If you've lost a parent...... Update post 143, more ?s

[daisymommy]

Ive been thinking about you, and praying that you have had some peaceful good days, just enjoying your family and the love that they bring, and you to them.
Hang in there and know that we care about you!

[kayta]

I have seen the popularity of your thread for a while, but I finally clicked on it and read it and wow! I can’t stop thinking about it, so you have inspired my second post!

First, it reminded me of this episode of “This American Life” (when a mom who dies of cancer leaves letters behind for her daughter) that I found interesting:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radi...01/parent-trap

To answer your question though, and I’ve hardly read any responses, so I’m sorry if these are redundant suggestions, but what about:

writing some stories about yourself? For whatever has been memorable for you in your life, like maybe how you met their dad, what your day was like on 9/11, things you have changed your mind about as you have grown, experiences that have influenced you, things you always wanted to do…

writing some stories about your kids? Maybe you have covered this with the baby book stuff, but I think some of my most memorable experiences with my DCs have not been milestones or holidays, but just random days hanging out together when something really funny happens, a great conversation develops, or they display some great understanding of something I didn’t realize they had.

writing stories to go with pictures of them, or objects that you are saving? I think they would mean more if your kids knew why you set those things specifically aside.

Anyway, I think my preference would be to focus on the past, as you never know what will happen in the future, but I’m sure your kids will love it all! Best of luck!

[firstbaby]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to appreciate every moment.

[MamaKath]

I have been thinking of you and your family daily and holding all of you in prayer. Thank you for reminding me that I need to recognize the importance of each moment even if they aren't "good" ones.

[xmasbabycomin]

I, too, am amazed and moved by your motivation, strength and dedication to your family. The fact that you are inspiring others while you ask for help just makes me happy that we all found each other on this board.

Of course you already have amazing ideas. I love the way these suggestions incorporate all the senses: taste (recipes), sight (pictures, books, videos), sound (recordable books), touch (special objects, loveys) and even smell (again, recipes, maybe perfume). I especially love the idea of giving art, whether purchased or created. That is something that one would not just stick in a drawer-it could be enjoyed constantly. Other ideas That stand out are hooking DH up with this board or other other ways to find parental support. I also really like the idea of incorporating other people who are or have been in your life,whether through their efforts now or in the future. As a previous poster said, you could record discussions with these peopleabout your life. But you could also incorporate them into your wishes for the future, possibly having them present your gifts or take them to places that are meaningful to you. I haven't read it, but just this week someone told me about a book written by a terminal father; it's described as about how he incorporated people who had a great influence on him into his wishes/legacy for his children. It's called The Council of Dads, by Bruce Feiler.

I have also noticed how many people, including myself value hearing a loved one's voice. Obviously if a fetus can recognize a mother's voice from the womb, it'spowerful. One too, you may consider is the Anytime Reader. I'm tired so I probably won't explain it well, but it allows you to record your voice onto a sticker and, using a Tag-like pen, a listener can press the sticker and hear the recording assigned to that sticker. This way you can make any book -like Oh the Places You'll Go!-recordable, and maybe add stickers to objects to explain to what they are. Some people use them in scrap booking.
http://www.amazon.com/Anybook-Reader.../dp/B004C0839Y

Thanks for trusting us to share this journey with you. I hope you can see how much you have inspiration and thoughtfulness you have brought.

Lisa