Can this happen?

[n's mom]

In brief:

We've gone from thinking generically about someday adopting (this past Thursday), to meeting a young woman who is considering giving up her baby (on Monday).

This young woman is a friend of a friend of a friend (well, a girlfriend of the son of a neighbor, and no, the son of the neighbor is not the father of the baby, is everyone following along?) We are meeting with her on Monday for the first time (finger's crossed). She THINKS she MIGHT have 14 weeks left, but she is unsure of the due date at this time.

We've contacted an agency that might be able do a home study for us, we've contacted a lawyer who might be able represent us (we did all this on Friday, right before the holiday weekend started). But I'm wondering how exactly this will work in the time remaining.

Here are the less-brief and extenuating circumstance. Young woman is an adult U.S. citizen, but she is living as a dependent of her military father in Germany. We are both U.S. citizens, but are living in Germany. No particular state laws apply at this location. Our home state of record is different from her home state of record. The father is a minor, living in the states, who (I've been told) doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby. Oh, and we are supposed to be moving back to the states in February. Which, if my finger calculations are correct, is about 1 month after the baby is born.

So, can this be done? Do I start researching and doing paperwork before I speak to the young woman? So far all the things I know about her and her background are based on what the neighbor is telling me. I'm trying to contact the base legal office, but they are notoriously hard to pin down.

I guess I'm hoping for practical advice, words of wisdom, and maybe a few hugs.

[niccig]

I don't know much about this, but my concern would be whether the adoption will be recognised by the US govt, and whether the child will have a US passport in time to enter the US one month after birth.

That and it's all very quick, so need to make sure this is right for your family. If it is, and if you can get all the legalities worked out...congrats!

[DietCokeLover]

You are military? I would contact the JAG office for specifics of the legalities. It sounds very exciting, so I wish you all the best.

[Uno-Mom]

Yikes! No smart advice to offer. Just: good luck!!!!

[candaceb]

I don't know the specifics of the situation, but I know this is possible. A friend was stationed in Italy with the Navy and learned of a baby for adoption through her OB/GYN on base. They were able to adopt the baby and bring him back to the US, though I'm not sure how quickly that happened. I know there was a lot of paperwork and hassle, but they were able to get it done. I agree that contacting JAG corps on base would be a good place to start. Good luck!

[n's mom]

Thanks.

We have contacted the base legal office, but due to the long weekend they haven't returned my phone calls. Same for an adoption attorney in the states.

As far as I can tell the baby wouldn't need a passport, just a visa. We have service members all the time who give birth and then move, so there has to be some way of handling those babies.

I'm guessing no one knows an awesome adoption attorney that specializes in long distance clients then?

[mctlaw]

Thanks.

We have contacted the base legal office, but due to the long weekend they haven't returned my phone calls. Same for an adoption attorney in the states.

As far as I can tell the baby wouldn't need a passport, just a visa. We have service members all the time who give birth and then move, so there has to be some way of handling those babies.

I'm guessing no one knows an awesome adoption attorney that specializes in long distance clients then?

Sorry, I don't read this board much. I have a relative who is an adoption attorney specilaizing in international adoption. Let me know if you still need a referral.

[JustMe]

Sorry, don't have any info for you but just wanted to say good luck---it sounds like it could work some way!

[BabbyO]

Sorry, this may be late, but as someone who's been through this...from the other side (I was the pregnant girl giving up the baby) I would recommend this key item.

Have the baby's (minor) father adjudicated, then have his rights terminated as well as the birth mother's rights terminated.

This protects you and the child from having one of the birth parents come back at a later date and try to claim parental rights.

When the child's father is adjudicated he will be appointed a child advocate (because he is a minor). The mother will have to testify to the fact that he is the father. The adjudication is the process of establishing the birth father legally as the birth father.

Then have both birth parents rights terminated.

In my state both of these things happened at the same time as the placement hearing for my son. Even though it was my aunt and uncle that adopted him (or maybe especially because they adopted him) we thought it was critical to have our rights terminated. It protects the child from being torn from his home in the future.

If this advice is in time...I hope all goes well. If it isn't, maybe it is worth contacting an attorney to see if this can still be done.

Best of luck.

[Pepper]

Wow! That's some story...reminds me of our story with DS2, where I feel like someone threw a baby at me and shouted "CATCH" :-)

We did international adoptions so not the same situation, but...I'm thinking it might be helpful to talk to a lawyer in the US too, in the state to which you will be returning (you mentioned that you had one, but I assume this is a local lawyer in Germany?). You might have to repeat the adoption in the US to make sure that your baby is classified as a US citizen, since s/he will be born in Germany.

I would go ahead and meet with the potential birthmom. If she is still not sure of a decision, it may help her to meet you and you can work out the details later. And if you are thinking adoption anyway, it will help you to get the ball rolling and begin to understand the process, even if Potential Birthmom turns out to be Not The One.

Good luck and please let us know how things go!