Has anyone re-found their missing libido? careful, maybe TMI...

[Andi98989]

I went off chemical birth control just on a hunch, and guess what? We're like newlyweds again . That was 8 years ago, and theres no comparison with how I feel now compared to all the years I was on the pill, Norplant, Depro-provera shot, patch, IUD. Yep, I tried them all. I had no idea during that time that it was causing the death of my libido. I had other issues that bugged me that I was trying to escape. Now we use natural-family planning combined with barrier methods during any fertile days. No unplanned pregnancies so far!

I haven't gone back on BC since having DS and my libido has been great! I'm like a whole new person. Even the anti-depressant hasn't caused an issue with it. We don't use NFP, but we do use barrier method.

ETA: DH used to be very anti-condoms, but once he knew that my sex drive was back without BC, he said that he would willingly use them instead of having me go back on BC.

[MontrealMum]

Just an FYI...when I talk about loss of libido, I don't mean having less amazing O's. I mean I did not, under any circumstance, want to have sex. Period. I would have felt like I was having sex against my own will; that's how turned off I was by the idea. That's what hormonal based bc did to me.

Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about too. We're using a barrier method right now and it seems to be fine...I'll NEVER go back on any type of hormonal based bc.

[edurnemk]

Just an FYI...when I talk about loss of libido, I don't mean having less amazing O's. I mean I did not, under any circumstance, want to have sex. Period. I would have felt like I was having sex against my own will; that's how turned off I was by the idea. That's what hormonal based bc did to me.

Yep, this is me, too. Before DS I was on the pill for a while, and when I switched to NFP my libido came back. But after DS was born, it never came back, and I've been off BCP for 3 months now (I hate the BCP but used it again at DH's request, he was in grad school, then unemployed and didn't want to take any chances).

[blondflava]

Same here -sigh-... Since DD was born, even earlier than that as the pregnancy was complicated and we were scared to do anything , but after DD came, ugh forget it... All the stress of having a preemie, hormonal changes, depression (and the anti-depressants) didn't help. I'm not taking antidepressants anymore but libido is not back, things are still stressful with DD (now we have serious feeding issues and it's been taking a huge toll on me). Last time we had sex, whew, can't even remember...2 months or so ago? Things are not too good between DH and I recently .

[almostmom]

Thank you again to everyone for sharing so openly about this. I really was truly looking for advice, but I'm not sure I expected to receive concrete suggestions, and so many of them, along with so much support.

I'm going to make an appointment with my obgyn today, and look into getting the Mirena out, and maybe trying the paraguard. I haven't wanted to go back to periods and cramps and all, but I think I need to at least try it. Mirena has always made me a little crampy and bloated, I think, so this is the final straw that will let me try something else. I'll post back again about this after a few months - hopefully with good news!

BBB is the best - what an amazing community of real people, real moms, sharing their real experiences, respectfully. Thank you.

[tiapam]

For the OP and anyone else who has had blood tests, etc, and everything is "normal",
I would not take the doctor's word for that. Especially regarding thyroid tests. The thyroid can absolutely affect your libido and do not believe anyone who tells you it cannot. IMO, the thyroid is something that *many* doctors (including endocrinologists) know very little about. Normal is different for everyone when it comes to the thyroid. You should ask for your actual test results (hopefully you got more than a TSH test) and research them for yourself. And if those tests were more than six (three?) months ago they should be redone.

There are lots of good books on the thryoid now and tons of info on the Internet. The Thyroid Solution by Ridha Arem is a good book to start with. IIRC it addresses libido quite a bit.

If a man went into the doctor for this (probably pretty rare considering men don't go to the doc as often and many might have trouble bringing this up to the doc) do you think they would tell him he must be too tired to have sex? I doubt it, but that is what I was told. I have also had docs brush it off, as if I was just reporting it and didn't want them to actually treat it. Too tired is relative, I think you can fool yourself into thinking that is the problem, but remember when you were younger and went out all night and were not too tired then!!?? If the desire is there, you will overcome normal tiredness. Fatigue is a symptom of thyroid issues, and that is another kind of tired than just your everyday variety. So maybe you are too tired but that is actually a symptom of illness.

I have a thyroid condition. I made three changes about a month ago. Changed from synthetic to natural thyroid Rx (I think the dosage was increased too), started Melaine's cold water therapy (I am not doing it in a very extreme way), and drinking more water. MIA libido came back the day OP posted this. My guess is the Rx change did it. I feel like I woke up in a new body, but it is kind of familiar because of course it is more like my old body, before I lost my libido. Unfortunately, a couple days later, I can recognize that I am a little hyperthyroid, which is not ideal either. It will probably take a lot of tweaking. But I would rather be a little hyper than a little hypo. Interestingly, when I was pregnant I was told it is better for the baby if I am normal or a little hyper (it can be hard to get just right esp while pregnant). So docs can acknowledge that for the baby it is okay to be hyper but don't seem to think a non pregnant lady might feel better that way.

