# of kids pre marriage vs. # kids now (and in the future)

[katydid1971]

Early marriage DH and I would say we want only 1 kid. Once we had Ds we wanted him to have a sibling so we had DD and we are so happy we did. We now feel like our family is perfect. I just PT DD and not having diapers to take care of seals the deal that 2 is the perfect number for us.

[Pear]

I originally wanted 2 or 3 kids. Years of infertility and an incredibly difficult pregnancy changed that. I ended up having DD much later in life than I hoped and I know I couldn't handle another pregnancy until she is much older. By then I will just be too old to reasonably get pregnant and much older than I would want to be when my youngest is reaching adulthood.

[elephantmeg]

origionally wanted 2-3, had 2 and knew when I was pregnant with DD that I was DONE. Still feel done!

[elephantmeg]

Pre-kids, I wanted 2 kids. In my crazy mind, I thought I'd end up with one boy and one girl or two girls. NEVER, EVER, in a million yrs did I ever fathom the idea that I would have two boys and no girls, don't ask me why, it just never occurred to me to think about that possibility. So of course, b/c THAT was the option I had not considered, that is what I would end up with. I openly admit that I went for #3 to, "get my girl." Well, of course I would end up with another boy and yes, I'm pretty bitter about it. I had hyperemesis with all three of my pregnancies, so I am NOT a person who does well with being pregnant and I regret not just having gone the adoption route for #3. I love DS3, but I do not think I will ever get over the loss of never getting the dd that I always yearned for since I was a young child myself (I wanted a sister, but got two younger brothers instead and my mom told me that *someday* I would have a daughter, she totally set me up for disappointment). We are done, DH had a vasectomy. I am convinced I could keep having babies and they will all be boys, b/c that is the kind of luck I have. If I really want something, the universe just won't let me have it, story of my life.

Ironically, DH wanted 3 kids pre-marriage and then after we got married he only wanted two. I think that it had to do with our POV growing up in our families. I came from a 3 kid family and was the child who was always left out (GBB family, and my brothers were only 15 mo apart, so very close and shared a bdrm), DH grew up with just he and his brother and always wished he had a younger sister. Had I ended up with two girls or 1 girl, 1 boy, I would never have had a third child. Two has always been, "perfect" in my mind, except that it didn't work out that way for us.

ETA: That yes, I did deal with infertility issues, so I am thankful that I have children at all. However, I had always envisioned myself having a daughter and just took for granted that I would have a dd. So, it's one of those life dreams that will never be fulfilled for me.

sending you hugs. I'm sorry

[WatchingThemGrow]

I never *thought* about how many I'd have, which is kinda weird. We had 3 quickly, and that makes me go "whooooaaaa" when DH brings up having a 4th. It's funny because I didn't realize people walked around with a "number" in their head.

[Melaine]

I always wanted a bunch of kids (more than 3) and I still do. Doesn't look like it will happen because of DH. I'm really jealous of those of you who feel settled, at peace, or at least in agreement on this issue. It's really putting stress on our relationship.

[BDKmom]

I'm like Annie, but sort of the opposite. I grew up in a small town, where everyone got out of high school, got married, and started having babies. My plan was to definitely not get married until at least 21, so that I would be more likely to finish college. Then I wanted my first child at 25, second at 27, done.

What actually happened is that I not only finished college, but got a Master's also, met my husband at 26, got married at 28, first child at 34, and planning on TTC soon. Hope to have #2 at 37 or 38. Since DH and I were dating, we have always said 2, and we still feel that way.

[kdeunc]

When I was a teenager I thought I would get married at 21 have babies at 23, 25, 27 and be done before 30. Reality I got married at 30 and had #3 at 38.

DH and I both said 2-3 before marriage and we have 3 and are done. I might have been open to more than 3 if I had started younger and had them spaced a little further apart. I am too old and tired for any more!

[carolinamama]

I always wanted 3 and within another 4 weeks, we will have 3. OTOH, DH always thought he would have 2 but I think he realized that I really wanted 3 (and a shot at a girl although another boy would have fit in well too).

I feel like I will be very done after this one. I have NO desire to be pregnant again and 3 is probably my limit, sanity wise.

[MommyAllison]

Before meeting DH, I just knew I wanted kids, but don't recall having a number in mind. When we got married, we wanted 3-4 kids. We are expecting #3 in the fall, and hoping for #4 in a few years. I don't know if we'll feel "done" after #4, we'll see!