but not that consistant support that some people seem to get from their midwives. I was super-lucky though - the midwife who I visited all through my pregnancy came on shift 30 minutes before my daughter was born! That was a gift.

[essnce629]

I am a doula, and if I wanted a natural birth in a hospital I would for sure, 100%, no question about it, hire a doula. ESPECIALLY if I was a first-time mom. Especially since it takes a lot of pressure off of dad.

I did not have a doula at either of my births but that is because I had two homebirths and knew I would have my midwives at my side the entire time, so there wouldn't really be as big of a need for a doula.

If you cannot afford the doula fees in your area, contact a doula trainer in your area by searching the DONA (Doulas of North America) website. The doula trainers have a list of all the new doulas that have recently been trained and are in the process of receiving their certification. These new doulas, who may even have some experience, usually charge a lot less. I'm in Los Angeles and the doula fees out here start at $1000 and up! My friend from college was pregnant and asked if I could be her doula, but I had to say no since DS2 is still too young for me to be gone for long periods. She and her husband could not afford $1000+ so I told her to contact the doula trainers and she was able to find and interview 2 doulas-- one that charged $250 and one that charged $400. One was also a massage therapist and the other one was also an accupuncturist! She interviewed both and picked the $400 one. She was very happy!

Here's the link to find a doula trainer in your area. Select "for Birth Doulas" and then enter your state and click "Go." The next page will list the doula trainers and their contact info. Contact the trainers in your area and tell them you would like a list of the newly trained doulas who are willing to work for a lower fee. Hope this help!

http://www.dona.org/develop/find_a_workshop.php

[brittone2]

I had a doula for my first birth 6.5 years ago. She was fairly affordable, and I wanted to do everything I could to "stack the deck" in favor of an unmedicated delivery. I knew very few people who had gone unmedicated (my mom did, but most of my family had gone w/ epidurals, and we were among the first of our friends to have a baby). I used Hypnobirthing the first time around and ended up feeling very comfy during labor and not really "needing" the doula all that much. But she was great about reminding me to stay hydrated, and she basically stayed out of the way since I was feeling fine. The only time I was really uncomfy during most of that labor was when hooked up to the intermittent EFM. The doula played the "bad guy" role by nicely pressing my nurse to figure out how to hook me up to the EFM so I could be on hands and knees in the bed, or on the birthing ball, etc. as sitting in bed was very uncomfortable. It was nice to have her take on that role and not have to worry about DH or I dealing with that part. She was polite and nice about it...the nurse wasn't happy but it was totally doable with just a little more work on her part.

Our doula also was worth her weight in gold during transition. That was the only part of that labor that was really, really intense for me. When my legs got shaky she knew just the right type of touch to use, kwim? DH would have been kinda clueless at that point.

She also was a photojournalistic photographer on the side and got some amazing shots of DS as a newborn (at my request in advance).

I didn't have a doula for my last 2 births, but worked with midwives that were more supportive/present than my CNM that I used with DS1. THe first birth (with the doula) was in a hospital. The 2nd birth was in a freestanding birth center (different state) so also a different setting. DS2 was born at home, and I never missed having a doula in that setting. But yeah, in a hospital, I was glad to have one.

I don't think they are a necessity, but I think they can help stack the deck in your favor if you feel strongly about going unmedicated or don't feel confident you'll have good labor support from your partner.

[Uno-Mom]

If you cannot afford the doula fees in your area, contact a doula trainer in your area by searching the DONA (Doulas of North America) website.

That's kind of what we did. We didn't go to DONA, but our doula was my friend's business partner. She was finishing up her certification process which required a certain number of births. Even though she was "in training" she had plenty of experience - she had attended many births but most of them were before she started the official certification process. It worked great & we actually paid her more than what she asked because the time a doula puts in is a LOT.

[avalonmom]

Thanks to everyone who posted! I really appreciate all the different points of view on this issue. My yoga teacher happens to be a doula and she recommended I start by asking my OB if he works with them and if he recommends any. I do not have female support so the idea of having a doula is definitely something I will start investigating. I did order The Birth Partner and The Birth Book per someone's instructions and hopefully those will help as well. I am quite nervous about the birth process, not very good with pain, and not so sure if DH can really handle all my stresses and fears so again thank you all for your thoughts on this issue. It's definitely one I'm investigating as an older first time nervous mom.

