Vent: do people get up for you on buses/trains?

[janine]

I think this might be a NY thing, but for this pregnancy and during my last one, I notice that no one gets up on crowded buses/trains! It's unbelievable! Just yesterday I was wearing something that made me look pregnant and not only did no one get up on a packed bus, but as soon as a seat opened up the men raced for it!
Ok vent done, thank you for letting me get it out!

[bisous]

It depends but generally I'd say no! That said, I feel so good now (I'm only 24 weeks) that when I get on a bus and see an older person or a woman with small children, I stand and give up my seat.

I just think it is a matter of common courtesy to offer it to any who look uncomfortable standing whatever the reason. I usually examine myself and see if I could stand and if I can, I do. I wish others followed this line of thinking because towards the end of my pregnancy, believe me I'll be wanting to sit a LOT!

[kaharris83]

They didn't on the DC Metro either. It shocked me. I always offer my seat to others who appear to possibly need it more. When I was huge and pregnant people would just look the other way as I tried to hold on while standing.

[AJP]

I can't imagine what goes through some people's minds! I would be embarrassed to NOT get up! That said, I've had more doors slammed in my face by people who can't be bothered to hold it opened behind them for the pg lady with a double stroller than you would believe... What's wrong with people?!?

[indigo99]

I think it's just a cultural thing that is more common in certain areas. I think that most people in the South would expect it and think it rude not to give someone pregnant or elderly a seat. However, we're getting more and more transplants from other parts of the country, and they don't seem to notice.

Similarly, I always think that people in Sweden are rude. We were in a crowded train depot waiting once when an old woman came in. I told my husband to get up and give her his seat, and he was surprised. The woman seemed surprised (but grateful) too. He said that it just isn't something that people there expect from one another so you aren't really being rude if you don't do it. People around here will stand and hold the door open for you to come in even if you're still ten feet away from the door when they go through. Over there, they'll drop it right in your face or never say excuse me when they need to push by you in an aisle etc. People here will excuse themselves for getting within 6 feet of someone else

[♥ms.pacman♥]

It must really depend on the area. In tx people stumble over themselves to help me or give up their seat. Even now that I'm not pregnant but have 2 little ones strangers are always offering to help. A friend of mine in Boston was telling me that at 38weeks people would not give up their seat or help her in any way. I can totally see that having lived there. It's a different mentality.

[arivecchi]

People rarely gave up their seats in the bus I used to take in Chicago. It was shocking.

There was one an article about this issue in a local newspaper and so many men were angry about being expected to give up their seats because pregnancy was a "voluntary handicap". What a bunch of losers.

[truly scrumptious]

There was one an article about this issue in a local newspaper and so many men were angry about being expected to give up their seats because pregnancy was a "voluntary handicap". What a bunch of losers.

Hah! Wait till they try to say that to their pregnant wives. They'll give them a permanent voluntary handicap that lands them on the couch for life. On 3am baby duty.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Hah! Wait till they try to say that to their pregnant wives. They'll give them a permanent voluntary handicap that lands them on the couch for life. On 3am baby duty.

lol love that!

[wellyes]

Most of the time, no one got up for me on the commuter rail in Boston.

But there were 2-3 times where I actually asked someone to give up a seat ("excuse me, I'm pregnant and not feeling well, would you mind....") and multiple people hurled themselves out of their seats to help. It's not that people aren't nice, I think most folks just have blinders on when taking public transportation. Deliberately oblivious, which of course could be considered rude. But most of the time, everyone prefers to be ignored by their fellow passengers, we all just want to sit in our little private bubbles are read or listen to music or think or zone out.