HELP - short naps and the E.A.S.Y plan - does it matter?

[vtshag]

Hello all, I need some advice!

My 9 week old daughter takes very short naps. I have read the BabyWise and Baby Whisperer books and they say to do Eat, Activity, Sleep in that order. This is great and all, but the naps only last 45 minutes! Rarely will she go for more than that.

She's old enough now that she doesn't need to be fed every 1.5 hours. They say the whole cycle should last around 3 hours. I'll wait ten minutes and if she's still crying I'll try to calm her when she wakes up in hopes of getting her back to sleep, but it never works.

--Sometimes I'll get her up and feed her anyway so she stays on the E.A.S.Y plan and knows what comes next in the cycle and to stay consistent.
--Other times I'll get her up and play with her until it's 3 hours since her last feed - that way she'll be hungry and eat well. She is exclusively breastfed and has a tendency to be a "snacker".

What is more important? Anybody else have ideas or who has gone through this? I keep reading different books trying to fix this. With a dream feed at midnight, she sleeps from 12 to 6 in the morning. Then normally sleeps after that until 10. With just a few short naps during the day this doesn't seem like enough sleep. Plus, I have hardly any time to get anything done while she's sleeping!

Thanks so much!!

vtshag

[Katigre]

What I have seen with my friends' kids is that some are short nappers and others are long nappers. For a baby, 45 minutes is about the length of their sleep cycle (it will lengthen as they get older - as adults our sleep cycles are ~3 hours long). I would look at her *total hours of sleep per day* and the 2 hour window between sleeping instead of trying to make each nap fit a certain length.

If you are breastfeeding, I would advise against going by the clock and scheduling feedings. That will hurt your milk supply long-term and also stop your DD from regulating her own eating (which is part of the purpose of breastfeeding and why it is healthy). A 9 week old nursing every 1.5-2 hours is 100% healthy and normal.

I think that cue feeding (watching your daughter's natural cues and desires to eat) are more important than following a book like Babywise or The Baby Whisperer. There is a reason babies want to nurse often and that is healthy and good for them IMO. I'd recommend this book to you: Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers by Nancy Mohrbacher It explains really well how the mother-infant bf'ing relationship is designed biologically and how to make it benefit both of you.

(FWIW, in just a few weeks your baby will fall into her own regular rgythm that you can follow instead of trying to make her follow an artificial one).

[edurnemk]

IME it's totally normal for your baby to take short naps, she's really young. DS was like that (and my mom says I was the same), in fact sometimes he'd sleep for 15-20 minutes. He'd occasionally take a longer nap, but his schedule became more consistent/predictable around 5 months. If your baby wakes up after 45 minutes there's no use letting her cry, she won't go back to sleep until she's at a point in her sleep-wake cycle when she's ready: either 90 minutes, or 3 hours (always multiples of 90 minutes for young babies).

We BF en demand (usually every 2-3 hours, more often during growth spurts), and he always dozed off after nursing. I agree with identifying your babies cues instead of following a schedule. IMO the eat-activity-sleep thing sounds more adequate for older babies.

The first months are hard, sometimes you need to lower your expectations a bit. Things will get better, but your baby sounds totally normal for a 9 week old. To get things done I'd wear DS in the sling a lot. Good luck!

[truly scrumptious]

We found "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" and the "No Cry Nap Solution" very helpful with dealing with DS's short naps. The keys we used were:

- About 5 minutes before he hit his wakeup time, we'd be in the room, and the moment he showed signs of moving, we'd start soothing him back to sleep (shushing noises, rubbing his face with his lovey, putting back his pacifier.)
- Sometimes we just adjusted to the shorter naps, but then we'd watch him like a hawk when he was awake - the moment he'd show signs of tiring (one yawn, rubbing eyes, etc.) we'd immediately put him down for a nap - we found he slept much longer if we put him down earlier.

All this was when he was older than your baby, though. For one that little, you may need to hold her as much as possible - DS slept hours when held, but was always a short napper when put down in his crib or on a bed.

[Karenn]

Life got much better for me once I threw Baby Wise and the Baby Whisperer out the window. I tried it and found that the EASY order was all backwards for my kids. They liked to nurse to sleep and slept better when they did so.

[vtshag]

Thanks everybody for the advice. I have pretty much decided to throw the books out the window too. I think there's a little good info in there like helping how to read your baby's cues and cries (this is my first and I haven't been around babies much so I can use all the help I can get!). But I am just so frustrated that she doesn't "fit" into what they say all babies should do. From now on I'm letting her tell me what she wants to do (except snack every hour, I just can't do that).

Thanks again!

[edurnemk]

But I am just so frustrated that she doesn't "fit" into what they say all babies should do. From now on I'm letting her tell me what she wants to do (except snack every hour, I just can't do that).

Thanks again!

Everyone will tell you what your baby is "supposed" to do, do your self a favor and ignore all that. All babies are different, and even though a lot of people will tell your theirs slept through the night at 8 weeks and all that, I've found among all the mommies in our playgroups, etc, that is actually the minority (also parents of older kids, grandparents, etc tend to forget the details after a few years, and they remember it to be easier). Most babies take longer to develop longer and consistent sleeping patterns. You just need to take it easy the first few months and go with it, unrealistic expectations will just make you miserable.

As for the snacking, is she maybe going through a growth spurt? DS would want to nurse every hour or so when he had one (when normally it was 2-3 hours between feedings). If it is it will just last a few days and go back to normal.

[busymommy001]

Every baby is different, you just have to see what works for your little one. We found a sleep device that really helped us. ʺSleepy Beeʺ (sleepybees.com) We would turn it on like 10 mins before wanting to get her to fall asleep and she would related the sound to sleep. It's kinda like sleep training. Or the Pavlov's Dog theory. haha! ...not to relate our baby to a dog, but you get the point.