Oh our sleep troubles...where do I begin

[new_mom_mry]

We have been using the following night time routine with DS (who is 8.5 months old) for the last month or so. Prior to that, he would sleep in the co-sleeper next to my side. We bring him into the nursery somewhere between 7-8 pm and put him in his crib either drowsy or asleep (if he just nursed and happened to fall asleep). If he is awake but drowsy, invariably, he will start fussing about being put down in his crib. Sometimes he will play for a bit or stare at the mobile, but when he realizes that it's time for him to fall asleep, he will begin the usual fussing. At that point, I just stand by his side, pat his cheek, give him kisses, whisper good night into his ear, etc...and he ultimately falls asleep. DH's take on the same set of tactics is to rock him, which also does the trick. As the night progresses, he wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours. At times, he wakes up an hour or so after being fed, and at that point putting the paci back in his mouth does the trick. When it doesn't and he fully wakes up, DH often stays up with him for up to two hours, because he doesn't want to give in to putting him into our bed. DS appears fully awake and will play with his toys, etc. The bottom line is that I am starting to feel that what we are doing is somehow wrong, because 1) DS fusses every single night about being put down to sleep in his crib and never falls asleep on his own or without fussing, and 2) I am not sure how to explain the frequent 2 hour blocks of awake time in the middle of the night.

It is clear to me that what we are doing to get DS to fall asleep is very different from the Ferber method, but because I have not seen ANY progress over the last month in the ease with which he falls asleep, I am a bit pessimistic about Ferberizing him, thinking it might not work for him. Should I still use the Ferber method (or another method?) because our current routine is flawed or lacks some sort of an essential component for teaching DS how to fall asleep without fussing? Any suggestions for what to try?

As for the 2 hr awake blocks in the middle of the night, should DH not stay up with DS until he gets super tired and doesn't object to being rocked to sleep? Should I nurse him to sleep instead even if it's only been 1 hr since he last nursed at night? Just trying to figure out if these awake periods are somehow caused by what we do...

Thanks so much for any advice you could provide!

[amom526]

How much sleep is he getting during the day? This could be an overtired or undertired issue.

What kind of routine do you do with him in the nursery before putting him in bed? Does your DS know that bedtime is coming even before he is put down in his crib? My 6 month old DS fusses himself to sleep 9/10 times, but I think that is just his way of going to sleep.

These night wakings sound very difficult. I would not feed him if he had just been fed an hour before, as you don't want to be encouraging him to eat more at night, or come to rely on that to fall asleep.

I'm a big fan of the baby whisperer, if you have not already looked into her methods.

[new_mom_mry]

How much sleep is he getting during the day? This could be an overtired or undertired issue.

What kind of routine do you do with him in the nursery before putting him in bed? Does your DS know that bedtime is coming even before he is put down in his crib?

At this age, he takes two naps during the day. They vary in length, but the first one is usually longer and lasts around an hour (sometimes a bit longer). The second one is usually around 45 minutes. He doesn't seem overtired in the evenings when I come home from work. A nanny watches him during the day and keeps him on a schedule that reinforces his daily routines pretty well. Our nighttime routine involves a bath, after which I nurse him in our bed (we don't have a rocker). I would imagine that he knows that bedtime is coming just as well as he knows that a nighttime nursing session is coming. He makes all sorts of anticipatory sounds once I put him down on our bed in his sleeping gown and grobag asking to nurse...I think he also knows that after he is done nursing, I will move him into his crib. I haven't checked out the Baby Whisperer just yet...but it sounds like I need to and soon.

As for the awake periods, I agree with you about abstaining from nursing him shortly after he just nursed. That's why the only feasible solution has been for DH to stay up with him...but maybe there are better ones out there?? In theory, DS shouldn't be waking up for hours in the middle of the night to play, right?

[amom526]

How late in the afternoon is that 45 minute nap? It doesn't sound like your DS is getting too much sleep, but I know that when my baby sleeps even for just 15 minutes after 330 or 4 he tends to get wide awake in the middle of the night.
it sounds like you have a good night routine going on. Is he teething? Or it could be something developmental. I don't have a lot of experience, my only DS is 6 months, but sometimes there are a few weeks where his sleep is just a little off, and then it passes before i ever figured out why.
The only other thing I can think of is maybe he needs more food during the day. Is he on solids?
I definitely recommend the baby whisperer if you are into routines. She also has a lot of good methods to get the baby to sleep that don't involves letting them cry. They do involved a lot of work on the parents part though!
I hope he starts sleeping more soon!

[new_mom_mry]

How late in the afternoon is that 45 minute nap? It doesn't sound like your DS is getting too much sleep, but I know that when my baby sleeps even for just 15 minutes after 330 or 4 he tends to get wide awake in the middle of the night.
it sounds like you have a good night routine going on. Is he teething?

The timing of the second nap varies, but it often is after 4pm....it's a bit difficult to control, but he always wakes up from it before 4:30pm or so. He very well might be teething. He is on solids and is eating purees 3 x a day. He is not too keen on foods with texture, but that's probably a post for the Kid Food forum. 6 months is such a fun age--enjoy it! Soon your DS will become mobile and you will find yourself having to follow him everywhere I will definitely check out the Baby Whisperer!

[Claki]

At that age we avoided "playing" at night. Well actually all ages so far, actually! :-) I don't know much about Ferber, but maybe you can find a medium between engaging DS when he wakes up and it's not yet time to nurse and letting him cry it out. At that age we would go in when DS woke, check his diaper, pat him on the back, and leave again with the most minimal amount of interaction. If he continued to cry, we would wait a few minutes and go back again.