Why Does He Poop in His Underwear?

[carolinamama]

So, I know this is sorta a rant, but I would love to have suggestions you have. Throw 'em at me!

DS2 is pting. He is doing GREAT with peeing. Seriously - no accidents at all this week. I would never have started this early pting if he wasn't so completely interested. He's been in underwear off and on the past few weeks and then all his waking hours since Monday morning. The only accidents he has are poop. He verbalizes that poop goes in the toilet all the time but can't seem to get it there. He knows when he does it and always says "I'm poopy. Wipe my bottom." He can tell me he has to pee, pull down his own pants, and go on the toilet appropriately. So I am not going to abort pting but it would be nice to not clean out multiple pairs of undies everyday.

Got any tricks to help him? Anything. We went through 2 long years of pooping in pants with DS1 (and he didn't pt until he was over 3 yrs old). I don't want to go through that again if we can help it.

Thank you!

[mommylamb]

I wish I could help, but I'm at a loss. My DS doesn't poop in his pants, but he insists on putting on a diaper when he has to poop. If we refuse, he holds it in and gets constipated, so we've been giving in. DS is 3.5 and has been completely pee trained (during the day only) since Christmas.

[hellokitty]

No tips, but lots of sympathy. It seems to be something that predominantly is a boy issue. My older two had poop issues too, where they were afraid to poop on the potty, but were otherwise pee trained. DS2 wouldn't potty train for the longest time, just b/c of the poop part. I have several friends whose son continue to poop their pants, even when school aged. I really hope that this is over for you soon. I'm dreading PTing DS3, b/c I'm afraid of all the poop issues again.

[ormc]

Oh I feel your pain. We just did the 3 Day Potty Training Plan with DS2 (he will turn 2 at the end of the month). He showed a little interest (which he's probably regretting right now!) and we thought we'd try to get it done before #3 arrives in April. I didn't want to go through what we went through with DS1 treating pullups like diapers until he was 3, so we just put him straight into underwear.

Like you, pee is no problem. But when he has to poop, we're back and forth to the toilet about 6 times where he'll sit on it for one sec and say "I'm done". Then he'll get to where he can't hold it anymore and just goes in his underwear. So frustrating and gross!

I've tried bribes (for the few times he's actually put it in the potty) and nothing is working. I don't want to make it more stressful for him, but I just have no clue what to do. Its like he knows he shouldn't go in his pants but is afraid to on the potty. Let me know if you find something that works!

[hillview]

We didn't attempt to PT either DS til they were 3. DS2 had some pooping reluctance at first and we went naked for a couple of days which seemed to help. GOOD LUCK!
/hillary

[chottumommy]

Oh I feel your pain. We just did the 3 Day Potty Training Plan with DS2 (he will turn 2 at the end of the month). He showed a little interest (which he's probably regretting right now!) and we thought we'd try to get it done before #3 arrives in April. I didn't want to go through what we went through with DS1 treating pullups like diapers until he was 3, so we just put him straight into underwear.

Like you, pee is no problem. But when he has to poop, we're back and forth to the toilet about 6 times where he'll sit on it for one sec and say "I'm done". Then he'll get to where he can't hold it anymore and just goes in his underwear. So frustrating and gross!

I've tried bribes (for the few times he's actually put it in the potty) and nothing is working. I don't want to make it more stressful for him, but I just have no clue what to do. Its like he knows he shouldn't go in his pants but is afraid to on the potty. Let me know if you find something that works!

We're in the same boat. Expecting DS2 in May and wanted to give PT a try for DS1. He was dry starting day 1 and had no problems with peeing the potty at home and in the daycare but for pooping he hides and goes in his diaper. I still have him in diapers for this reason. I so wish he figures this out before the baby arrives. He knows he has to poop and now on our insistence, he goes to the bathroom and closes the doorx and poops in his diaper. sometimes he even sits on the potty but throws a tantrum if I get anywhere near his diaper when he's trying to poop . Not sure if I should continue with it or just give up and give it a try again in the summer.

[daisymommy]

Another mom of a boy who was afraid to poop in the potty. I don't know why, but he just flat out wouldn't do it, and was scared to. He finally just did it on his own one day--after the age of 3. But he wasn't fully accident free until closer to age 4. Not kidding.

[edurnemk]

I wish I could help, but I'm at a loss. My DS doesn't poop in his pants, but he insists on putting on a diaper when he has to poop. If we refuse, he holds it in and gets constipated, so we've been giving in. DS is 3.5 and has been completely pee trained (during the day only) since Christmas.

This was us until a few weeks ago, he pee trained in june, and only started pooping in the potty in January. I didn't want to pressure him but we gave him and "ultimatum" We told him after Xmas there would be no more diapers in the house for daytime, that he'd turn 3 and big boys poop in the potty. We gave him plenty of notice, and told him he had to sit on the potty and try for 3 minutes before getting a diaper. One day it finally happened, we made a huge fuss, gave him a reward and continued like that. After a week he was going on his own with no rewards. I think it was a good idea to give him a few months to be 100% comfortable with pee training before pushing the poop training.

[carolinamama]

Another mom of a boy who was afraid to poop in the potty. I don't know why, but he just flat out wouldn't do it, and was scared to. He finally just did it on his own one day--after the age of 3. But he wasn't fully accident free until closer to age 4. Not kidding.

DS1 was closer to 5 before he was accident free poop wise so I completely understand this road. I'm just trying to avoid it with DS2 because it is such a pain. I talked to his preschool teacher today about it. I asked her what they will do at school about it and she said if they knew he had to go, they would have him stay in the bathroom until he went. She said they would bring him books and things but he had to stay. She is very loving with the kids but obviously no-nonsense so I don't know if we will try this approach but we'll see. I'd actually be okay if Ds2 would ask for a diaper to poop in but he doesn't. He just disappears and uses his underwear. Yuk.

Thanks for the help so far. I see we are far from the only family with poop training issues.

[pharmjenn]

I am in the middle of this right now also. DS just started wearing underwear, and does great at daycare where she takes him to the potty every half hour or so. He will have pee accidents at home when I don't get him to the potty frequently enough. He primarily poops during naps/early morning when still wearing diaper or pullup, but also is just as likely to poop in his underwear. As a PP stated, he will tell us where poop is supposed to go, but just doesn't want to do it. He does not seem scared to poop, and gets excited when he does poop in the potty.

Too bad it doesn't sound like there is any way to get them to start pooping consistently.

Yesterday evening he was pantless after wetting his pants. After an hour, I got him put to bed, then was cleaning up the house. Found his front loader toy with a nice poop in the loader. No mess anywhere else, so he obviously squatted and left a perfectly placed sample.
We called him back downstairs, trying not to die laughing the entire time. At first he denied doing it, and said his daddy had pooped. Finally told us he had pooped in the tractor, but couldn't tell us why.