Do (did) you have a doula and why?

[Kira's Mommy]

If you have (had) a doula, why did you choose to hire her and what was your experience?

I didn't have a doula with DD and I wonder whether I should hire one this time around.

I was pregnant with DD during the H1N1 times. Pregnant moms were encouraged to avoid gatherings of people, so I skipped prenatal courses. I watched some youtube videos, read a few books and felt more or less comfortable. I also knew I wanted the epidural. My labor experience was nothing to write home about. Water broke, went to the hospital, got the drugs, got some rest, pushed, had my beautiful baby.

I think I would definitely hire a doula (or 2.... or 5) if I was brave enough to try natural birth... But if I'm planning (yeah, I know, these plans don't always work) to get an epidural, do I need a doula?

[AnnieW625]

With DD1 I didn't know much about doulas (I am not big on reading books) until two weeks before I had DD1 and the lady who taught the lamaze class was one. I knew DH was going to be there for me and he is vocal about our needs and not in an annoying way so I ended up doing fine without one. My water was broken by the nurse with my consent because my labor was stalled so really that's the only regret I had with the birth of DD1, but overall we were fine without one. I was on pitocin so that made my contractions really hard to handle so DH ended up deciding I need an epidural (he was right; I am deathly afraid of needles so I didn't want one just because of that) and I got one about an hour before I started pushing.

With DD2 I thought about having one, but the only one I knew who had a lot of experience is immensely popular in my area so I was afraid she'd book up quickly and she wouldn't be able to attend our birth. It turns out with DD2 I didn't really need one. My water broke at 11:30 PM so I ended up at the hospital by 12:00 pm and my contractions weren't really hurting so the nurses offered some nubane which helped and I was actually able to sleep for about three hours during the early stage of labor, and DH slept too. The nurses and doctors were super open about everything including letting me know that I could potentially need pitocin because my water had been broken for 7 hrs. and I was still barely 5cm dialated. I told them I'd want an epidural. Within an hour I was closer to 7 cm. and within another 45 minutes of hard labor I was ready to push and I pushed for 20 minutes. So in the end with DD2 I never felt like I needed anyone but DH either.

eta: With DD2 I ended up not getting an epidural because I was progressing a lot with each contraction, and by then the nubane had worn off so I had zero pain meds while delivering DD2. I had asked for one, but I was probably over 8 or 9 cm. then so I basically told the nurse after the next round of contractions that I wanted to push and they went and got the doctor and I started pushing and 20 minutes later I had DD2. Couldn't have asked for a better delivery.

[bubbaray]

Yes, both times. Are you in the Vancouver area? I have the name of an excellent one if you want.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I loved having my boys with no pain meds and it was something I really wanted to do. I was worried about making that a reality with ds1 though b/c I knew sometimes hospital births can cause interventions that lower the ability to go without meds. I had a CNM but she was scheduled for vacation around my EDD. I didn't trust all the OBs in her practice with regards to NCB support so I hired a doula. I loved having her there b/c, even though dh was fantastic and knew his stuff/ was suportive, it was great to have someone there 100% of the time who could answer my "is this normal?" type questions. You can't count on a nurse being there full time nor can you count on meshing well with them. Hiring a guaranteed ally and support person is great.

Beth

[kaharris83]

I read a ton about labor, I really really really loved Ina May Gaskin's books. I knew that I really wanted a natural childbirth and that I wanted the least amount of intervention possible. DH and I decided together that we both wanted a doula to help answer the "Is this normal?" questions like PP said. So we interviewed and chose one together. We met with our doula twice before labor to go over our desires and make a plan. The morning my water broke our doula told us she was getting the flu so couldn't attend our birth. She offered a backup, who we had never met. We chose to do without. The hospital we chose was amazing and respected all of our wishes. At 9cm when I finally asked for an epidural the doctor asked repeatedly if I was sure as he didn't want me to feel disappointed in myself. Unfortunately I had to labor down for an hour and a half while the doc did an emergency C-Section on twins so I opted for the epidural since I was not allowed to push. My DH was amazing and it was probably because of the pre-labor meetings with the doula and the education she gave us, but we found out later she wasn't sick but actually was attending a conference on the morning of our birth. Doubly annoying because I had specifically asked her what she would do if I went into labor that weekend since I was due on Monday before hiring her. She had assured me she'd be there. I don't think I'd have a doula again, but only because I know my DH is an amazing support person now that we've already BTDT. I think they are great and can be helpful advocates if you are giving birth in a hospital that isn't open to natural childbirth.

[KrisM]

I had one with DD (my second) because I was really wanting a VBAC and I figured that would increase my chances. And, I always wonder if I had had one for DS1, would I have avoided a c-section?

I liked having her, although she forgot her cell phone in her office and we called for about 3 hours before she finally heard the phone ringing. She got there fairly late and that added some stress for me/us. I liked that I had another person and not just DH there so that DH could do more things with/for me and she could do other things.

I didn't hire one for DS2 since I didn't have a VBAC for DD and had a planned c-section for DS2.

[sste]

We hired a doula for a vbac and generally for emotional support and the vbac did not go well. I checked references really carefully and this doula rec'd absolute rave reviews with people telling me over the phone they owed her a debt they could never repay, she was a phenomenal labor coach, etc.

The thing was apparently our doula was in fact an amazing labor coach but was either not trained or not emotionally equipped for an emergency, very (very) bad delivery. While I was still unconscious and being transfused and our baby was in the NICU the doula left (she did help transfer our stuff and said goodbye to my distraught DH). And we didn't hear from her for three days when she finally phoned us. This was a situation where either our baby or I could have taken a serious turn, had an infection, etc. and, well, possibly not survived. When we finally heard from it was this bizarre phone call where she lied and said she was at another labor and that she was "glad to hear everything was fine." I mean I was still immobile in the hospital with no discharge in sight and too sick to even see my DD who was in the NICU! I think she was well and truly freaked out by the entire thing. But, it was an awful feeling for me at the time - - I felt like such a f*ck-up that even my doula had rejected me! The whole thing makes me a little sad to remember.

