How do you find time for yourself/you and DH?

[robinsmommy]

After years of whining about lack of date nights (even when we lived in the town where my parents have a weekend home), I finally figured out something.

DH takes an early lunch, and we can squeeze in a short lunch before I have to go get DD2 at preschool at lunchtime. It helps that we go early before the crowds hit. We go once a week.

Why did I never think of this before?(There must be a D'oh smiley, I'm sure) She's been in half-day school for a year now...and we can go out to the nicer places we crave, when lunch is cheaper and we don't have to eat fast and worry about kid behavior. Our marriage was in a decline due to lack of time for us, to be able to talk openly about everything.

How do you fit time in for yourself?

And how do you and DH fit time in for yourselves as a couple?

I'm hoping to score some more ideas to expand on this.

[Pennylane]

We do lunch on Monday and Friday when he works in the office. He travels mid week so we don't see each other at all and on the weekends, we just really want to spend time with the kids as a family!

We do need to be better about planning date nights. I can't think of the last time we have been out to dinner alone.

Guess I'm not much help

Ann

[misshollygolightly]

We also do lunch occasionally (DH and I work on the same campus so it isn't hard to do--in fact, we should do it more often!). We also have two couples we trade babysitting favors with, so we get to go out occasionally without the cost of a babysitter to worry about. On two occasions, we've turned my conference trips into romantic vacations. Granted, I still have to present a paper and attend a good chunk of the conference, but we leave DS with my in-laws, enjoy the private hotel room, make reservations at a nice restaurant, and go see a movie or go to a comedy club or something. My travel expenses are usually at least partially covered and the conferences aren't in particularly exotic locations, so we don't have to break the bank.

It's not just "us" time, but we also like having couples over for dessert and game nights just after we put DS to sleep (at 7:00). Lots of our friends don't have kids yet, so it works out great! We get to play games, have dessert, and visit with friends while having adult conversation...all without leaving our house or paying a babysitter!

[Nooknookmom]

We keep having this discussion ourselves. If we do lunch, DD2 has to come along b/c there is nowhere to leave her (no close family in the area).

I'd love to do a date night but then DD1 would have to watch her sister and be ticked off that we went to eat without her. (Backstory, we took DD1 *everywhere* with us b4 DD2 came along 11 years later. Only exceptions were some Las Vegas trips. So since she was spoiled - thanks DH, it's tough to go alone).

So I'd love some suggestions!!!

[robinsmommy]

See, I knew my idea was not that novel.....

We do have plans to trade with other couples for evenings- need to work on actually making it happen. The cheapskate in me hates paying $10/hr AND for dinner or movie tickets or whatever.

Our kids don't go to bed early (bummer, but then I know some parents really pay for that with an OMG early morning, so I guess I'm ok with it.). The game nights sound fabulous. I wonder about hiring a sitter to watch ALL the kids and then the grown-ups can play without worries about what is actually happening in the playroom.

We have no close family here either, but when Gramma comes we do go out. Hence the preschool timing.

We took DD1 everywhere and never understood friends who said they couldn't take their child out to eat at a nice restaurant. Now that we have DD2, who is not the highly-parented kid her sis was, I get it. We don't take her out to fancy places much either.

[pinkmomagain]

We keep having this discussion ourselves. If we do lunch, DD2 has to come along b/c there is nowhere to leave her (no close family in the area).

I'd love to do a date night but then DD1 would have to watch her sister and be ticked off that we went to eat without her. (Backstory, we took DD1 *everywhere* with us b4 DD2 came along 11 years later. Only exceptions were some Las Vegas trips. So since she was spoiled - thanks DH, it's tough to go alone).

So I'd love some suggestions!!!

I pay my oldest to watch the other two if DH & I do a date night. I'm sure you've tried that, but thought I'd mention it just in case.

[sste]

We have a regular sitter on Sunday night. Often, we are too tired on Friday night from work and on Saturday night from running our DS around cities, museums, swimming pools, etc. The sitter comes Sunday at 4pm when we are about to collapse - - we each take an hour at home with sitter there to nap or catch up on something for work or get ready and then we do an early date night with no lines, no traffic, no crowds! Often we are back at 8 for tuck-in.

[SASM]

Unfortunately, we seldom go on dates. I am content right now with snuggling on the sofa after the kids are in bed and watch either House Hunters International or Chopped. I really miss dates but I'll take these little things for now.

[sariana]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

(In other words, we don't. Find time, that is.)

[Kira's Mommy]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

(In other words, we don't. Find time, that is.)

Yeah that. We have no family around. I only have one DD who is 11 mo and before I read this thread I was for some reason hoping that things get better in this department as kids get older. I see that many of PP's kids are not babies anymore but moms still find it hard to find time for themselves. Sigh.