anybody else HATE to travel for thanksgiving?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

now don't get me wrong, i love to travel, and it's always great to see family that we don't get to see very often. BUT, i have to admit, after this last trip, i'm tempted to say i never want to travel for Thanksgiving again (especially by car). EVER. Ok, maybe until kids are old enough to be out of diapers and entertain themselves.

I guess it's a combination of things...the insane crowds (everywhere!), the horrible traffic (even at night!!), the MAJOR disruption in routine (for both me and DS), the sheer exhaustion that comes as a result of being 5 mos pregnant and spending 20+ hours in the car (over just 4 days) with an infant who clearly would rather be anywhere else... oh and the crazy number of family get-togethers, DS getting overwhelmed with all the people, the averaging 4 hrs of sleep per night, having to eat crappy fast food all the time because that's all that's available on the road, dealing with horrible headaches as a result of lack of sleep, exhaustion etc. THe other night when we got back I was just SO happy to be home and I could tell DS was too.

Seriously, i am so jealous of those who get to wake up at 5am or whatever, get to cook turkey, stuffing and whatnot , have family over, then they leave and you get to spend the rest of the weekend relaxing and doing whatever IN YOUR OWN HOUSE. I always hear people say how they are so sad their "four day weekend is over". well this past few days certainly didn't feel like a "weekend" to me..spending 8 hours on the road entertaining an infant while stuck in traffic is not a "vacation" by any stretch.

oh, and as an added bonus, just when i *finally* started to feel back in the swing of things yesterday, i wake up this morning feeling like crap, like i had just come down with the worst cold ever. i had been worried about getting sick since one of our nephews who we visited had runny nose, and I *always* get sick after visiting DH's family over the holidays. and DH is leaving tomorrow morning for 11 days, so i get to spend the next week and half on my own, being sick without meds and possibly caring for a sick infant as well. BOO.

Sorry if i sound like a scrooge, but seriously, i ain't feeling the holiday joy at the moment. I am just so exhausted from all the traveling and insanity and then having to put on a happy face for everyone. I am just thankful I get a free pass for not having to travel for Christmas this year.

[wellyes]

Ugh I hear you. Plus I *hate* driving in general on Thanksgiving.... so many people who rarely venture out who don't seem to know how to drive! It's always a little scary on the road that day.

[twowhat?]

That does NOT sound relaxing We're lucky our immediate family is in town, but have insisted in the past 2 years to host Thanksgiving at our house so we don't have to travel, even to drive 45 minutes! Yes, we're selfish!

Next year, you'll have a good excuse to host thanksgiving AND christmas at your house. You're not gonna wanna travel with 2 little ones. Or maybe you're braver than we are

And so sorry you're sick and DH is traveling - maybe a good time to pay the sitter for several extra hours? Hoping your DS gets back to his normal routine and you get some rest soon!

[niccig]

You don't travel. I refused to travel this year as we're due to leave to visit my family OS for Christmas. Previous years we've travelled for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I will not do that again. DH wasn't happy and neither were the ILs, but I stood my ground. No one has ever visited us for a single holiday in the 8 years we've been together, so I said it was time for them to visit us - and no one took us up on the offer, as they didn't want to travel either. We had the best Thanksgiving since DS was born - we went with friends to their cabin, which is only 2 hours away, and spent 4 days in the snow.

Next year we're home for Christmas, so we will have to travel for Thanksgiving - but I can cope with traveling for one or the other, but not both.

Advice, if you want it - decide now how much traveling you will do for the holidays before you have DC#2, so you can put it into affect early. We're getting backlash because for the last 5 years we've gone to family, and they don't like that I won't do that anymore.

[Indianamom2]

We ended up staying home for Thanksgiving this year due to a last-minute illness. We have always traveled for Thanksgiving and Christmas, sometimes 2 hours away, other times 12 -13 hours away. This was our first T-giving at home in over 10 years.

It was really nice and relaxing.

I miss seeing family, but there's part of me (at least while the kids are small) that just wants to stay home for the holidays because it really isn't fun or relaxing to try to pack all the "stuff" and then try to get kids to sleep somewhere different, when they most definitely don't want to sleep elsewhere.

[SkyrMommy]

You most certainly don't sound like a Scrooge... I totally understand, traveling with as much to care for as you have is no fun and now being home sick truly stinks. I hope you feel better soon & can curl up quietly in your own space for a while.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

thanks everyone, it helps to know i'm not the only one who feels similarly. while DH admits that traveling with DS is a PITA, he is reluctant to make any promises about not traveling because he's so worried about possibly offending someone in his family. It makes me feel bad bc he makes it seem like i'm a major partypooper preventing him from visting his family or something.

