updated 6/19 first post. Please help me: Nursing twins.....not going well

[JoyNChrist]

You've been given some great advice, so I'm not going to repeat all of it. Except the congratulations - such great, healthy weights!! You're AMAZING!

Just DON'T be hard on yourself. No matter how this turns out (you work through the BFing issues, stop altogether, or do a combination), you have nothing to feel bad about. Twins are rough. And until you've been there, you really just have no idea.

Try some of the tips you've been given, and if you make it work, great. But if you don't...seriously honey, it doesn't make you a bad mom. And if nursing is making an already stressful situation unbearable, it's not worth it. Don't let this define your relationship with your babies.

[citymama]

Oh, sweetie, big hugs. You are doing amazing, amazing work, just recovering after giving birth to those two big babies! My singletons were each smaller than your twins so

I'm sorry you are going through this, but hang in there. I agree re getting a certified LC work with you ASAP. And like the PPs said, if you have to supplement for baby's weight and your sanity, it is not the end of the world and not the end of BFing! I can relate to your angst though, as I type this response at 1.30 am pumping milk for my 12 month old when I travel cross country for my first trip away from her next week.

take care, and I hope your babies thrive and grow quickly!

[Tanya]

Veronica, you've been through the whole hospital thing then, so you know about low temps. How do the twins seem to you? Are you concerned or do you think they are doing fine compared to your older kids as babies?

I think my pediatrician was more concerned right after they were born than I was. I'm a pretty laid back type mom. My 2nd daughter was 6 lb 5 oz at birth and the twins were 6 lb 3 oz and 6 lb 1 oz, so they didnt' seem far off to me. However, the doc had us doing weight checks every other day with the twins and kept talking about them being premature when they were born at 37 w 1 d. Anyway, I'd have to look up their weights, but I suppose they gained slower at first, so maybe that's why. My milk was much much later coming in due to my blood loss, so I think that really affected things.

Since you talked to a LC at the hospital, can you go back there for weight checks before and after feedings? I didn't have to pay anything for doing that and it was at least nice to have my beliefs confirmed that my little girl wasn't getting enough and that's why she ended up in the hospital.

I'm also not one to love breastfeeding. I don't get all mushy and love the feeling of it. Basically, I'm cheap and lazy. Ha ha. I like the convenience of it. I hate packing bottles and washing bottles (thank goodness for my dishwasher) and figuring out how much formula to take places, etc. With that said, I breastfed both of my first two for two years each. So, obviously, I don't hate it. I'm also impatient and hate long feedings and rarely nurse from both sides at one sitting. 10-15 minutes and I'm done and hope they are too.
What I'm saying I guess is while you may not love breastfeeding, consider the alternative too...bottles, formula, money, time, getting your butt out of bed (that's another one for me). I would not let the nurse or doctor and their suggestions be what makes you quit. Do what you want to do.

Now that I have one bf and one bottlefed baby, it is nice at times (especially those early nights) to have dh take care of the bottlefed one. DUring the day, I'm on my own. MY little girl actually takes a lot longer to take a bottle than my guy does to nurse. I know because I often feed them at the same time. However, my girl sleeps through the night and my boy does not. My girl has acid reflux too, so we've had to deal with those issues.

If you want to continue to breastfeed, do so. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing type thing though. My little girl still nurses (the twins are almost 7 months old now) and gets some pumped milk, but she gets mostly formula. It's nice that she does still nurse for times like when I'm tired and don't want to get up to make a bottle or she just needs a little extra or a little comforting.
When the doctors at the hospital wanted to know her exact intake, the LC wanted me to pump exclusively for her, but it just wasn't realistic for me to nurse one full time and also try to pump full time for the other. I have a hate relationship with the pump. I don't have a huge supply, but mine does adjust to what is needed, I just don't have "extra".

Good luck! Once you get past those first weeks, I think it's much less scary about how quickly they can take a turn for the worse, etc. Then you won't have to worry about waking them, etc. I HATED doing that with my little girl. There is something so wrong about waking a sleeping baby.

