So, my libido has been missing for a long time. And I would so love to find it, or at least believe I will someday. It was so fun when I was younger to crave sex (wasn't it?). I miss that feeling, and Gossip Girl just isn't enough, at least for DH.
I have sex regularly with DH, like once or twice a week. And it's usually pretty good. I also have a toy or two that I use both with him and without. And that's good too. But I never actually crave or desire sex with DH. He's a super handsome great guy who I totally love, in decent shape, and otherwise our marriage and communication is great.
I used to have a very strong libido when I was in my early 20's and younger, but it's probably been gone for ten years or something (I'm almost 37). I think sex is really important in a relationship, and DH has a high libido, so I am more than willing to make it happen. I would feel really bad emotionally if it didn't. But physically I think I'd be fine without it. I usually would rather sleep, watch tv, snuggle, read, almost anything, if given the choice. Again, once we're into it, it's almost always good. Occasionally even great. But DH wants to feel wanted more than he does - that's what he told me last night. And I know this - we've talked about it before. He knows I wish I had a bigger sex drive. He said I make him feel loved and handsome, but he wants to be wanted. This is not threatening our marriage. But I want to find those feelings again too. I can fake the desire, but I wish I didn't have to. After our conversation last night, I'll initiate more, but after a while, I know I'll forget again, and it will fall on him and he'll feel bad again.
I had a physical in the spring, and had blood tests to see if there was anything chemical, and everything is totally normal. It's not like I can't do it, and I even have orgasms regularly both with and without him. But I just wonder if I need to be resigned to the fact that I'm older than I was, and my hormones aren't running wild anymore. I kind of wish there was a viagra for women...
I know this probably sound more normal than a lot of parents' sex lives. But, again, the desire for it just is so rarely there it doesn't seem right to me.
Thanks ya'll.