ANd whats funny is that i get along great with his family and for the most part i am ok with travelling with DS..he's only 10mos old and already we've flown with him four times, and gone on four (6+hours *each* way) roadtrips to visit his family. I admit that DS is a pretty easy and flexible baby, and ever since we got our Ody traveling has been MUCH more comfortable. However, this last trip was bad mainly for two reasons 1) Thanksgiving traffic/crowds...made drive last much longer than usual and pit stops along the waaay more hectic 2) instead of driving there, resting and hanging out for a few days and then driving back like we usually do, we drove to ILs house at night (6 hrs), then next morning drove 2.5 hrs to his uncle's house for thxkgiving dinner, then the next day went to his grandmother's house for lunch and then drove 2.5 hrs back to ILs, and then very next day drove back home (which took almost 8 hours because of the traffic). So we were driving every.single.day, and almost always DS's naps coincided with driving so we had zero downtime.

I don't know. I really hope that like niccig i can stand my ground next year and flat out refuse to travel for Thxgiving and have it not result in WWIII with DH. I mean, we will have a 7mo old and an almost 2-yo, and i honestly shudder at the thought of dealing with 8hour car rides and messed up schedules for TWO babies. I don't think my DH realizes how difficult it will be just to manage two in regular day-to-day life, let alone travel.

[twowhat?]

One thing you could think about (since it doesn't seem that you're entirely opposed to traveling) is to insist on traveling only on low-traffic days. So, drive there 2 days before thanksgiving, and leave the day after thanksgiving. Then you could make at least some of the family events but cut down on the high-traffic part of the travel stress, and keep everyone somewhat happy. And maybe (just maybe) your family might re-schedule events to accomodate?

I feel your pain - I really just want to be home for the holidays.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

One thing you could think about (since it doesn't seem that you're entirely opposed to traveling) is to insist on traveling only on low-traffic days. So, drive there 2 days before thanksgiving, and leave the day after thanksgiving. Then you could make at least some of the family events but cut down on the high-traffic part of the travel stress, and keep everyone somewhat happy. And maybe (just maybe) your family might re-schedule events to accomodate?

I feel your pain - I really just want to be home for the holidays.

yeah, this is exactly what i was thinking. our first three roadtrips weren't too bad because we just went for a baptism or a birthday party, so getting there & back wasn't crazy and there was just one event on one day for a few hours and that was it...rest of the time we could chill for the most part. but Thanksgiving is just so hectic in so many ways...crazy traffic, rest stops were insanely crowded (e.g. at one McDonalds several busloads of college students right after some sporting event). plus thanksgiving was a 6+hour ordeal plus there were other days of visiting this or that relative's house so it was hard to coordinate meals/naps. and, to top it off, on the ONE night DH & I got to ourselves to go on a date night, we made the mistake of going downtown where we were literally stuck for 2 hours in traffic because of a tree lightining ceremony/parade, which wasn't very relaxing to say the least

also, i think that in a few years, once i go back to work and we can afford to fly more often and purchase seats for each kid, we will just fly to the ILs...despite the craziness of airtravel, a 45minute flight sounds more appealing than 6+ hours on the road. Still wouldn't want to fly thxgiving weekend though...it's just too hectic, too crowded and there are lots of delays/cancellations and whatnot. Hoepfully i can convince DH that the sanity of our immed family is worth staying home for thxgiving.

[niccig]

I don't know. I really hope that like niccig i can stand my ground next year and flat out refuse to travel for Thxgiving and have it not result in WWIII with DH.

I'm standing my ground after 5 years of being the ones that always travel for the holidays - and our travel is at least 5 hour flight. I sat down and worked out how many times we've visited family, and how many times they have visited us, and then how many times for the holidays. Eg his uncle really wanted us to go to them for Thanksgiving, but in 8 years, uncle and his family have visited us ONCE and never for a holiday.

As we fly, it's also very expensive...you start adding up the plane ticket, the parking at the airport, the pet sitter for our dog, sometimes we have to rent a car...it's a lot of $$. And it's not fair that we always shoulder that burden. DH said "but they want to see us" and I said "then they're welcome to come here for Thanksgiving" They said No, so they didn't want to see us enough to schlep to us. DH wasn't happy, but I just told him that I could not physically get on another plane and it was their turn. Kind of difficult to argue with someone who is just saying "I physically can not do it." I did say he was more than welcome to go and DS and I would stay at home - he wasn't about to do that either. We had the best Thanksgiving at home, I don't think it'll be too difficult to convince DH to do it again sometime.

I'm just tired of always being at the airport - don't think it'll be easier than driving, getting kids through security, waiting at the gate, occupying them on the plane...it's not easy.

I do want to see our family members, but I'm tired of being the ones to make all the travel effort....I also prefer to go at non-holiday times as it's much more relaxing and a better visit for all of us.

Maybe you can strike a deal with your DH...if you go at Thanksgiving, you stay home for Christmas. That's what will probably happen with us. You can also say you want to start your own family traditions - that's what's pushing me for Christmas at home - I want DS to wake up in his bed and run to the tree.

I just suggest you talk about it now and work out what you want to do for your family. It is more difficult to change after people have gotten used to you always going to them.