#175 - Survived 1st Day! - More Bullying - DS Leaving School After All - Need P&PT

[sunshine873]

My heart just breaks for you and for your DS. How despicable. & no way are you going to get any "I told you so's." You & your DH did everything possible to try to ensure a safe, comfortable, productive environment for your DS & his peers & it sounded like that had happened. What a travesty that the administration has resorted to bullying themselves! Now you're doing what you have to - getting your family out of there. Lots of prayers that everything falls into place for you and your DC...

[JTsMom]

I am so sad that your DS and you have gone through all of this, but I really think this is the start of much better things to come for you guys. I hope the new school is a perfect fit for your family. Onward and upward!

[hellokitty]

Melbel, I'm so sorry that your son is going through this! I can't believe that a school, esp a school that you PAY tuition to, would just blow you off like that and be so downright condescending and rude! Is there any way you could pull him out now? Thanksgiving is still two wks away. That is an eternity for a kid who is in a hostile environment, and I would be afraid that now that everything is out in the open, the bullies (and staff) will be even more aggressive toward showing their mean spirited attitude toward your son. I would just be very afraid that things would escalate into an even worse situation. I really hope that the next school is a better fit and your son's health problems will get better too.

ETA: I don't know what state you live in. However, since your son has been so traumatized, is there any chance that you can homeschool him for a few months, while you are searching for a new school? I would hate to see you rush around and settle for a school that might not be ideal, b/c you feel urgency in finding a new school.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I cannot believe that administrator did that to your child when they were warned about it before being absolutely detrimental to the victim in a bullying situation! Completely shocked.

Last week I went to our state's school counseling conference, and I sat through a workshop about bullying. Your family came to mind, and I prayed for you that day because I had you on my heart while I listened there. Since your DS has had such a traumatic past year (plus?) with the health issues and bullying, is it possible to talk for you to talk with the school counselor at whatever schools you are considering? I think he would greatly benefit from having a STRONG school counselor IN THE BUILDING who works well with administrators and has a strong curriculum they are teaching. The program being used at the school by the presenters at my conference was SECOND STEP. The consensus from the crowd was that the program was effective and researched.

Is there a counselor at the current/soon to be old school? I feel so badly for your DS, and the community of students around him need to be taught to intervene and to fend off bullying behaviors exhibited.

[nmosur]

I am so sorry - my heart breaks for your DS and your family. I understand that DD is thriving in this school but you should probably think about moving her too. To me this seems utter failure on the part of the school. No one related to the school especially the head of the school should be hands off. I have been following this thread but this is the first time I am posting. From what you have said about the school (all positive) I don't like it one bit.

[maestramommy]

Is there any way you could pull him out now? Thanksgiving is still two wks away. That is an eternity for a kid who is in a hostile environment, and I would be afraid that now that everything is out in the open, the bullies (and staff) will be even more aggressive toward showing their mean spirited attitude toward your son.

ETA: I don't know what state you live in. However, since your son has been so traumatized, is there any chance that you can homeschool him for a few months, while you are searching for a new school? I would hate to see you rush around and settle for a school that might not be ideal, b/c you feel urgency in finding a new school.

Yeah, I was going to say that too. With the way things are I wouldn't want to keep my kid in there for another second. Esp. since he can't even make to the end of the day. And who could blame him? Poor kid! It just breaks my heart to read this. Are you working out of the home? Any chance you could keep the kids home until after Thanksgiving? Or use an alternate caregiver while you search for another school. I am so sorry.

[lizzywednesday]

As a victim of bullying myself, though never on the physical level, I feel for you and your DS. It made grammar school very difficult until I learned new skills to turn it back on the bullies. But it took a LONG time and I wasn't always consistent.

I think that you did what you thought was right at the time, escalated the situation to the appropriate people and ... they still didn't take appropriate action.

Now, you're forced to follow through on a threat about leaving that I think you made during the initial bullying situation and I am sure that can't be easy. I know you don't take the decision lightly! I just hope that wherever your DS goes next is supportive of him and his needs.

Hearing that your DS is making statements that he wants to give up and doesn't want to live really hurts me and I don't even know you guys IRL.

I can't imagine what it's like for you as his mom.

Your DS sounds like a wonderful kid with so very much to offer to this world.

Sending you and your family major P&PT. And a big

[sidmand]

I'm so sorry to hear your update. You've been doing everything in your power to help your son and absolutely thought you were doing the right thing. I'm sure not one person will say I told you so. It was clear you were thinking things out and with the information you were given you made the right choice. I'm so sorry it's come to this. I'm hoping for a wonderful outcome for your son and your family. Shame on that entire school for not being better at protecting their children. And shame on them for making you feel so bad as well.

[lil_acorn]

Melbel- that is horrible and I am so sorry. I just wanted to offer you some virtual hugs. I can't recall, but is your son in therapy? I would highly recommend it so he can work through some of his feelings with a trained professional.

[MamaMolly]

Oh that is just rotten. I'm so sorry for all of you. Huge hugs, and P& PT that you find a great new school ASAP.