A couple more things just to make everyone here think hard about their thyroid:

-I think every single lay article I have read about the thyroid starts out by saying that it is hard to diagnose and frequently goes undiagnosed

-symptoms are gradual and sometimes positive (weight loss) so they are not easily recognized by anyone, not the person suffering it, nor those around them, nor doctors

-women are much more likely to suffer from thyroid problems (though IMO men suffer more of the mental symptoms and either get diagnosed with a mental illness or go undiagnosed as many women do)

-thyroid problems often crop up postpartum (though that was not the case for me); IMO this is because they are often triggered by stress, either mental, emotional or physical (and pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood are pretty much the apex of all three)

-many of the symptoms mimic what we typically think of as normal aging (weight gain, loss of energy, sleep problems, etc.)

I could go on and on here. My point is every single woman needs to be on top of her own health when it comes to the thyroid. And looking out for friends and family, too, since it is so hard to recognize and get properly diagnosed and treated. IMO this is a HUGE national health crisis that actually sucks up a lot of our health care.

I hope everyone here (lurkers too!) gets the help they need with this. For many, I will bet you are also suffering from some form of depression and I know how hard it can be (esp. when raising a family) to put the energy into trying to heal yourself. But it is so worth it! Remember Steel Magnolias:

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. ..."

[edurnemk]

For the OP and anyone else who has had blood tests, etc, and everything is "normal",
I would not take the doctor's word for that. Especially regarding thyroid tests. The thyroid can absolutely affect your libido and do not believe anyone who tells you it cannot. IMO, the thyroid is something that *many* doctors (including endocrinologists) know very little about. Normal is different for everyone when it comes to the thyroid. You should ask for your actual test results (hopefully you got more than a TSH test) and research them for yourself. And if those tests were more than six (three?) months ago they should be redone.

Thanks for this info, tiapam, I'm actually going to see my endocrinologist tomorrow with my test results. I got tested for a million things, since I was diagnosed with mild osteopenia and we're trying to find the cause, one of which could be thyroid issues. After the first examination the doctor feels I have no symptoms of possible hypothyroidism, but still ordered a bunch of tests: TSH, free T4, PTH, etc. The test results are 4 pages long, since it also include a lot of tests for calcium, Vit D, etc.

Are there any particular questions I should ask the doctor tomorrow? In your experience, are those tests enough for the thyroid issue? I have a suspicion that a mild depression may be causing many of my symptoms, but thyroid problems are very common in my family. I'll address all my symptoms with him tomorrow again: lack of energy, loss of libido, frequent dizziness, etc.

[gatorsmom]

I have noticed that with the more stress I have and tasks that I have to do, the less I crave it. When I accomplish something that's been weighing on my mind, then I feel more in the mood.

When DH and i went on our trip last February, there was really nothing to do but lay on the beach and eat at nice restaurants. There were no kids around and no stress at all. My libido came back and we came from the beach early nearly every day to um, hang out in the room. As soon as we got back home, it was back to the same old drudgery.

I do find that my libido picks up when I'm exercising, losing weight and feeling good about myself.

[tiapam]

Thanks for this info, tiapam, I'm actually going to see my endocrinologist tomorrow with my test results. I got tested for a million things, since I was diagnosed with mild osteopenia and we're trying to find the cause, one of which could be thyroid issues. After the first examination the doctor feels I have no symptoms of possible hypothyroidism, but still ordered a bunch of tests: TSH, free T4, PTH, etc. The test results are 4 pages long, since it also include a lot of tests for calcium, Vit D, etc.

Are there any particular questions I should ask the doctor tomorrow? In your experience, are those tests enough for the thyroid issue? I have a suspicion that a mild depression may be causing many of my symptoms, but thyroid problems are very common in my family. I'll address all my symptoms with him tomorrow again: lack of energy, loss of libido, frequent dizziness, etc.

Most of the heavy research I did on this was a long time ago. What I wrote is what I have read over and over again and also from my own experience. I do know that TSH by itself may not show a problem where more in depth tests will. And all of your tests could be normal but you could still benefit from trying treatment.

Have you seen a checklist of symptoms yourself and given yourself an "exam"?

Depression and thyroid is kind of like a chicken and egg thing. Since it can be triggered by stress, of course you can feel depressed before onset of more "physical" symptoms (though IMO and experience, depression is a very physical thing).

As I said, IMO libido can be related to the thyroid. And lack of energy, absolutely, that is a major symptom! Family history is also a huge indicator.

I have had some trouble with dizziness on and off. Haven't really gotten that addressed. You could also look into something called POTS. Postural Tachycardia Syndrome. I don't know much about it, just saw it on TV.

Mary Shomon's website is a good place to go on the internet:

http://thyroid.about.com/

Her books are great too.

HTH.

[edurnemk]

Mary Shomon's website is a good place to go on the internet:

http://thyroid.about.com/

Her books are great too.

HTH.

Thanks again!