Need some encouragement re: my 6-wk old...

[TxCat]

I don't even know where to begin...

So, my daughter is 6 weeks and I'm so discouraged by her sleep situation at this point, that I'm losing all hope it will ever get better.

Issue 1: She is only sleeping in 1.5-2.5 hr segments at the most, even at night. I had to go back to work for a week and a half when she was 4 weeks (I'm a medical resident), and just before that she was sleeping a 3-3.5 hr stretch at night, even breast-fed (if she had formula, she might go to 4 hrs). Now I'm back home with her, done with work until January, but she seems like she has regressed sleep-wise and now it's these much shorter stretches of sleep. It's killing me! It takes longer at times to get her to sleep than her actual time spent asleep.

Issue 2: She only sleeps in her bouncer. This was a habit that started early by a night nanny that we hired when she was 2 weeks old in preparation for me to go back to work. I expressed concern about it after a week, and the nanny assured me that she could transition to the crib, but I only saw her in there about half of the nights - the other nights she was in the bouncer. Occasionally I can get her to take a nap in her crib or in the bassinet by our bed, but at night she will only sleep in her bouncer or being held, or actually in our bed next to me.

Any words of wisdom? I have the Mindell and Pantley sleep books that I still need to read. I'm also trying to take to heart the many times I've read and been told that you can't spoil a newborn, and my pedi's advice that it doesn't matter where she sleeps or how I get her to sleep for the first 2 months. But, I just can't imagine how things might improve right now.

Feeling defeated by my 8 lb. baby...

[wellyes]

I'm know this is probably more disheartening than reassuring but:

She sounds like a very typical six week old. And there's really not much you can do about it.

This early stage of parenting is kind of torturous - trust me, I know, I have a four month old.

The GOOD news is that the sleep / wakefulness pattern will definitely change. Babies that age go through growth spurts which cause a week of nighttime misery, then sleep for 4-6 hours at a stretch for a month, then another spurt. Be grateful for the good nights, deal with the bad ones. She'll almost certainly be more predictable and a better sleeper by the time she's 4-6 months old.

[MoJo]

Six weeks is a HARD time even for "good" babies. It DOES get better!

My now-five-month old only wanted to sleep in the swing or my bed at that stage. That stage only lasted a few weeks, though. She now sleeps well through the night in a crib in her own room.

[smiles33]

First, HUGS to you! I can't imagine how you functioned at work only a week and a half after birth. Anyhow, I'm no expert, but 2 DDs later, I feel like it really is a matter of doing what works for YOUR baby.

DD1 refused to sleep other than being held for the first 2 weeks. I thought we were in SERIOUS trouble. Fortunately, after 2 weeks, she took to the swing and/or bouncer. We would start the night in the swing/bouncer and then after her next BF session, I'd be able to put her in her crib without protest. I was worried about the swing/bouncer dependency at first, but she transitioned to the crib fine afterwards. So, my message to you is: don't worry about it. She will not sleep in her bouncer forever. It won't harm her to sleep there for a few more weeks.

As for the first issue, I think it really depends on the baby. If she only catnaps and you're EBFing, I would think about co-sleeping or, if you object to having her in your bed (or your DH does like mine), sleep on the floor of her nursery so you can maximize the hours you get. I was a zombie that first month as DD1 would nurse for 80 minutes, sleep for 1-1.5 hour, and then want to nurse again. It felt like I'd sleep for 30-45 minutes and then she'd be crying again to nurse. DD2 started sleeping 2-3 hour shifts really early on and soon moved on to giving me at least one 4 hour shift per night. I felt like a normal person again really quickly.

GOOD LUCK getting through this newborn phase. You can do it and it does pass quickly!

[hellokitty]

I'm know this is probably more disheartening than reassuring but:

She sounds like a very typical six week old. And there's really not much you can do about it.

This early stage of parenting is kind of torturous - trust me, I know, I have a four month old.

The GOOD news is that the sleep / wakefulness pattern will definitely change. Babies that age go through growth spurts which cause a week of nighttime misery, then sleep for 4-6 hours at a stretch for a month, then another spurt. Be grateful for the good nights, deal with the bad ones. She'll almost certainly be more predictable and a better sleeper by the time she's 4-6 months old.

Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear. Your baby is pretty typical of other babies her age at this pt regarding her age. It will slowly get better, you just have to hang in there, b/c she will decide what she wants to do.

[Smillow]

Hang in there & get a copy of the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD - it's all about the 4th trimester! Any time anyone offers to help you - accept it!

[Katigre]

I don't even know where to begin...

So, my daughter is 6 weeks and I'm so discouraged by her sleep situation at this point, that I'm losing all hope it will ever get better.

Issue 1: She is only sleeping in 1.5-2.5 hr segments at the most, even at night. I had to go back to work for a week and a half when she was 4 weeks (I'm a medical resident), and just before that she was sleeping a 3-3.5 hr stretch at night, even breast-fed (if she had formula, she might go to 4 hrs). Now I'm back home with her, done with work until January, but she seems like she has regressed sleep-wise and now it's these much shorter stretches of sleep. It's killing me! It takes longer at times to get her to sleep than her actual time spent asleep.

