ISO my libido...

[BigDog]

My libido went missing years ago, I think it was when I was in my mid-20s. I'm now in my mid-30s and I wouldn't mind finding it again, and I'm sure DH would appreciate it, too. Compared to me, you guys are sexaholics based on some of the threads I read here! Is there anyone else out there in my boat? What can I do to get things rolling again? I plan on talking to my ob/gyn at my next checkup, but in the meantime, looking for advice on what has worked for you?

[swrc00]

I have posted this before, but switching to another brand of BCP helped me tremendously.

[Katigre]

A few questions...

1. Are you breastfeeding/pregnant or using hormonal birth control?
2. Do you exercise regularly?
3. Do you find that the more often you have sex, the more you want it?
4. Do you have a high quality marriage otherwise so that it is a safe place for sexual intimacy?

[tiapam]

There is a recent thread that I think many of us found helpful:

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin...d.php?t=372056

I'm the one who got my libido back by changing my thyroid meds and dosage. So it can definitely have an impact, if you have not looked into that before I strongly encourage it. Things are like they used to be for me which is to say that when I am irritated with DH or just not interested (sometimes related to me cycle, I am sure), well, he is out of luck. So we're "normal", now, I think! DH would not call us sexaholics!

IIWY I would make that doctor appointment sooner rather than later. It's an urgent problem, deserving of an appointment on its own IMO, and should not wait for a checkup. But run like hell if they say you are probably just too tired to have sex.

[DrSally]

I think the people who tend to respond to the sex freq threads are the ones who are doing it a lot, so don't take that as a representative sample.

Good idea to talk to your doctor. Have you tried reading some steamy books?

[ecodoc]

Female sexual response is a huge, complex topic - see the excellent NY Times article "Women Who Want to Want" in the Nov 24, 2009 issue for some recent research. Bottom line is the desire in a woman is multi-factorial and complicated. Cultural, emotional, age, cognitive, hormonal, interpersonal, and situational factors play into a woman's arousal more so than men.

Often suggested within the biomedical/industrial complex is the use of testosterone, which is controversial at best. Does not appear to work the same in women as men (duh) - can help but so does placebo. Also have to deal with the side effects - facial hair, acne, etc.

Taking a holistic approach might work well here. Diet, sleep, exercise are certainly important. Some useful books would include, "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes; "Passion Play" by Felice Dunas for a Chinese medicine interpretation of the situation. A consultation with a naturopathic physician with expertise in women's health could be useful, as would a consultation with an acupuncturist skilled in both acupuncture and Chinese herbs.

[swissair81]

I spoke to my OBG & he suggested masturbating to figure out what I like, so I can tell DH. I can't bring myself to actually do that, but that was one suggestion. The other was going to see a sex therapist.

[DrSally]

Female sexual response is a huge, complex topic - ... Bottom line is the desire in a woman is multi-factorial and complicated. Cultural, emotional, age, cognitive, hormonal, interpersonal, and situational factors play into a woman's arousal more so than men.

So true. I think your OB gave you some good starter suggestions, but it really is more complex for women (more than just a purely physical response).

[BigDog]

So true. I think your OB gave you some good starter suggestions, but it really is more complex for women (more than just a purely physical response).

Definitely true. My ob/gyn said the same thing. Women are much different than men when it comes to sex. My doc asked me a lot of questions about my self-image, if I'm attracted to DH, if he's a good husband, asked if there's work/home stress, etc. Unfortunately there's no magic pill for us women. My doc also suggested a sex therapist. She did mention a herbal supplement that she said has shown positive results, but I don't recall the name, and she wasn't able to provide much info on it.

[swissair81]

Just wanted to add that I'm breastfeeding, so I wasn't really expecting anything anyway. My OB was just throwing some suggestions out there.