I thought about this thread yesterday.
We had a really busy weekend and DS was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the activity by the time we went out to a late lunch/early dinner yesterday afternoon. It was a family friendly restaurant where the kids' menus have puzzles and activities. DS had a hard time settling down, even after DH and I tried several different strategies, and we were all very frustrated. The restaurant was busy and DS was clearly attracting some attention from other diners. I was thinking that we might have to leave.
Then DS said to me, "Mommy, may I have a pen please?"
I asked, "Why? Do you want to write on your menu?"
DS said, "No. I want to stim on it."
I asked him, "Will stimming calm you down, or get you more worked up?"
DS said, "I want to stim to calm down."
So I gave him a pen. He rapidly waved it in front of his eyes for a minute. Then he held it parallel to the floor and moved it in slow circles in front of his right eye while quietly humming a little tune. I'm familiar with this pattern of movement and sound. His breathing slowed and his body relaxed. He stopped kicking the seat. After a few minutes he was calm.
I ignored the looks from the parents at nearby tables: some clearly disapproving, others full of pity, a few puzzled. Stimming works for DS, so I'm long past caring what they think.
Our food arrived and DS was pretty good for the rest of the meal - not perfect, but as good as could be expected. We enjoyed ourselves. I thought of this thread and how wonderful it is that DS can tell me when he needs to stim to calm himself down.
Gena
DS, age 11 and always amazing
“Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong