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  1. #1
    HIU8 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Moms of DC with anxiety issues.....advice please

    DS is 6. He has SPD with fine and gross motor delays. He has not been diagnosed with anything else yet (no adhd not on the spectrum etc....---as far as we know at this point). However, he seems to have pretty big issues with anxiety. There are a number of things which bring out the anxiety (none of which seem to be occuring at school, just at home). DS likes his routine and if it veers he is a mess. He has issues with transitions that will throw him into anxiety tantrum mode. We have had to adjust how we deal with DS with time warnings and other things. However, since stopping the therapuetic listening he was doing (he had done it close to a year) thing have started to go downhill again. DS cannot live on the TL tapes forever. There has to be something else we can do to help him (and yes, I know that I am part of the issue--we set aside 15 minutes between bfast and leaving for DS to get shoes and coat on--it takes every second of that time--believe me. It frustrates me and I try not to let it show, but while DS's anxiety is growing, so is my frustration level). I am speaking to his school and his OT about this, but wanted to know if anyone has BTDT? What have you done? Are there any books that I can read with different techniques to help DS and help me?
    Heather

    DS 2004
    DD 2007

  2. #2
    Gena's Avatar
    Gena is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    If you haven't already, take a look at: "When My Worries Get Too Big! A Relaxation Book for Children Who Live with Anxiety ."

    It's a book designed to help kids recognize their anxiety level and develop relaxation/coping skills. We don't use this particular book, but we use others by the same author/publisher that are similar.

    http://www.amazon.com/When-Worries-R...0181545&sr=8-1#_


    We use "My Book Full of Feelings" and "The Incredible 5 Point Scale", (both of which are shown further down on the page). It has taken DS a little time to build an understanding of the techniques, but we do find them very helpful.
    Last edited by Gena; 11-19-2010 at 11:55 AM. Reason: I'm having spelling problems today.
    Gena

    DS, age 11 and always amazing

    “Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong

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    Twoboos is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gena View Post

    We use "My Book Full of Feelings" and "The Incredible 5 Point Scale", (both of which are shown further down on the page). It has taken DS a little time to build an understanding of the techniques, but we do find them very helpful.
    Hey Gena, do you think "My Book Full of Feelings" is appropriate for a kid not on the spectrum? Or is it geared toward all kids? The review seemed to imply all but I'm not sure. DD2 could definitely use help keeping some of her emotions in check...

    Thanks!
    "Every mother needs a wife." - Amy Poehler, Yes Please

  4. #4
    Gena's Avatar
    Gena is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twoboos View Post
    Hey Gena, do you think "My Book Full of Feelings" is appropriate for a kid not on the spectrum? Or is it geared toward all kids? The review seemed to imply all but I'm not sure. DD2 could definitely use help keeping some of her emotions in check...

    Thanks!
    I definately think any kid who needs to learn to recognize and regulate their emotions would benefit from this book. It's not just for kids on the spectrum.

    For each emotion (happy, sad, angry, calm, worried, frustrated) it has a two page spread. The left hand side helps the child identify small-medium-big triggers. The right hand side helps the child identify things they can do when they have these emotions.

    Some kids have a hard time recognizing and naming their emotions. Other kids can recognize the emotion, but only express them in extremes (On or Off). The book helps kids realize that their emotions come in different sizes. So for example, they can learn how to get a little frustrated without escalating to completely out of control frustrated. And then they can see ways to deal with their frustration.

    The pages are dry-erase, so you or your child can write things specific to themselves and change it as they need. It's really a neat little book.
    Last edited by Gena; 11-19-2010 at 12:40 PM. Reason: spelling again
    Gena

    DS, age 11 and always amazing

    “Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong

  5. #5
    egoldber's Avatar
    egoldber is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    My older DD struggles with anxiety. Technically she does not meet the criteria for a diagnosis for GAD (general anxiety disorder) but she has enough of the symptoms and struggles enough that we decided to get outside help. The best thing we ever did for her was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The books and techniques described above are all elements from CBT.

    They worked a lot on recognizing her emotions and helping her to understand whether what she was feeling was a 1 or a 10. They developed a "fear ladder" where she listed the things that brought her distress and then they developed coping techniques (with homework for us and us) until we felt like that was under control. We still use all those techniques even though she is no longer seeing the therapist specifically.

    So I would read the books and use the tools and see if they help. But we found that the therapist was extremely helpful in putting the plan together and structuring things for us.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  6. #6
    Twoboos is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gena View Post
    I definately think any kid who needs to learn to recognize and regulate their emotions would benefit from this book. It's not just for kids on the spectrum.

    For each emotion (happy, sad, angry, calm, worried, frustrated) it has a two page spread. The left hand side helps the child identify small-medium-big triggers. The right hand side helps the child identify things they can do when they have these emotions.

    Some kids have a hard time recognizing and naming their emotions. Other kids can recognize the emotion, but only express them in extremes (On or Off). The book helps kids realize that their emotions come in different sizes. So for example, they can learn how to get a little frustrated without escalating to completely out of control frustrated. And then they can see ways to deal with their frustration.

    The pages are dry-erase, so you or your child can write things specific to themselves and change it as they need. It's really a neat little book.
    Thank you so much for the info!! DD2 is definitely an On/Off kid. ANd when the emotions are on (frustration, anger, disappointment), look out. Seriously, take cover. And then she doesn't know how to get her self back to calm. This book sounds perfect.

    I really appreciate it!!
    "Every mother needs a wife." - Amy Poehler, Yes Please

  7. #7
    HIU8 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Thanks Beth. I'm going to start with the books and work with DS's school (they are connected to a much larger school for children with all sorts of issues so they should have some good resources for us as well).
    Heather

    DS 2004
    DD 2007

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