ADD and school expectations

[SnuggleBuggles]

Probably mostly a vent but would be curious to hear (gentle) opinions. Ds1 has a 504 plan for his ADD dx. He's a straight A student, passed his first round of GIEP testing (taking next round soon), and basically does well on all things academic. However, he won't be earning high honor roll this term because he had 2 "needs improvement" on his report card. He needs improvement on organizing materials and practicing self control. She said the self control one was when he would, about once a week, come up to share some random thing with the teacher. She said it wasn;t a big deal, just something to work on (hence the "needs improvement"). i contest that those 2 things are part and parcel of a kid with ADD and I'd love if they didn't hold him back from earning awards. He's in 4th grade, btw. We really don't put much stock into awards and such though I am happy with his academic work. But, he is disappointed that for the 1st time he won't be getting an award. Hopefully he can make progress on those things but I worry that he is always going to struggle on the organization one.

Beth

[hillview]

Wow no experience but that is a bummer. Tough spot but I would consider (not sure if I would) going to the teachers and discussing this. Congrats to DS on such a great report card!

[roseyloxs]

That is BS and a terrible policy in general. What student, including straight A ones don't have something or two somethings to improve on? They can be a better team player, a better leader, more organized, more helpful, quieter, speak up more, I could list a hundred more. Its completely subjective and a terrible hit to a child's self esteem. If they are going to bother giving out awards and they probably just shouldn't for elementary students then they should do it fairly and just base it on grades. Furthermore for your exact student its even more of a travesty since his improvement marks are well known symptoms of ADD.

Both of my brothers had ADD with my youngest brother being the most severe and he would get hit with crap like that all the time. If he would forget his book for open reading the teacher would have him stare at his desk for 20 minutes instead of sending him to his locker or the library (just 5 feet away) to get it. Its so aggravating to hear about teachers who have no interest in understanding ADD and forgiving a simple slip here or there. Its not like they aren't/weren't trying.

I would definitely have a chat with the teacher or the principal to at least discuss possible future awards.

[pinkmomagain]

No advice but I do sympathize. It does seem unfair that he the awards are somewhat based on these elements that clearly come right along with his ADD dx. DD2 struggles big time with the organizational piece. Maybe take stock that as he gets older (MS, HS) teachers won't be grading self control or organizational skills (although these can affect academic grades). And although your DS is disappointed, how our kids process things like this is influenced greatly by how we as parents react. I'm sure you are doing a great job helping him get passed it.

[JTsMom]

I don't think that's fair, and it would definitely bother me. He must not be THAT disorganized if he's doing so well academically, right? And if sharing 1 random thing a week with your teacher qualifies as a self control problem for any child, let alone one with ADHD, I can't imagine too many kids have it!

[Gena]

i contest that those 2 things are part and parcel of a kid with ADD and I'd love if they didn't hold him back from earning awards.

This would really upset me. These are manifestations of his ADD. So your child is being penalized for having a disorder. I would discuss this policy with the school.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I don't think that's fair, and it would definitely bother me. He must not be THAT disorganized if he's doing so well academically, right? And if sharing 1 random thing a week with your teacher qualifies as a self control problem for any child, let alone one with ADHD, I can't imagine too many kids have it!

i totally agree with this and what roseylox said. IMO that's not fair at all. if he's getting excellent grades, he must be somewhat decently organized. and if spontaneously sharing something w/ a teacher once a WEEK qualifies as "needs better self control," then i can't imagine most kids (ADD or not) who meet their standard of self-control.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Thanks all for confirming my gut feeling on this. Maybe I'll start by talking with the special ed. director and talk about his 504 plan and appropriate expectations for all of us involved.

Beth

[missym]

We're experiencing first-hand the difference between a teacher who "gets" ADHD and one who doesn't. Last year was awful. DD1 was convinced she was a "bad student" and she started hating school. We kept hearing things like, "If she'd just try harder..." Her teacher really thought if she just tried hard enough, she'd be able to act/think like the non-ADD kids. I felt like saying, she's getting A's and B's, what more do you want from the poor kid?

This year is going great. She loves school and her teacher. Night and day difference. I'm sorry you seem to be dealing with a teacher who doesn't "get" it.

[hbridge]

I may be the voice of dissent, BUT we have already vowed that NO MATTER WHAT the diagnosis, the expectations on DC are the same as we would have for any other child! We will do all we can to help manage whatever the issue is, but the expectations at home and school are the same! The world doesn't care about your child's diagnosis and not making high honors in grade school may just give him the incentive to figure out strategies that work for him that will help him in the areas that he is "struggling".

I totally understand your frustration, I do. BUT, as we help our children prepare for their future, it's important to make sure that we don't give them excuses...