updated 6/19 first post. Please help me: Nursing twins.....not going well

[gatorsmom]

Oh Sweetie! I could just kill that mean nurse who was stern with you. SHE should try breastfeeding twins before she gives you the third degree.

I have been in your place. My twins were approximately the size of yours and they lost weight consistently for the first 6 weeks. My doctor wasn't happy and I actually had a mean nurse home visit too. I pretty much put her in her place (gotta love those raging pregnancy hormones!).

I haven't read the other posters' advice but I'm sure it's good. I can just tell you what I did. My twins were very sleepy too. I had to move heaven and earth to keep them awake to feed them. I had them both naked with wet washcloths laying on them to keep them awake to eat and even that didn't work. So, I did supplement. I used a dropper and later a small cup (like the size of a medicine cup) to little-by-little feed them formula (using the tiny cup was the idea of a lactation consultant at our hospital). This could be done while they were asleep. The liquid in the cup would wake them and they'd drink it. At first I was afraid that supplementing would hurt my supply. So, I also pumped after our nursing sessions. Honestly, I spent like 8 - 10 hours each day either nursing, pumping or supplementing with formula every 2 hours. But it worked. After a few weeks, they got strong enough and started to stay awake enough that I could stop the supplemental feedings and switch over to exclusively breast feeding. And when they were able to stay awake, I was able to breast feed them simultaneously, freeing up a bit more of my time to catch up on housework.

Don't give up! These weeks are absolutely exhausting and frustrating! I know, I really do understand. You are stuck in the house doing what seems like nothing but feeding babies. Call everyone you know to come over and do some laundry for you, do a little shopping for you, do a bit of housework for you. And just focus on feeding those twins. And see if you can find a nurse who is also a lactation consultant. Or find a doctor who understands that you REALLY want to continue breastfeeding. Someone who won't give you a guilt trip about your babies not gaining weight.

And come back here to vent!

[Melaine]

Veronica! Did I miss the welcome home thread? I had no idea the boys were here! What fantastic weights! Congratulations and that they are home so soon is just wonderful.

I think others have better advice than I do, I didn't have a great nursing experience; it was a battle from the beginning and I eventually lost. BUT I will say that I agree if you haven't had a consultation with a qualified (experienced with twins) LC then I say you should set that up ASAP. It is very different working with them than a random nurse or doctor. And I'm not 100% sure I would supplement at this point either, to be honest. I really think you should talk to the LC. Supplementing is a huge pain and I think it was all the steps I had to complete (nursing, then pumping, then bottlefeeding BM, then bottlefeeding formula) that eventually ruined my nursing experience. It is just so much to do and it is SO exhausting.

But you already have done so much better than I was able to, so don't give up or be discouraged. Hang in there! Congrats!

[Tanya]

Congrats on your big twins! And I think you are doing great!

And unless someone has actually gone through this, they have no idea!

I fully intended to bf my twins and started out that way. When my little girl was almost a week old, she became lethargic and difficult to wake and feed. *I* was concerned. The doctors actually weren't. We were going in every other day for weight checks and they were gaining slowly, but they were gaining. Both had wet diapers, etc. I was trying to wake her constantly and struggled to barely get an ounce in her. Anyway, when my girl was one week old and the sleeping/eating thing seemed worse, the pediatrician said to trust my instincts and we went to the hospital. She had a low temp, which I guess sometimes young babies can have a low temp instead of a high temp. We went through all the tests including the spinal tap and she was given antibiotics and lots of fluids. We were there for 36 hours and they never found any infections, etc. She did perk up and started actually waking and crying to eat. I pumped and gave formula with little actual nursing just because I was SCARED at that point. My boy twin was and is all breastfed (actually wouldn't take a bottle for 3 months).
Anyway, when they were 3 weeks old, I consulted with a lactation consultant and told her that my girl never seemed satisfied after breastfeeding and would want to eat again 30 minutes later and if I gave her a full breast, she didn't make a dent in it like the boy does. So, we did the weighing before and after feedings and found that while she was getting some breastmilk, she wasn't getting enough. She called her a "lazy eater". Due to having twins and also older girls, I was never brave enough or had the time/energy to work at getting her fulltime on the breast, so she gets mostly formula while the boy gets all breastmilk.

I'm sharing my story, not giving advice. I have 4 kids. I breastfed my first 2 for 2 years each and had never bought any formula until my girl twin. I was confident and comfortable breastfeeding and could tell that she was latching fine and like I said, she was gaining weight and had wet diapers just fine and the docs said her muscle tone was fine even the very day we went to the hospital. This certainly isn't to scare you or anything. I would have been one of those people to say "don't supplement", if they are latching, they are doing fine, blah blah blah. *I* knew something was wrong with my baby. I had never had a baby that couldn't be woken up or kept awake or didn't wake up on their own to eat, etc. I knew something was wrong with her.

