If you've lost a parent...... Update post 143, more ?s

[Elilly]

I am fighting a losing battle. I need to do as much as I can to leave a legacy. So far, I have come up with the following:
Hallmark recordable books
25 love letters and words of wisdom
A list of certain gifts for certain points in their lives - wedding, 1st apartment etc for DH
Just between me and you books for both kiddos
I've finished their baby books

I know that I can never do enough to ease their pain but any suggestions are most definitely welcome. Thanks!

[amandabea]

I'm so sorry.

My dad died when I was 10. I wish I had movies with him in them from my childhood and more pictures. Also, recorded books would have been great - not sure when I would have felt comforted listening to them though. Also, the story of his life.

Many P&PT going out to you and your family.

ETA: your wish list for them - just the simple things either by life stage or not - this could be something you provide to your DH much like the gift list.

[Globetrotter]

I am so sorry that you are facing this

It sounds like you are doing the right things.

[plusbellelavie]

I am so sorry!!

It sounds like you have done some wonderful things already. A

A video diary...perhaps your "wise" words for each of your children as they reach certain milestones in their lives. Seeing you and hearing you will be important to them.

Video stories about them, how you met their father, your childhood, your hopes and dreams for yourself and for them, big events in your life how they effected you (like having your first boyfriend, breaking up, best friends, school experience, graduating from HS/College, first apartment, first job, marriage, their birth, etc) but I would also have a section about your health and how it has effected you. A video of you reading a favorite stroy to them.

Again, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this!

My suggestions comes from a very good friend who lost her battle with brain cancer and she left her 2 yr old very similar things as you are planning plus several videos unedited of her talking about different subjects. I believe they bring and will continue to bring some sort of comfort to her daughter and her DH even 5 years later.

Lots of P&PT!

[Melbel]

First, I am sending heartfelt prayers and positive thoughts your way. I cannot imagine the fear and sadness you must be feeling not only regarding your own health, but the impact on your children. It sounds as though you already have some great ideas. I have a dear friend with children about your same DC's age who is suffering from an aggressive brain cancer and have watched her journey. She is now beating the odds at 2 years post diagnosis with a recent clean MRI scan (her expected prognosis was about 8 months).

My DF had signed birthday cards for her kids. Recently, she had the joy of giving her son his 10th birthday card when she did not think it would be possible (signed with no mention of death or past tense). She has also been working to organize photos and videos with the help of friends. They have taken some family trips to some pretty great places (to the extent she has felt up to traveling).

I personally would have liked pictures of my mom in your situation.

My father in law has recorded a tribute with various life stories.

My mother in law has done a fair amount of genealogy. The recording of the family births/deaths somehow seems to put things in perspective.

Again, I am so sorry.

[infomama]

I'm so sorry.
I would have to say videos of him talking about himself, his life, being my Dad. Even more so....videos of us together. I love reading his letters and most are short but always full of love. Speak from the heart to them.
Huge hugs.

[elephantmeg]

just wanted to send hugs, P+PT

[MichelleRC]

[MoJo]

Huge hugs to you and prayers for you and your family.

I'm thankful I have pictures of me with my dad and find lots of comfort in those. I have a special CD and album of just those pictures and look at it several times each year.

Beyond that, my hope for my own kids is that they would strongly know how much I love and enjoy them. I actually worry about that. . . that no one else knows and could let them know if something happened to me.

More hugs and prayers.

[scrooks]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Everything you are doing sounds quite lovely. Exactly what I would want from a parent that was no longer with me. That being said, based on some issues in our family I have a slightly unrelated suggestion. Make sure all of your financial wishes for your dc are very very clearly spelled out and documented in addition to any custody / visitation wishes. My SIL passed away when DN was 3 years old. She was a very organized financially savvy person. BIL is not. This past fall DN started college (something that would have been extremely important to SIL )and mysteriously there isn't any money set aside and my ILs are now footing the bill. Its an awful situation. I'm sure this is an extreme case and I'm sure your DH is a responsible individual but I just thought I would mention it since it has caused DN and my ILs a lot of pain.

More hugs to you...