How do you function on very little sleep?

[ourbabygirl]

This getting-up-with-the-baby stuff (DS is 4 months old), combined with DD (2) waking up once or twice overnight, waking up when DH comes to bed, waking up when I'm hungry overnight, when the cat jumps up on the bed, is kicking my butt... I feel like I'm being woken up every hour for something!

I'm not sure there's an end in sight, so I'm wondering what I can do to function better during the day (I'm a SAHM) on so little sleep. I'm hesitant to have anything with caffeine since I'm nursing and I've heard it's just not good for your body, in general. I just really need to be able to get up early with DD (she's getting up in the 5-6:00 range lately) and not be horribly angry with the world.
I used to try getting both kids down for a nap at the same time in the afternoon, but usually when I lay down and fall asleep, DS will wake up a while later to be nursed. Then there are days like today where I won't lay down because I'm worried one of them will wake up (DD has been waking up 45 min-1 hour into her nap, freaking out from bad dreams or something), and I get sooooo cranky being woken up and more tired than I would've been w/o a nap.... then both of them will take a longer nap.
I've heard that exercising can give you more energy, but honestly, by the time I put them to bed, it's 8 p.m. and I'm so tired I just want to veg out for an hour or so before I go to bed. I guess I have to work out each day to get over that 'hump' so eventually I'll get more energy?

I'm only 31 and can't believe how tired I am all day, every day... I'm so much more tired this time around; is it just because I could nap when DD did when she was a baby, and now I can't?

Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated! As DH said today, this is clearly not working.... I'm just a walking zombie each day, and he deserves better than having me rant & rave about having no sleep, only to go to bed an hour after the kids do, giving up any alone time we might have. And the weekend afternoons I've tried taking a nap when DD does, DS will wake me up 45 minutes later to nurse because DH can't get him to take a bottle. So I either hear the baby crying, or DH will wake me up to feed him.

Thanks!

[oneontheway]

For me its a ton of coffee in the am (4 cups, yikes)! I know its not good for me but its about my only solution for making it through the day. DH doesn't get up with the children (urghhhhhhhh), we don't have family close that can help and I can't take a nap to save my life. So I figure I will catch up one of these days.

Since you can't have caffeine, I would put a sleeping bag on your floor for DD and when she comes in she can just get in and sleep there. I've done this with DS1 and DD and they eventually outgrow it. They almost always go to bed in their room but when they wake up scared they can come in and sleep on the floor (I don't want them too comfy plus they don't really care). I always put away the sleeping bag/blankets during the day so they knew they couldn't fall asleep there.

The other thing I did was buy them each a "buddy" its the little light that looks like a little dough man. It stays in their bed and when they wake up in the night they turn him back on and it helps them get back to sleep.

Also, knowing that it isn't permanent helps a bit. It will pass and you will get a full nights sleep again!!! Maybe not always but often

[newg]

I feel your pain
I drink 1/2 caf. coffee. So if gives me a little bit, but not the whole amount.

DD2 has been getting up around 5am since she got a really bad cold a few weeks ago. I've been feeding her (keeping the room dark, not saying anything) and then putting her back to bed. She talks for a bit, then falls back asleep. DD1 usually wakes up at 7 and if I don't HAVE to get up, I will bring her into bed with me and turn on a show for her. Not the best, but it gives me a little more time to slowly wake up.

I think you also need to have your DS learn to take a bottle so you get a break. It may take some work on the part of your DS and your DH, but it will be so nice for you! DD2 gets a bottle of BM every day. It lets me run some errands, or just take a break (like going to bed early!).

It is def. harder with two.......hugs mamma!

[wellyes]

Can your DH take over caring for the older child for night wakings?
If I were you, I'd have him bunk in her room for - say - 2 weeks. That way you don't worry about him coming to bed disturbing you or her nighttime needs. Or the darned cat. You cosleep with the baby, close the door, and focus on getting over this really really hard phase.

Also a cup or two of coffee might be medicinal at this point and really help your mood. You want to be able to enjoy this time, not just live through it!