[gatorsmom]

That about sums it up. I would describe my experience as "awful" and I wasn't caring for 2 older children at the same time. And I had the help of a fabulous LC. I didn't enjoy nursing until about 3 months when they started going a little longer between feedings and could stay awake for a whole feed because you are right, with all the ticking and stimulating and nursing and pumping and washing and burping and changing x2...then it's time to do it all over again. It can most certainly NOT be described as enjoyable and in all honestly it made it very difficult to bond with the babies at first.

Do the best you can. You gave birth to 2 healthy babies. You gave them a great start in life and no one can take that away from you! If I were in your shoes I would've turned straight to formula and never looked back, so you've already gone above and beyond!

I agree with all of this too. I hated it, too. I made it to 7 months only because they started to stay awake at feedings, their feeding times became more regular, and we were all starting to get more sleep. BUT, I had a nanny to help with the older 2 kids while I devoted my day to pumping, bfing and supplementing. If I hadn't had the nanny, I think I would have switched to formula and not thought twice about it.

This time is about survival. Not just survival of your twins but of your whole family, including you. As my husband says, twins are a game changer.

[twowhat?]

As my husband says, twins are a game changer.

LOL! My DH says almost the exact same thing: "Twins are a whoooole different ballgame." Though technically we have nothing to compare it to.

[AnnieW625]

I don't have twins but with DD1 I seriously wasn't enthuased about breast feeding, even while pregnant. I just couldn't get excited about it. My mom said I should try it so I did and thankfully DD1 was an easy nurser, but I was all prepared to use formula had she not been an easy nurser or had issues with latching. I would've done what was best for my baby and if that was formula then that would be what I would've done (I had the same criteria for DD2 also). Maybe I fulfilled some prophecy but I didn't love breast feeding either, but was happy I made it to 4 months for DD1, and 3 months for DD2. You do whatever you are comfortable doing and don't feel like you have to do more just because everyone else is doing it too.

Had we had twins I don't think I would've had the guts to nurse twins. It's awesome that there are those where who have done it.

FWIW, DD1 was 6lbs 6oz at birth and lost 8 oz. in a 4 day time span; she didn't hit 10lbs until she was 2 months old; she didn't get back to 7lbs until she was almost a month old. Her pediatrician who didn't have the best bedside manner never complained even if all she gained in a week was a couple of ounces, as long as she was gaining he was happy.

[veronica]

bump for update 6/19

[citymama]

I'm sending you big hugs, V. Just read your update and the news about the babies' growth is fabulous. It breaks my heart to hear you so stressed out. More power to you for nursing twins, period. I would say you should feel no guilt if you're supplementing - a happy mommy = happy kiddies. I'm nursing a singleton and sometimes wish I had given myself more rope so I would have had more time with DD1, although now she's quite used to mama nursing time and we use it as a time to snuggle up and read together. Can the LC bump up the time she spends with you so you can get the latch better figured out?

Sending big hugs and also permission, on behalf of nursing mamas everywhere, to cut yourself some slack!

[twowhat?]

Big hugs to you from here too. It is ROUGH to nurse twins. Dunno how you manage with older children as well. Either way you go - IT WILL GET BETTER.

If you want to try to stick it out with nursing, nursing gets easier as you go. I think for me it was around the 6 week mark when I really felt like I was on cruise control, they could stay awake better for a whole session, they were latching better, eating faster, etc.

If you want to switch to bottles/formula - it will get easier too - someone else can do nighttime feedings. You can involve your older DCs to help with feedings and read to them while they hold babies and bottles. (I'm just throwing this out there, because I have no experience with older DCs and twins!)

You will not go wrong either way. Hang in there!

[marymoo86]

You are doing great. I have no idea what I would do in your shoes. I know it is tough but bm is so much easier for your little guys' reflux as it is more easily digested.

Here's link that describes and shows the Deep Latch technique. It took a little while for DD to 'get it'. But I would tell her each time to open wide and after a couple of weeks it clicked for her.

PPTs your way!

http://www.pumpstation.com/pumpstati...p?dept_id=3228