When will it end??

[twowhat?]

The constant tantrums, whining, screaming, and crying? Seriously, it seems like we deal with a long tantrum EVERY evening. Tonight was 2 HOURS worth of tantrums. First DD1, then DD2, then DD1 and DD2 together, then DD1 again...it's ridiculous! And last night it was DD2, for an HOUR. This is becoming pretty typical. If we happen to have a "good" evening of only a couple of short 10 minute tantrums, DH and I are ecstatic.

Maybe I'm an awful parent and am doing something horribly wrong. I try hard to redirect when I see a tantrum coming. I try hard to reason (our girls are very verbal). I'll try for maybe 5-10 min and if it doesn't work then I just tell them they will need to finish crying in their rooms and let me know when they're done. But they tantrum for an HOUR at a time! DD1 will even yell DOOOOONE!!! DOOOOONE!!! (obviously she's not done if she's screaming at the top of her lungs). UUUUGGGGHHH!!!

And it just makes me want to cry when I talk to other parents who talk about how relaxing their evening was, how they did puzzles and books and watched Christmas movies. We tried watching Rudolph last night since it was on TV. The girls watched. For 5 FREAKIN' MINUTES! Not even enough for DH or I to get up and do dishes!! And the girls RARELY watch TV! My friends who also have 2 yos say theirs will sit entranced in front of the TV for at least 20 minutes, and some of my friends have 2yos who will "watch" an entire movie! (they're not watching the whole time, but will watch/play/watch/play). We just can't seem to cut that kind of a break! Or, their kid will play happily, be happy to jump in the bath and get pajamas on, and happy to read books and go to bed. Instead, we're trying to deal with "I WANT TO WEAR THE REINDEER PAJAMAS. NOOOOO!!! MIIIIIINE" and "NO DIAPER ON!!!! I DON'T WANT A DIAPER ON!!!" every evening when we're trying to get them dressed after bath.

And now I feel guilty for being so sour about it. I feel guilty for not looking forward to Thanksgiving "break" because it's not really a break for us. I feel guilty when I go back to work and everyone is saying "I could use another day of vacation" and I'm thinking "I'm SO GLAD to be back at work". I feel guilty for dreading the weekends when we have to handle the girls all day, and for looking forward to monday mornings when I get to sit in a quiet office with tea or coffee.

Sure, we do fun things on the weekends. We take the girls out as much as we can, and we have fun. It just seems like whenever we're at home, there's no such thing as "relaxing". I know "relaxing" doesn't occur when you have kids, but all my friends seem to have "relaxing" evenings and weekends where they just kind of hang around the house, watch their kids play, play with them, etc. That just doesn't happen for us. Every evening after work is an adrenaline rush for me, trying to think faster than and outwit my 2yos. And then listen to screaming. And then after they go to bed, we finally eat dinner. We can't even eat dinner when the girls eat! We have to referee all the fighting and fussing between the two of them! And then after dinner I take a shower and then I have maybe 20 minutes to do what I'm doing now, and then I crash. And I'm lucky to get a full night of sleep, not interrupted by "MOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!! COVER MEEEEE!!!! COVER! BLANKEEET!!!!" "MOMMYYYY! WAAAATER!!!" And wake up to do it all over again tomorrow morning. It sucks.

Oh and of course they are perfect angels at school.

Just had to vent.