having problems putting 3mo down for naps

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i am about to lose my mind. i am seriously considering going back to work sooner than planned so i don't have to deal with this during the day! it is so frustrating.

for whatever reason, putting my DD (3.5months, 2.5mo adjusted) down for naps has been such a struggle lately. it literally takes me HOURS of trying to get her down. eventually i give up and put her in the swing, or just let her fuss/cry whenever. it is exhausting because i have DS too, and i literally can't be spending the entire day trying to get DD down for a nap.

basically the sequence goes like this. she wakes up for the day around 8am, around 9:45 or 10am she starts fussing, seems like she's tired, i nurse her, she seems to get sleepy, then i burp her, and wakes up a little and still is fussy. i rock her (standing up, i can't sit down in a glider anymore, she will fuss unless i stand up). then after 5-10 minutes of me walking around etc she falls asleep. Perfect, right? Then i put her down, she stirs a little, but falls back asleep. Still perfect. Then in about 2-5 minutes, she WAKES UP!! Then her arms are failing around. Sometimes she just lies there awake for like 20 minutes before crying, but nonetheless, it's bad because she should be sleeping and it is only a matter of time before she wakes up. Eventually I go get her, sometimes check/change her diaper, etc then rock her again. Within 10 mins, she is out again, and i put her down, within minutes she is awake and fussing again. The sequence repeats, and this literally goes on for HOURS. meanwhile my DS is fussing bc he is hungry or needs a diaper change, or whatever.

It's not like DD is a light sleeper or needs total silence or anything. Yesterday my DD did not nap until 2:15pm, when i gave up and put her in the swing. Around 4:30 my DS woke up, and i figured DD should probably wake up too. He was right next to her slamming toys down and making a huuge ruckus and she was not phased AT ALL, she stayed asleep until 6:30pm!! the problem seems to be getting her to nap during the day. nights are ok...she went down at 8:30 and didn't wake up until 3:15 to nurse. then she went back down and woke up at 8:00am. so she usually does ok falling asleep on her own at night... it boggles my mind why naps are such a problem for her.

What sucks is that the longer i try to get her to nap, the more tired/fussy she gets and the harder and harder it is to get her to sleep. i really want to get her on some sort of schedule but it's just so hard with her naps being so random.

I want to do CIO but apparently it's still too early for that, considering she was born 5-6 weeks early. Any other suggestions?? This is so frustrating!! I don't remember my DS being this difficult.

eta: i try to put her down in her room, i have a noise machine and some music playing, the blinds drawn, etc. doesn't seem to help.

[Beth24]

I have been trying to post a response to you all day, but never quite had enough time to finish it! I am sorry you are going through this...i remember feeling that way just a few months ago, but am happy to report IT DOES GET BETTER! I had similar issues with my baby. He would sleep long stretches at night starting at 3 months, but during the day he would sleep 20 or 30 minutes. It drove me crazy!!! And it wouldn't matter if i put him in his crib or in the rock and play sleeper or Vista bassinet I used downstairs. And yes, it is even more frustrating b/c as soon as the baby is up again, the whole cycle of changing, feeding and soothing back to sleep starts all over again. What I (re)learned from my experience and my rereading the Weissbluth sleep book many times was:

1. Nighttime sleep consolidates/regulates before daytime sleep
2. Daytime sleep does not become regular and predictable until 6 months of age
3. Until then, you just need to go by the clock...after 1 1/2 to 2 hours of awake time you start your soothing/sleep process (try to get to it before she is over tired...I used to count yawns, after three I would try to put him down). It doesn't matter if that process includes breastfeeding or not (my cycle was sleep, feed, play then sleep again).
4. Be patient, and if for the next month or two (given her early birth) she only sleeps in her swing for naps, then let her do it! Or if you need to wear her to keep her sleeping, you can do that too. You will be able to transition her later, when she is ready. I seriously thought I would never get my baby to sleep outside of his rock and play sleeper, but I did!

Hope this helps, you definitely know what you are doing. Hang in there!

[avalonmom]

I am going through the same thing with my 8 month old! He's never had a consistent nap schedule since he goes to day care. Now as a teacher I'm off for the summer and trying to get him to nap but he wakes up as soon as I lay him down in the crib (after nursing and being almost asleep). The only thing I can do is put him in the bouncy seat and fold a blanket snug around his arms and he often stays asleep but never more than an hour tops- usually 30-45 min. I would suggest swaddling if you haven't tried that. Other things that get mine to nap is going for a drive or walking in the stroller. I'm sorry- I understand your frustration!

[bubbaray]

I'd put her to nap in the swing and not think twice. My DD#1 napped in the swing until she was a year.

Of course, neither of my kids are good sleepers, they are 4 and 7. LOL.

[crl]

At three months I would definitely let her nap in the swing if that is what works for her. My dd napped in the swing or in my Pikkolo or in the stroller for the most part until she was around six or seven months. She also didn't have a nap schedule until that point. Then she went to two regular naps per day in her crib with virtually no effort on my part. She just wasn't ready before then.

Catherine

[BDKmom]

I TTA with PP to just go with the swing for now if it works. I think it may still be a bit early for her to nap on her own. As long as she's sleeping well at night, I wouldn't worry about it. I remember at 3 months with my son that he would never nap anywhere but the swing, but then he got to where he wouldn't fall asleep in the swing anymore, so we transitioned to the crib for nap. I want to say that was at 4-5 months for him.

[Green_Tea]

I'd start the whole naptime sequence a half-hour earlier, to see if perhaps you are missing the window of opportunity and she's actually OVERtired. Have you tried swaddling? I know she's a bit older now, but your description of her flailing, and the fact that she's happy falling asleep in your arms or the swing make me think maybe it is the change of environment when she is laid down that's making her wake up.

[wellyes]

I'd put her to nap in the swing and not think twice. My DD#1 napped in the swing until she was a year.

Of course, neither of my kids are good sleepers, they are 4 and 7. LOL.

DD napped in her swing til about 7-8 months. ( she sleeps fine now).

OR swaddling will fix that flailing arms issue.
or, if you are comfortable with it ( no risk issues, angelcare monitor) belly sleeping is often much easier for LOs. I hesitate to post that but honestly after reading up on it I decided to let DS sleep on his belly and it worked well for us.

[mjs64]

This is exactly what my DS was doing until 2 weeks ago I said uncle and let him sleep in the swing. DH and I read weissbluth cover to cover, put him down at first signs of tiredness, did the 2 hours of wakefulness max thing...and just cannot do it anymore. He falls right asleep in the swing. Maybe I'm a terrible mom, but I finally decided swing naps were better than no naps. He sleeps in the beco too but not as long. He just likes the motion. I hope he will grow out of it.

[marymoo86]

Swing isn't terrible and it could be a snug environment she likes. After she falls asleep in the swing you can gradually reduce it until it is stationary ensuring a deeper sleep. Also agree with trying swaddling