UPDATE: Decision Pretty Much Made..................School readiness question...LONG

[Gena]

My issue is that DS is immature AND his processing speed is slow AND he refuses to read (he can but he refuses to open a book for anyone). Plus, he still gets his days of the week mixed up (months mixed up) etc... Add to that he forgot the site words he knew. He forgot literally forgot the in at and words such as those.

These are clearly signs of a disorder rather than a delay. I don't mean to be harsh, but this is not typical development. I think you need to have a serious discussion with the public school about what services would be available to your DS to help with these difficulties.

I think you really need to address the fact that he can read, but refuses to read books. You need to figure out the underlying cause. I'm brainstorming, but here a couple ideas that struck me:

You mentioned vision therapy may be needed. Could he be experiencing visual difficulties when reading? If reading causes him eyestrain or headache, it will not be an enjoyable activity.

Could he have a specific learning disorder, such as dyslexia?

The class he is in now...can the other students read? Do they read books? Is it possible that his reluctance to read to due (in part) to being in a class with non-readers? Do you think that if he were in a class of kids who read, he might feel more willing to read books?

I don't know if any of those possibilities fit your situation, but maybe they are something to think about.

[HIU8]

The vision thing is on my mind. The OT is pushing it. WEI says to wait a year (that was several months ago). DS is just now getting really good at telling me that he is angry etc... (he would not before). My next thing is to ask him if his eyes or head hurts when he tries to read.

His class is not reading books, which is also part of the issue. Some of the kids are further behind. They do site words, copying etc... but he is not in a reading group etc... This is one reason he is not going back to this school next year. I feel like they have lumped him in with these kids and for reading he should have been with the K class. He can read. He reads at home (everyone but books--signs, food you name it).

I have no idea if he has dyslexia. However, when reading with me or DH he doesn't seem to transpose letters (I don't know what the other signs of it are though).

I'm still waiting for the public school to call me for a time to come in. One thing I'm going to ask is to have DS assessed to see if they think 1st is a good idea. That should bring out areas they feel he needs extra help and then we can go from there with the IEP (I hope).

[egoldber]

Heather, I know you hear all the time that kids are reading in K in MoCo. But I can PROMISE you, that not all kids in K are reading. MANY MANY kids enter first grade reading not at all or reading only very simple BOB type books. A BOB book is on grade level for end of K and beginning of first.

On grade level for END of first grade reading in FCPS is simple books like Mr. Putter and Tabby or Henry and Mudge. Children who receive the MOST support in public school are kids who are below reading level.

[infocrazy]

I sort of feel like the whole redshirting thing has gotten out of hand. Then I see DS who, like I said, is immature for his age. He has emotional immaturity (will go into tantrum mode at home--never at school. likes to play games instead of listening to what needs to be done--again at home and never at school)

My issue is that DS is immature AND his processing speed is slow AND he refuses to read (he can but he refuses to open a book for anyone). Plus, he still gets his days of the week mixed up (months mixed up) etc... Add to that he forgot the site words he knew. He forgot literally forgot the in at and words such as those.

My DS1 actually sounds a little similar. He doesn't really tantrum at home, but he definitely will cry over things he has no reason to cry about-drives me crazy! He doesn't at school. Listening is not his strong point anywhere. He definitely wants to play games instead of homework...but really I would rather be on here than working so I don't think that is that big of a deal or a surprise.

My DS doesn't really enjoy reading yet, but he can. We started doing a few things to help. He has a sticker chart now for homework (I give him extra to practice writing and cutting etc) and if he does homework without a fit, he gets a sticker. Once he gets 5 stickers, he gets to choose a new book. I have some next level reading books for him. DS2 is trying to teach himself to read. He will read some of the level 1 Bob books and ask DS1 for help. This puts DS1 in more of a teacher role and he LOVES to "help" DS2 read...but really he ends up reading most of the book. TJ also has letter cookies. I give him 5-7 and tell he needs to make X number of words with them before he can eat them. After he does, I spin through as many as I can make for him to read, then he gets to eat them. We also do this with the numbers in there for number recognition. I honestly think this is how he learned to "read" thousands in numbers. We will eventually use these for Math.

DS1 also thinks that getting things wrong is funny...it is not. But that is what happens sometimes when he "forgets" sight words or other stuff. So.not.funny. He has to recite the days of the week to get what tomorrow is, and I would be surprised if he knew all the months. He knows it is March and his birthday is in July.

I will say that he is probably one of the younger maturity level in his class but he is also one of the younger age kids (will be 6 in July). His teacher is not a great fit to say the least and needs to retire. She doesn't really handle the boys very well. I think she thinks that he has some attention issues, but I (and my aunt who was a teacher/principal) think it is more a maturity issue. ETA: About the redshirting, I totally agree. I think part of DS1's problem is that his teacher is comparing him to his classmates, who are much older. I was very surprised to see one girl's hand writing/drawings etc. It was WAY above DS1's level. Yesterday, he told me she is 7 so that explains quite a bit.

He is currently in K and will be in public 1st grade next year. Hope that helps.

[rin]

Will this be a huge deal for him (to be the absolute oldest in a public school classroom--by at least 18 months if not more)?

I think the age gap might be challenging, not necessarily now but in a few years when they're in middle school and he's hitting puberty a full year or two ahead of all the other kids. My niece experienced precocious puberty (I believe she was 9 when she got her period) and she also had a very difficult time socially, which I can't help but suspect was exacerbated by the fact that she was already wearing a bra and dealing with pads while most of the other girls in her class were still nowhere near that stage. Granted the issues are a bit different for boys, but I do think it's something to consider, and at least weigh.

Are there any schools in your area that do mixed grades? No idea if this is still a thing, but the elementary school I went to in the 80s had mixed K/1, 1/2, 2/3, etc grades for kids who maybe weren't quite ready either socially or academically for the next grade up, but weren't necessarily at the point where they needed to fully repeat a grade (or, on the flip side, younger kids who were ready for a bit more of an academic challenge but weren't necessarily ready to skip a grade). I was in a mixed 4/5 classroom, and wasn't particularly aware of the logistics from an adult perspective but remember that year fondly.

[HIU8]

I figured as much. My own brother didn't read a stich until second grade (in MOCO). I got the call and have an appt to see our public on Tuesday morning. I'm going to be with the principal (wish it was the assistant principal as she is a much much nicer person to deal with). Anyway, I'm getting the "tour" of the classes. What I want is to sit in on one for 15 minutes each (don't know if they will allow me to or not).

[HIU8]

Update after visit to public and private options.

[SnuggleBuggles]

The private school sounds great in a lot of ways. I would just keep advocating for him to go onto 1st grade instead.

GL!Beth

[HIU8]

What they told me was that if DS was advanced in any subject (mainly math or reading now) he would be put into a group that fit his needs. Plus, if they feel at any point during the year that he needs to be moved to 1st, they will do it. I'm ok with this.

[Pepper]

Wow! The visits were really helpful,eh? So glad that you have much more clarity now about the options