[Uno-Mom]

Good luck with your decision. It sounds like a doula might be really helpful to you for the same reasons mine was a blessing to me (I posted details above). Especially since you mention you're an older mom and I'm guessing you bring that up b/cause you feel you might have things a little more complicated. (Which probably isn't true, but I totally understand the worrying!)

I didn't expect anything complicated but was suprised by meconium-stained fluid when my water broke - that got the midwives to keep suggesting interventions to me. I was so grateful for an informed, neutral party who could helped me weigh my options. Everything was totally fine in the end, by the way. I did eventually accept some interventions but those were fine, too. But it sure reduced the stress to have our doula to support both me and my husband! Her presence even allowed him to get some sleep, which we were very grateful for.

[essnce629]

You can always interview a few doulas and see what you think. After meeting them, if you have a strong connection to any of them you can think about hiring one. Interviews are always free. Just think of a list of questions to ask her. Your DH should have some too.

[PGTB]

My yoga teacher happens to be a doula and she recommended I start by asking my OB if he works with them and if he recommends any.

I think this is a great advice to ask your OBGYN, most importantly just to figure out what your OB thinks about the concept of hiring a doula and how he works with the doulas. Not every OBGYN is thrilled to work with a doula, so if it's important for you that your OBGYN thinks positively about doulas then you better ask.

I happen to have a friend who is OBGYN and asked her about doulas since I considered one for myself. Because she wasn't my doctor, she was completely honest. She said doulas can be an annoying interference to OBGYN to do her job because they don't have formal medical training and they are not actually authorized to make serious medical decisions for a patient, but because they can influence patient's decisions it's often making OBGYN's work more difficult. She recommended I hire a midwife instead because midwives have formal medical training, will stay with you the entire time and can actually deliver the baby as long as it's not a complicated delivery or c-section, she thought midwives are a better value and she said that she has much better relationship with midwives than with doulas.

My OBGYN of course was much more PC about her opinion about doulas, she said, it's up to me if I want one, and she personally recommended I get a post-partum doula. She sort of hinted, hey, birth doula is not necessary, save your money and get a post-partum doula instead, much better value.

My impression after all this was that OBGYNs are doctors who are responsible for you from medical perspective and are liable to do everything they have to in their power to make sure things go smoothly and they don't like interference on part of those who do not have formal medical training and won't bear the liability if something goes wrong. (you won't be suing your doula if you make a decision that is wrong for you based on her suggestion, but will be suing the doctor or hospital if things go wrong).

Basically, ask your OBGYN what he thinks, if his reaction towards doulas is not very positive, it's up to you if you are comfortable with pursuing getting a doula and if he has a great relationship with doulas and recommends one, then it's great!

You also need to evaluate your personal needs for what you want doula to do for you. Do you just need personal comfort from a woman who had seen lots of births? Do you need assistance in making medical decisions? Are you very serious about natural birth and want someone to help you avoid pain meds? Then you need to look for the right person who would be completely on the same page with you, especially regarding pain control because your decision before giving birth may not the the same when you are in extreme pain and are told you have another 8 hours of it ahead of your like I did with Pitocin contractions. I had 3 nurses change shifts during my labor and one of them was sort of like an all-natural doula, she birthed her own 4 kids naturally and was not a fan of epidural, honestly, she made me feel inferior and her presence annoyed me when I was in pain, especially since I intended to have natural birth, but knew that I would fail at it. So, choose your doula carefully and make sure she won't be in any way judgmental of you when the most difficult time comes and you already have so much to deal with.

I am quite nervous about the birth process, not very good with pain, and not so sure if DH can really handle all my stresses and fears so again thank you all for your thoughts on this issue. It's definitely one I'm investigating as an older first time nervous mom.

I was very scared too and my DH told me this. He said, look, you are going to be done with it and then it's over. No need to stress out about it, they will take the baby out one way or another. The most important thing is that baby and yourself are ok, no matter how he comes out to be and no matter if you have to have drugs or be induced or even get a c-section.

I do recommend getting a post-partum doula - I really wish I had one, I missed female support the most when my baby was born.