Sometimes you just have to do what works for you and your family. It may not be what you planned. I had a lactation consultant tell me to pump after every feeding, etc. and it just wasn't realistic for me at that point. I was EXHAUSTED. I hadn't even recovered from my blood loss after their birth and we were at Childrens all worried about our girl, away from our older two again and I still had to take care of my boy twin and keep up with nursing him, etc. We didn't even get to get any sleep until 5am from getting at the hospital the previous evening. So, if she'd been my only baby and I didn't have to deal with a preschooler and an older kid with various activities, etc., maybe I would have been able to get her on more breastmilk and less or no formula. Maybe not. She's doing fine. We're all doing fine.

Don't beat yourself up. It's hard work.

[veronica]

Thank you all for the great support and information. My mind is reeling from all the great responses.

I had posted before giving birth to the twins, that I live in the middle of nowhere, so finding a LC is pretty tough. I will try the link above but am not hopeful. I did call the hospital LC consultant and spoke with her yesterday. While at the hospital, she had all positive things to say about DS's latch and that I had a great breast shape for feeding. When DS2 finally latched it worked great and she was supportive. Of course, it all goes downhill once we are home......anyway, she said that if the physicians think we need to supplement, we likely should but that she recalls my nursing going so well, that she thinks it will only be for a week or so , so that the boys can get bigger and stronger and improve their suck.

On a personal note, it's not that I believe supplementing is the end of BF in general.....I meant likely for me. BF has not come naturally to me. I have never loved it. I BF DD for 6 months and DS for 4 (horrible reflux issues that left us emotionally drained after eliminating everything from my diet for months....). I knew this would be hard.

It is almost indescribable to explain the process involved in nursing twins, so I truly value the twin mom experiences above, as well as everyone's kind words. It sounds easy to "wake them up often" but when you are stripping, singing, jostling, tickling, wetting them and doing it x2, plus trying for a good latch, keeping them on and making sure they take enough in, .....it's pretty much impossible.

Today has been hard. Tandem nursing isn't so easy with all of these issues but I try it to save some time. Then, we are doing 1oz bottles afterwards , but only every other feeding. We are struggling for them to accept the bottles too. Then I pump. When I am done with it, I look at the clock and it's been 2hrs. I don't even think they are hungry at that point and we have to start over. It's insane. It doesnt' even make sense to me. I nursed at 2pm and the session ended at 2:30. At 2:30-2:45, I prepared bottles and started that process. It ended at 3:15. How on earth are they hungry at 4? At 4, I put them on the breast and they could care less. So , then I pumped most of it out and froze it. Now, I'm giving them some time to "get hungry" so I can do the breast again and then more formula.

all in all, I think they are taking in a lot less BM today than before. The formula is holding them over longer so it's now even harder to wake them.

This is the worse experience ever.

[veronica]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. What happened to your daughter, happened to my older son as well. He was 4 days old, way under temp and would not eat. He was nothing like DD so off to the Dr. we went and then the ER. It was a grueling time at the hospital. The spinal tap, cultures, urines, etc. were awful. Plus, leaving DD again so soon. I completely understand that happened to you and send you big hugs. I am thrilled that her tests came back ok, as did DS's. I can't imagine going through the experience now with one of the twins.

Congrats on your big twins! And I think you are doing great!

And unless someone has actually gone through this, they have no idea!

I fully intended to bf my twins and started out that way. When my little girl was almost a week old, she became lethargic and difficult to wake and feed. *I* was concerned. The doctors actually weren't. We were going in every other day for weight checks and they were gaining slowly, but they were gaining. Both had wet diapers, etc. I was trying to wake her constantly and struggled to barely get an ounce in her. Anyway, when my girl was one week old and the sleeping/eating thing seemed worse, the pediatrician said to trust my instincts and we went to the hospital. She had a low temp, which I guess sometimes young babies can have a low temp instead of a high temp. We went through all the tests including the spinal tap and she was given antibiotics and lots of fluids. We were there for 36 hours and they never found any infections, etc. She did perk up and started actually waking and crying to eat. I pumped and gave formula with little actual nursing just because I was SCARED at that point. My boy twin was and is all breastfed (actually wouldn't take a bottle for 3 months).
Anyway, when they were 3 weeks old, I consulted with a lactation consultant and told her that my girl never seemed satisfied after breastfeeding and would want to eat again 30 minutes later and if I gave her a full breast, she didn't make a dent in it like the boy does. So, we did the weighing before and after feedings and found that while she was getting some breastmilk, she wasn't getting enough. She called her a "lazy eater". Due to having twins and also older girls, I was never brave enough or had the time/energy to work at getting her fulltime on the breast, so she gets mostly formula while the boy gets all breastmilk.

