Stuff OB's Say

[mikala]

"Well, you should avoid core exercises because you don't want to accidentally push the baby out". ???

If only I had known I could skip 36 hours of labor by just doing ab work, and oops, there's the baby. Sign me up!

[klwa]

*laughs* Just went in for my 6 week appt with the OB nurse last week. She looks at me, looks at my chart, and says, "Wow! It's been a WHILE since you've been here. A lot of things have changed!" Uhm, didn't know 4 years was THAT big of an age gap.

[Mopey]

I love my ob/gyn. Have seen him since I was a teen. He has a very dry sense of humor. So my hubby and I went in for the first sonogram last summer and he broke out the covers for the internal sonogram wand (which I didn't realize was necessary at the start).

So I said, "Are those....condoms?"

And he says, "Absolutely! We practice safe sonogram here!"

[BabyBearsMom]

This isn't my OB, but the OB who was on call when DD1 was born had the worst bedside manner ever. I ended up with an emergency C Section (DD was not tolerating labor at all because her cord was less than 12 inches long and was being stretched during contractions), so they are sewing me up and I say "Is something burning?" and He says "That's you, ma'am. I'm cauterizing." I nearly puked at the thought that I was being burnt and couldn't feel it.

But the worst was after DD and I were in recovery and we are bonding with each other. The OB comes in and says very matter of factly "She is a beautiful baby. You know, you are really lucky this birth didn't happen a hundred years ago. There is no way your baby would have survived a vaginal labor, her cord would have snapped. And in all likelihood, you would have hemorhaged to death." My DH stood up and started walking towards the guy like he was going to punch him in the face, and I have no doubt that he would have, and our midwife (who is wonderful) had to get between him and tell the OB to leave.

When I saw the midwife for this pregnancy she said to me "Well, let me get you the on-call schedule and maybe this time you might want to hold off coming to the hospital when Dr. XXXX is on duty."

[BabbyO]

With DS2

1. Please, PLEASE come into the hospital earlier! (I arrived at the clinic with DS1 10 cm and fully effaced...they rushed me to the hospital in an ambulance and I had DS1 within minutes of arriving at the hospital)

2. About my 20 week appt the doc asked how I was doing and what I'd been up to. I said, "Oh, I walked a half marathon last weekend." The look on his face was shock and horror. I said, "well you let me do the same half marathon with DS1 and I was more like 30 wks so I assumed it would be fine this time."

The doc said, "I let you walk a half marathon?!"

I said, "yep, you even signed a release letter."

He said, "Wow, I did? Hmmmm..."

It was clear he was wondering what he was thinking when he signed the paperwork!

[mom3boys]

With DS3, about 37 wks:

Me: "I have this nearly constant lower abdominal pain, it's really uncomfortable"

OB: "Yeah, the pain towards the end gets worse with the 2nd pregnancy and then is even worse with the third. The good news is if you decide to have a fourth it won't feel any worse because after the third everything down there is so stretched out and ruined it really doesn't matter any more."

[MamaMolly]

Lula was a 36 weeker, but was still 7lbs 4 oz. I had a small 1st degree tear that the OB (not mine, the one on call) described as 'unimpressive'. Being a fairly un-physical person and having just delivered my first baby, I was feeling like my Woo-woo was VERY impressive just at that moment. I mean honestly, does ANY woman want to hear that hee vajayjay is unimpressive?

Is anyone else noticing a common theme? About on call OBs?

[swissair81]

Lula was a 36 weeker, but was still 7lbs 4 oz. I had a small 1st degree tear that the OB (not mine, the one on call) described as 'unimpressive'. Being a fairly un-physical person and having just delivered my first baby, I was feeling like my Woo-woo was VERY impressive just at that moment. I mean honestly, does ANY woman want to hear that hee vajayjay is unimpressive?

Is anyone else noticing a common theme? About on call OBs?

I'll counter it. 2 of my births were not attended by my OB. DD2 came so quickly that she was caught by the staff physician. She was lovely, she made sure I didn't tear, and she kicked the resident out when she wanted to do something the OB didn't approve of. DS was born when the only doctor I hadn't met out of an 8 doctor practice was on call. He came right away when he heard it was my 3rd and sat in the room with me. He sat and talked to both of us (DH and I), like he had nothing better to do at 4 am. My son was posterior and I never heard a word about it. No threatened c-section, no uh-oh, just calmness and coolness. He moved to another practice between DS and DD3 and we switched with him. I was high risk and he was just 70 different kinds of awesome. He is the sole reason I haven't switched to a midwife. I don't believe any midwife can be more caring or competent than this man (and as an aspiring midwife, that's saying a whole lot). I could say more, but that might run into gushing, and no one really wants that

[swissair81]

But the worst was after DD and I were in recovery and we are bonding with each other. The OB comes in and says very matter of factly "She is a beautiful baby. You know, you are really lucky this birth didn't happen a hundred years ago. There is no way your baby would have survived a vaginal labor, her cord would have snapped. And in all likelihood, you would have hemorhaged to death." My DH stood up and started walking towards the guy like he was going to punch him in the face, and I have no doubt that he would have, and our midwife (who is wonderful) had to get between him and tell the OB to leave.

I'm fairly sure that my husband would have been arrested if that little drama had happened in my room. My husband takes his spousal advocacy duties very seriously. He has kicked residents out of my room, complained loudly when needed, and reminds me that I hate epidurals if I happen to forget that during labor. He would have had a serious anger management problem with that OB.

[BabyBearsMom]

I'm fairly sure that my husband would have been arrested if that little drama had happened in my room. My husband takes his spousal advocacy duties very seriously. He has kicked residents out of my room, complained loudly when needed, and reminds me that I hate epidurals if I happen to forget that during labor. He would have had a serious anger management problem with that OB.

It was actually pretty close to blows. My DH is pretty even tempered but to tell him that his wife and brand new daughter could have died as if you are talking about the weather is not wise. I had an image of me 2 days post pardum bailing him out of jail. Thank goodness my midwife was there to keep the peace. DH also booted a night nurse out of our hospital room for giving me flack on BFing DD.