Issue 2: She only sleeps in her bouncer. This was a habit that started early by a night nanny that we hired when she was 2 weeks old in preparation for me to go back to work. I expressed concern about it after a week, and the nanny assured me that she could transition to the crib, but I only saw her in there about half of the nights - the other nights she was in the bouncer. Occasionally I can get her to take a nap in her crib or in the bassinet by our bed, but at night she will only sleep in her bouncer or being held, or actually in our bed next to me.

Any words of wisdom? I have the Mindell and Pantley sleep books that I still need to read. I'm also trying to take to heart the many times I've read and been told that you can't spoil a newborn, and my pedi's advice that it doesn't matter where she sleeps or how I get her to sleep for the first 2 months. But, I just can't imagine how things might improve right now.

Feeling defeated by my 8 lb. baby...

She sounds like a very normal 6 week old. Now the thing to look at is how her wake-ups (and daytime sleep) is handled so you can minimize her disturbance and get the maximum sleep for you.

1. Do not turn on lights at night - period. Use a flashlight or a reading light when she wakes up and you need to change her (and minimize how often you change her at night - 1-2x max). This helps both you and her stay in a 'nighttime' mindset. The more you move around, the more you turn on lights, the more difficult it will be for both of you to fall back asleep. The goal is to not fully wake up at night as much as possible.

2. Night feedings: Have you tried nursing laying down? That was my #1 lifesaver in the early weeks when they wake up so often (and FWIW, 6 weeks and 12 weeks are times of growth spurts where they wake up more often and sleep shorter intervals - this is to boost your supply for when they're bigger). If you can nurse her laying down you don't wake up as much - and if you keep the bouncy seat next to the bed you can slip her back into it without moving much.

3. Sleep areas: Have you tried swaddling and a white noise machine to help her resettle?

[Katigre]

FWIW, since you mentioned she sleeps well next to you or held - have you considered trying cosleeping instead of having her sleep alone? I am a big believer in doing what it takes to get good sleep in those early weeks. For our family, that meant cosleeping and not bothering with a crib. I was not sleep deprived with a newborn b/c I didn't have to deal with 'putting a baby back to sleep' - the baby would stir, I'd latch them on, we'd both drift off back to sleep. No lights, little movement, and we both got full sleep cycles in which was so important for me to feel well-rested. With you going back to work cosleeping can work to your advantage in terms of keeping up your milk supply and providing closeness/bonding with the baby too (at least that has been the case for us).

With DS, I distinctly remember a point when he was 4 months old when DH and I realized that we could transition him to a crib if we wanted to - we didn't opt for that but it was very possible.

[TxCat]

Thanks so much for the replies so far!

Actually, it is really encouraging to hear that this is normal - I keep hearing about other babies who are already sleeping 6 hr stretches at this age, or else I'm envisioning a 4-year old insomniac in a bouncy chair. Hearing that this is pretty normal 6-wk old behavior is very encouraging.

We have read Happiest Baby on the Block and while its techniques definitely help us quiet her down, it doesn't seem to help with extending her sleep.

I've tried co-sleeping in the bed but have run into a few snags. We have a pillow-top mattress which madee worry about her safety and also made side-lying nursing difficult (sinking into the bed); I got an Arms' Reach co-sleeper for the safety issue but of course she won't sleep in it. Second issue is she's a very noisy sleeper and it's starting to drive my DH crazy. I think I'm just going to try sleeping with her on the nursery floor, next to the bouncy seat, and revisit the side-lying nursing.

Question about limiting nighttime diaper changes - what about the crying? When she cries, the dirty diaper is always part of my checklist. Otherwise I am keeping all the lights off for changes except night lights (DH is not good about this though).

I guess this is just a growth spurt? I wasn't convinced earlier because she didn't seem as aggressively hungry as she was with her 3 week spurt, but hopefully that is what this is. It's just mentally and physically exhausting at this point. At my lowest each night/morning, I just can't fathom how people get over this enough to want a second child! I feel like there's no way I could knowingly do this again!

[KrisM]

Chiming in with another 'normal'. DS1 was my worst sleeper. And, seriously, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 yo. At that point, he was walking to our room, but still. We finally got him sleeping for at least a handful of hours around 9-12 months, I think. And, I do know that around 3 months he wasn't doing the 2 hour stretches anymore, finally.

I can't imagine having to go out and work that sleep deprived. Can you and DH each take half the night? Some one go to bed early and sleep for a few hours and then for the second half of the night be the one to get up with the baby while the other adult sleeps through?

As for checking the diaper, if you find it's always clean, skip it and assume it's clean . All mine weren't pooping at night by 5 weeks. Yes, that'll vary, but it will stop at some point.