missing chemistry with DH...

[DrSally]

...Always need to keep improving yourself - and bringing new things to the marriage.

I like your attitude!

[Dream]

My wife liked the results. However, until she had understood I read the book - she worried where I had been learning new things. Always need to keep improving yourself - and bringing new things to the marriage.

Opposite of this book - you mean one for women to improve?

Yes, I'm thinking... if I can improve then I can try to get him to read this book in return.

[karstmama]

it's on the kinky side, but i got lots of great tips from gay sites. i figured guys would know, right?

[LadyPeter]

There is a great book for women. I needed it because, like the OP, I was a virgin when I married and had no clue what I was doing! I really liked How to Be a Great Lover, by Lou Paget.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Great-Love...0537763&sr=8-1

[BabbyO]

I must mention I can easily get an orgasm manually or with a toy.

FWIW, I'm similar...I can orgasm manually or with a toy, but not so easily during intercourse. DH and I had a talk a long time ago about it...and we've just incorporated it into our love making. So I get to start out well revved (and usually one or two orgasms in the bag) before intercourse. DH participates in helping me achieve orgasm...then we move on to intercourse. This has made it possible for me to enjoy intercourse much more...and I even manage mini-orgasms sometimes during intercourse. We both end up feeling much more fulfilled.

[niccig]

I suggest try astroglide lubricant. You said that intercourse used to be painful, and I wonder if even though it no longer hurts, you might be tensing and therefore not relaxing. It was highly recommended in previous posts. You can get at the drugstore or target.

I also agree with the more practice, together and by yourself. And remember that libido/attraction are peaks and troughs...and it's difficult with being tired from kids to be at a peak. You could also see if maybe birth control is affecting your libidio - try swapping to something else and see if that helps anything.