How long did it take for you to adjust to life with 2 kids?

[okinawama]

My 2nd DS is 7 weeks tomorrow, and I feel like I'm still just keeping pace. I barely stay on top of the house and I go at least 3 days between showers (and they're always at night). We have just started to be able to run errands and join in on play dates, but we're always late, I'm always flustered and someone is always crying.

Did it take everyone else this long to adjust to life with 2? When did you feel like you were a little more on top of life rather than being drug along through it?

[brittone2]

A long time.

The transition to 2 was harder for me than the transition to 3. My kids were each about 3 years apart.

When DS1 was a baby, I was able to tend to his every need. The hardest part for me was learning how to "triage" needs. DS1 still needed wiped when DD was an infant (always just as I had gotten her to sleep in my arms...), etc. That was really, really hard.

Over time we found a new normal and I realized DS1 was growing emotionally, and DD was resilient when I couldn't always meet her needs immediately.

Hang in there, and give yourself and your family lots of grace. It is a tough transition for many families.

We had triage down pretty well by the time baby #3 came along and that was much easier for me.

[lcarlson90]

Hang in there It does get easier but it will take some time. I would say that it took about 4 - 6 months for me to feel like I was able to manage both kids. My 2nd DS is just about to turn 3 and I am still not able to keep up with everything like I used too, but I have just accepted that.

[gatorsmom]

It's not the fact that you have 2 DC, it's the fact that the youngest is 7 weeks old! Little babies make the simplest trips difficult. I think you shouldn't expect so much from yourself. I don't know how old your oldest is, but if s/he is toddler or preschool age, that will makes things more complicated too.

As baby gets older, things will get easier. As for being late, I will tell you the best thing to do is give yourself an extra 30 minutes before you leave to makes sure your diaper bag is packed, baby is changed, bottles/sippies are ready, older sister/brother has gone potty and give yourself 15 minutes to struggle with them in the car. It just takes longer with more kids.

Our church in our last neighborhood was 10 minutes from our house. Mass started at 11am. After our twins were born, I'd start getting everyone's bums changed, shoes and coats on, babies strapped into infant seats, etc., at 10:10am. And we'd always walk through the church door with about 2 minutes to spare. You just have to plan more time in there to do EVERYTHING with little kids. It gets easier.

[maestramommy]

I felt it was somewhere between 4-6 months where I not only felt like the house was becoming normal again, but I was actually enjoying both kids. Arwyn was becoming more active and interactive, and Dora was becoming more interested in her.

[longtallsally05]

Longer than 7 weeks! Hang in there; it will get better. I was fortunate to have my mother stay the first 8 weeks, so it wasn't too bad up until that point except for the breastfeeding learning curve. DH stayed home for the first 10 days. After my mother left, DD had preschool spring break and it felt like I had fallen out of the frying pan and into the fire. It got better after DD went back to preschool 3 x week. If you are far from family, I highly recommend finding a p/t preschool for your older child just so you & the baby can catch a nap, or you can run some errands, go to a doctor's appointment etc with only one child instead of two. I was on Okinawa too (KAB), btw. DD really enjoyed Casa de Ninos preschool. USNH on Lester sucked (DD in '06), but Adventist Med Center (DS '09) was awesome!

[elephantmeg]

a year to forget that you ever just had one and a good 4-6 months to get to the point that someone isn't always crying in your arms. Congrats on #2!

[hillview]

Congrats! It took me a while. It gets better over time. It was about 18 months post birth of DS2 when I felt normal again.

[hellokitty]

DS1 and DS2 are only 18 mo apart. When I had DS2, life was hellish, esp since DS2 was a high needs, fussy baby and DS1 was a spirited toddler. It took at least 6 mo before I even felt halfway back to normal. My slings/carriers were my lifesaver.

[truly scrumptious]

I feel the same way! DD is 10 weeks and I feel like we can barely keep up. But I see my friend who is a SAHM with DCs about the same age apart as mine but 6 months older and she seems to have found her groove so I'm hoping we'll find ours soon.
The main thing is that I miss DS. Whenever we need to divide and conquer 90% of the time I take the baby and DH takes DS. So I really miss spending time with him - and I know he misses me too. I hope that changes soon.

Good luck to you too,OP, with finding your groove soon.