OP, sorry for that digression! I am generally pro-doula but in retrospect I would have asked about their training and emotional ability to handle emergency and near-catastrophic events.

[brittone2]

I did for my first birth. I ended up not really needing her for most of my labor (had a pretty easy and short labor for a first timer). However, she was worth her weight in GOLD when I was in transition. My legs were shaky and she knew just how to steady them. She was not intrusive.

She also does photojournalistic photography and she got some shots during labor and after the birth (which I had requested) and that was pretty cool. She wrote a birth story for us.

She also was a great resource while I was still pg. She gave me some books to borrow, I know she lends out birth balls for moms to sit on during pregnancy, etc. She talked to me about positioning stuff (which my midwives at the time had totally neglected to address)-not slouching, not semi reclining, sitting in a way to encourage baby to be in a good position.

SHe also did a good job of running interference at the hospital. She's very kind and was not pushy, but for example, the only time I was having a lot of discomfort was when in bed hooked up to the EFM. She got the nurse to hook me up so I could be on hands and knees on the bed or sitting on the birthing ball. She knew how to gently and politely press the nurse to figure out a way to hook me up so I could use other positions.

She helped us get started with BFing as well. She checked in postpartum to see how we were doing.

If you absolutely want an epidural, I would interview doulas and make sure the one you hire isn't going to have an issue w/ the epidural. I have enjoyed going unmedicated, and I love that doulas do a great job of supporting moms so that they often don't need an epidural. There are doulas that may not be as easy to work with if you actually want an epidural. I'm sure you can find someone who will support your choice, but I'd feel that out in advance.

Doulas can also be good at things like shooing unwanted or annoying visitors (family members, overbearing MILs ) out of the room. They can play a role in making sure the support person (spouse, partner, etc.) eats/drinks during labor so they can stay with you.

I didn't "need" my doula for most of my labor, but when I did need her, she was well worth the $$$ even for that short period of time.

eta: I did not hire a doula for my labor with #2 and #3. They were both out of the hospital births. One at a freestanding birth center where there was a midwife and nurse present throughout the whole labor, and an abundance of support. I also knew I had a pretty easy labor with #1 and things were quick and even easier with #2. Baby #3 was a homebirth and again I had a CNM and her assistant present so lots of one on one if I needed it. I prefer to kind of be in my own la la labor land during labor and stay inside my own head so to speak, and I didn't really miss having a doula. By baby #3 I was confident that I knew how I liked to labor, etc. kwim? Even DH knows to just offer me drinks/keep me hydrated and then just kind of leave me alone unless i ask for something

[BabbyO]

FWIW I don't really know a lot about doulas but I've had 2 DC's without one. I went into labor spontaneously with both. My mom was around to help me with the first, my husband with the second. They were born at different hospitals 14 years apart. I thought the nurses were wonderful and helped me through with no problems.

I got nervous with the first one and asked for pain meds (probably stadol or similar). I remember it being a shot and not an IV. Anyway, in hindsight I wish I hadn't asked for it because it just made me tired. The only other intervention was that the doc broke my water (with my consent). I was 10 cm, fully effaced and pushing....

With my second I was pretty confident that I wouldn't need pain meds. I labored at home (a little too long) and arrived at the hospital 10 cm dialated, fully effaced and ready to push. Again, the doc broke my water with my consent. I pushed twice and had DS. The hospital staff was AWESOME about helping with breastfeeding, running intervention with visitors, etc, and I had a very positive experience.

For me I think a doula would be one more person to try to listen to...and when I need help the most, near the end of labor, I can only focus on 1-2 people. For me 1 support person and the medical staff is more than enough.

I will mention, that in reading many posts on these boards I think we have very pro-baby, pro-mama, pro-BF health facilities in our area. My doc is really great about listening to my preferences, the staff are as well...Breastfeeding is strongly encouraged and help is readily available. So in my area, given my experiences, I wouldn't hire a doula.

[BayGirl2]

For my first birth we considered a doula but decided against it, mostly for cost and bc DH and I took a fairly thorough class and felt prepared. However toward the end of class our teacher (who we really liked) asked if anyone would be interested in allowing her to observe their birth. We invited her to ours. I ended up having a difficult 28 hour labor starting with very painful back labor. I had hoped to go natural, but ended up getting more interventions than I planned, including eventually an epidural. I don't regret the epidural, but I do wish I hadn't had cytotec to help me dilate, I think that contributed to DS's latch problems. Toward the end when I was pushing (2:45 hours) our teacher stepped up and really helped with support - holding my legs, counting, coaching me. She also took some great pictures immediately after the birth - some that will be kept private, but still very meaningful for me to have.

Just after I found out I was pregnant with DD our teacher contacted me wanting to use some pictures for her blog, and told me she's working now as a Doula. After our experience last time we decided to hire her. We'll have a total of 3 meetings before the birth, which are helpful as a refresher so won't need to take a class this time (harder with DS). She also did a tour of our house with us, coming up with ideas for laboring longer at home. Its a bit of a relief for me to know that she'll be there for me during labor should DH get tied up with something for DS, or just to make sure that DH is taking care of himself too. As much as I like to be alone during labor, that didn't work so well for me last time, and I think I benefit more from having someone to distract me and take care of me.

My doula is supportive of having an epidural, if I decide I want one. But part of my reason for having her is to help me labor at home longer and minimize the number of interventions I have. Probably if I was ok w/any interventions and expected to have a fast and easy labor I would not bother with a doula.