I'm sharing my story, not giving advice. I have 4 kids. I breastfed my first 2 for 2 years each and had never bought any formula until my girl twin. I was confident and comfortable breastfeeding and could tell that she was latching fine and like I said, she was gaining weight and had wet diapers just fine and the docs said her muscle tone was fine even the very day we went to the hospital. This certainly isn't to scare you or anything. I would have been one of those people to say "don't supplement", if they are latching, they are doing fine, blah blah blah. *I* knew something was wrong with my baby. I had never had a baby that couldn't be woken up or kept awake or didn't wake up on their own to eat, etc. I knew something was wrong with her.

Sometimes you just have to do what works for you and your family. It may not be what you planned. I had a lactation consultant tell me to pump after every feeding, etc. and it just wasn't realistic for me at that point. I was EXHAUSTED. I hadn't even recovered from my blood loss after their birth and we were at Childrens all worried about our girl, away from our older two again and I still had to take care of my boy twin and keep up with nursing him, etc. We didn't even get to get any sleep until 5am from getting at the hospital the previous evening. So, if she'd been my only baby and I didn't have to deal with a preschooler and an older kid with various activities, etc., maybe I would have been able to get her on more breastmilk and less or no formula. Maybe not. She's doing fine. We're all doing fine.

Don't beat yourself up. It's hard work.

[TwinFoxes]

I remember oh so well finishing the changing, BF, pumping, and looking at the clock and realizing I had to start the whole process in less than an hour.

This is the worse experience ever.

This breaks my heart. Honestly, at some point you might want to (if YOU want to) give up on nursing and just do formula. I only had the twins, I can't imagine it with other DCs. Many, many hugs.

[twowhat?]

This is the worse experience ever.

That about sums it up. I would describe my experience as "awful" and I wasn't caring for 2 older children at the same time. And I had the help of a fabulous LC. I didn't enjoy nursing until about 3 months when they started going a little longer between feedings and could stay awake for a whole feed because you are right, with all the ticking and stimulating and nursing and pumping and washing and burping and changing x2...then it's time to do it all over again. It can most certainly NOT be described as enjoyable and in all honestly it made it very difficult to bond with the babies at first.

Do the best you can. You gave birth to 2 healthy babies. You gave them a great start in life and no one can take that away from you! If I were in your shoes I would've turned straight to formula and never looked back, so you've already gone above and beyond!

[Melaine]

That about sums it up. I would describe my experience as "awful" and I wasn't caring for 2 older children at the same time. And I had the help of a fabulous LC. I didn't enjoy nursing until about 3 months when they started going a little longer between feedings and could stay awake for a whole feed because you are right, with all the ticking and stimulating and nursing and pumping and washing and burping and changing x2...then it's time to do it all over again. It can most certainly NOT be described as enjoyable and in all honestly it made it very difficult to bond with the babies at first.

Do the best you can. You gave birth to 2 healthy babies. You gave them a great start in life and no one can take that away from you! If I were in your shoes I would've turned straight to formula and never looked back, so you've already gone above and beyond!

I have to agree with every little bit of that post. It was the worst thing, the most emotional thing, and the most difficult thing I have ever done. But it does get better and it is totally worth it. The fact that you have two other DC makes it so much harder, I am sure. We are here for you though, and wish we could help more. At least you know there are a bunch of us here who do know what you are going through.

[mikeys_mom]

This is the worse experience ever.

Big to you. Yes, nursing twins at the very beginning was a pretty terrible experience for me as well. My girls were born at around 5.5lbs each and were slow to gain weight. I think that it was alost 3.5 weeks until they were back at their birthweights. I was so focused on trying to tandem nurse them and was super frustrated that it was so difficult.

I ended up nursing them one at a time, 45 minutes each (because they were super sloooow and sleepy), then took a 15 minute "break" to stand up, stretch, go to the washroom, then time to wake them again to feed them. Oh, did I mention that while I was feeding one, I had the other one in a bouncy chair at my feet and would have to use my foot to rock her back and forth to keep her happy? Fun times...

The only thing that allowed me to keep my sanity in all this was that I supplemented with formula for the night feedings. 10pm was my last nursing session and after that I was so exhausted, that I was so happy to hand off the babies to someone else for a while.

After the first few months it did get easier because they were able to go longer stretches in between feedings and they would nurse for shorter times. I nursed them until about 9 months and stopped because I just found it too all-consuming with 2 other kids to care for as well.

I never pumped because honestly, I have no idea when I would have found the time. I think that you just have to find a solution that works best for you and your family. Either way, breastmilk or formula, your babies will turn out fine. The first few months are so hard but you will get through it!

[scriptkitten]

breastfeeding twins is no joke.

i ended up doing a combo of breastfeeding, pumping, and formula. it was hard. my boobs were either hooked up to a child or a pump around the clock... or i was cleaning/making bottles.

add severe projectile miserable reflux hell on top and let me tell you... i have ptsd.

you just do what you have to to get through.

i made it til 7m.