I was where you are 3 months ago - I know how much it sucks - trust me, it gets better.

Having a partner for night wakings was and is still crucial to my mental health! The way I see it, if you have to be responsible for the baby (due to nursing), he should take on the responsibility for taking care of YOU in whatever way he can.

[newg]

Can your DH take over caring for the older child for night wakings?
If I were you, I'd have him bunk in her room for - say - 2 weeks. That way you don't worry about him coming to bed disturbing you or her nighttime needs. Or the darned cat. You cosleep with the baby, close the door, and focus on getting over this really really hard phase.

Also a cup or two of coffee might be medicinal at this point and really help your mood. You want to be able to enjoy this time, not just live through it!

I was where you are 3 months ago - I know how much it sucks - trust me, it gets better.

Having a partner for night wakings was and is still crucial to my mental health! The way I see it, if you have to be responsible for the baby (due to nursing), he should take on the responsibility for taking care of YOU in whatever way he can.

I have to add that DH helps with DD1 a ton during the night and early morning too. If she wakes up and has to pee he gets up with her, not me. And if she gets up early to start the day, and he has some flexibility in the morning, he takes her down stairs so I can have an extra 1/2hr. or so of sleep.
That has helped me out a ton.

[crl]

My dh took over our older child's night wakings almost entirely after dd came home. I find time outside in sunshine helpful as well as exercising. I have often been too tired to drive safely, but a walk to the close by market (rather than the farther away Giant or Trader Joes) helps me.

I can't do caffeine either--stomach issues. So I sympathize there. Sugar is some help to me in getting going if I am groggy after a nap.

Catherine

[niccig]

What time does your DH leave for work in the morning? We worked for me was for DH to get up when DS woke anywhere between 5-6am and I would stay asleep from the feeding before (2am or so) until DH left for work, 8am. So, I had 5-6 hours in a row. It meant I did all the night wakings, but having that longer stretch of sleep was more important to me than having DH help, but I had shorter periods of sleep. I am also not a morning person. DH would give DS a bottle in the morning, play with him, then put him in the bouncer chair in the bathroom while he showered/got ready for work. I wonder if your DH can take over the 5am-6am wake up of your DD and then when you DS wakes up, if that gives you a longer period of sleep.

Other friends swapped the routine. She would go to sleep with the kids at 8pm or so, and her DH would stay up and go to sleep after the midnight or so feeding...and she would then get up from midnight onwards, often it wasn't until 2pm so she would get 6 hours or so in a stretch.

Can you work on getting your DD to push back wake up time? I don't know how old she is, but at around 2 we put a light on a timer and set it for just before DS was naturally waking (6am) and then would go in and say "shhh, light isn't on, it's still sleep time", then leave. When the light would go on, we would go in and say "light on, time to get up". DS caught on quickly and we would hear him playing then hear "light on, light on." Then we changed the timer slowly over a period of time until we got to 7am...ahhhh...bliss!

ETA...and don't let the cat in the room!

[Puddy73]

Green tea might give you a little lift without a ton of caffeine. Another thing that helped us was making sure to get outside in the sunshine whenever possible. I'm not sure if it sets the sleep clock or just makes the kids tired, but it seemed to help. Long naps on the weekends help, too.

I've been in the dark tunnel of sleep deprivation - hope things get better for you soon!

[artvandalay]

Coffee...that's all I've got. Sorry. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm nursing so I can't overdue the caffeine, either, but I am tired all day, everyday.

[hillview]

Honestly I am a mess when I don't sleep enough. I'd put the cat somewhere where he doesn't wake you at night (sorry cat) and as for DH waking you -- can you take a break in another room or couch for a few nights to get to a better place? I would work to come up with any alternate plan you can to get some more uninterrupted sleep. DH would stay up til 11 to do a last feeding and then I'd sleep 8-11 and then I'd be on duty til 5 when he took over and I'd sleep again til 8 when he left for work. It helped some.
/hillary